Today I found out that I have HPV and I told my boyfriend of 8 months now he's not really talking to me?

Question

Apparently the virus has been floating around in my body since I was 16 years old. I never knew until today. Me and my boyfriend don't use condoms all the time and I told him about the virus. He said it's okay because I didn't know. But he's not really talking to me anymore. Is this the end for us? What should I do?

I know I've had it since I was 16 because I told my doctor about a procedure I had done called (LEEP) some type of elecrocuttery surgery used to cut off part of my cervix and my doctor told me that it might been in my system since then.

Answer 1

how you know you had it since you was 16?

there is no way to know how long you had it.


maybe he gave it to you...

I got it too. About 50% of all adults have it. It's no big deal unless you are one of those people that breaks out from it. I have no symptoms at all.

Answer 2

Let's see; he's doing something that doesn't effect you or your relationship negatively and was worried about your nonsensical preconceived and misinformed notions ruining a healthy relationship. You say he's perfect so it must not be effecting his ability to have a relationship with you? Yes he lied and that is bad, but at least you know the truth now. Besides him lying did anything negative ever come out of him smoking cannabis? Nothing has changed objectively, so why not just keep on loving him like you did before you knew this if it's not having any negative effects? Every one alters their consciousness is a multitude of ways; music, clothing, television/movies, playing sports, sky diving ect. He just chooses to do it by smoking a particular plant. Cannabis isn't physically addictive in the first place, so I don't know what you mean by addict. Perhaps the person you dated was doing other drugs; opiates or cocaine? I'll have to clarify some information that an above poster has said. Cannabis does not cause psychosis directly, period. It can cause a psychotic break in an individual with latent schizophrenia, meaning this would have happened with or without cannabis use. It only altered the time table that the symptoms manifested themselves in. Also as for questioning his intelligence for using cannabis? Studies done here in the United States have shown that habitual cannabis smokers have on average an 18 point higher IQ than their non-using counterparts. In fact there was a direct correlation between the degree of average use and the users IQ. I bet you'd think some one was dumb for using LSD too. Why not talk to Bill Gates, Steve Jobs and Richard Branson? They might have a dissenting opinion on this matter.

Answer 3

It might be, but doesn't have to be. He's probably got a lot of feelings, and some of them aren't kind or attractive, and he's leery of sharing them with you. Give him some time.

It's been estimated that something like 80% of the sexually active population carry HPV, and condoms don't protect you completely from getting it. Perhaps while he takes a few days and feels his feelings, he will find some of this out. Or you could ask your doctor for some literature to give him.

Either way he should see a urologist. I discovered I had it when I was married (and pregnant). After multiple treatments, they kept coming back. Finally, I took a good hard look at my husband's privates and lo an behold, he had it too. Very tiny. Had been reinfecting me, in fact. The doctor stated it was impossible to know who gave it to whom, who had it first. Unless he was a virgin when you got together, he likely has it too, whether or not he's symptomatic right now. People just don't understand the pervasiveness of HPV.

Answer 4

Well, he may just be thinking things over. Even if he's not angry, it is a big piece of info to digest.
Drs now know HPV is NOT an STD. A big number of women have it and it clears up , they never even know they had it. Thankfully, you found out before it caused cervical cancer (at least I hope so). That is something for you both to be happy about.
I don't think it's the end for you guys. If he would end things over a virus you unintentionally gave him (and one that isn't dangerous or anything to men), it says alot about him.

Answer 5

I'm guessing he's not very educated about it. It has the potential to be very serious for women but on average it really isn't. Also, he shouldn't hold it against you - HPV is just recently coming into the spotlight. You weren't being irresponsible at all, nobody even knew it was a threat. I would just take some time to educate him about HPV so he understands that at the time your sexual relationship began (and when your began having sex period), HPV wasn't even an issue, so there was no way you could have known.

Answer 6

If you or your boyfriend were sexually active with others before your relationship it's highly likely that he came into contact with it before ever meeting you anyway. It's a very common virus that typically the immune system is able to fight. The body stores this virus and then hibernates for periods. I think he's probably worried that it's more serious then it is. He just needs to be informed.

Answer 7

okay i am CNA and i can tell you this now, you need to find out all your parnters you had sex with their parnters partner partners to find out who gave it to you. If you boyfriend take you for you then its loss not yours, i am sure you are very nice, sweet, cute, and attrative girl. HPV is not the end of the world. sounds like to me that your boyfriend is being pig headed about all of and not being mature and real man to talk to you about this and letting him know that you didnt know you had this virus at all. Well if it is over between you two like i said his loss, besides you might be better off without him. HPV should clear up you have 50/50 chance just stay positive and get checked after your next period just to be safe and for you to know yourself.
Sometimes guys dont understand that they have something and dont tell us so we end up getting the virus(s) cause they are the gigglos and when us women we end having sex with the guys and they a blame us for the virus(s) when it was them to to begin with and us women get called W*o*r*es....its not right and the guy(s) are called the man. gggggggrrrrrrrr...that just bugs me.
GOD BLESS YOU AGAIN SWEETIE. GOD LOVES YOU NO MATTER WHAT. @};-

Answer 8

Maybe he just needs time to digest the information he has learned.

Just let him have some space and then try to contact him in a few days. If he doesn't get in touch with you - it might be over.

Answer 9

Continue trying to talk to him and take care of yourself HPV can lead to cervical cancer if untreated. He probably somewhere trying to digest the info you gave him and maybe hes doing some research on his own about HPV.

Answer 10

He's probably mad at you for giving him an STD (and that IS a good reason for being upset with somebody!) But he still loves you, and doesn't want to hurt your feelings so he's quietly breaking up with you.

The best thing you can do is tell him your sorry, and direct him to a clinic where he can get treated.

And, if you get back with him or move on to another guy, remember ALWAYS USE CONDOMS - you can save yourself a lot of agony!