Am I wrong? guys and girls?!?

Question

We were really looking forwards to having a baby, but ive gained some weight and i decided id rather put off having a baby and get more in touch with myself. So i started losing weight and now my husband who wanted me to lose the weight is telling me he doesnt want me to and i started tanning two days ago and hes saying that i think i look like hot shi@ and i dont i really dont. I mean im glad its coming off hella fast..and i do wanna look better hell who dont its almost summer! but i think hes really taking it out of context and now he doesnt want me to be on the diet anymore or tan. Hes wanting more now then ever to get pregnant and i dont want to no more...is it wrong if i dont tell him and i just go get an iud put in? i mean i really wana do this for me and hes making it all about him? We're both 21 and now hes saying we only have til hes 25 and then he dont want any kids...i really dont think hes being fair..?

I just want to look good and feel really good why is it such a crime?

I already have a daughter who just turned 4 shes not my husband biological child. She is his daughter

Answer 1

yeah, he's not. i think dude is started to get scared cause your losing weight, looking extra good and he's starting to worry that he might lose you to another man. he sees how sexy your looking everyday and now he knows he's in for competition. just tell dude that your young your not ready, you want to enjoy your life and your new body. if he doesn't respect that.. than i guess he has another alternative.. hope things work out for you. remember do what makes YOU happy!!

Answer 2

No, you should not have an IUD put in without telling him, but he is acting very immaturely, so I wonder if having a child is the best thing for him. You are young to even be married, so rushing into having a child is a mistake. He is probably insecure and worried that if you start improving your appearance, you may decide you want to look outside of your marriage for happiness as well. A baby will help "cement" your relationship. However, if neither of you is ready, it will just cause problems. You need to tell him that you are not ready and that you just want to enjoy being a couple right now. There will be plenty of time for kids. Above all, don't let him pressure you because you will just resent him and it's not good for your marriage or the baby. When you're both ready, you will know.

Answer 3

#1: you're in a committed relationship; lying to him (about an IUD or otherwise) is a bad idea, and you shouldn't do it. Period.

#2: he's being honest, very much so, about a few things: he wants to have kids before he's 25, and when you lose weight and concentrate on tanning, he realizes it means you don't want to have kids yet. Be honest with him in return; tell him you're not ready.

Will this break you up? Possibly, but that's NOTHING compared to the pain and anguish you'll cause if you have a baby, THEN break up -- and you will, because if you can't communicate about this huge fundamental thing, then you can't about anything else either. Do not put your child through that; work this out now, or give it up now.

Answer 4

Personally I do think think that's wrong of him and a relationship should be between to people and both partners should have a say on something important like this. Your husband shouldn't be the only one to decide when you're going to have children. You guys are only twenty one so that's kind of a young age to get married at in the first place,maybe he's scared or what you'll think or what you want,but all you can do is talk it over with your husband and if he doesn't understand you need to sit down and have a serious conversation 'cause marriage and kids are two really important things when growing up. Good luck

Answer 5

The simple solution to this is to let him babysit someone else's
"little bundle of joy" for a day. To be really effective, keep the baby overnight and make sure that your husband is the one to feed, and calm it down, and change it's dirty diaper. And then mention how cute he'll look driving a minivan and that, instead of spending nights with the guys, he can spend his nights with the kids. If he's cheap, mention how fast little boy and girls grow, and that you'll have to replace their wardrobe every six months. What fun! Don't forget to let him know that once the kids come, he won't have to worry about you exercising and getting a tan. Just like every other new mother, you plan to get pasty and fat. That will do the trick.

Answer 6

doesnt sound to me either one is mature enough yet to have children if your arguing about when you should lose weight, gain weight, get pregnant, dont get pregnant ,wow!!
he is afraid if you look good other men might want you and he is showing his insecurity and jealousy
hold off having kids you dont seem too strong of a couple if trouble is brewing already, you dont want to be left with the kids alone and he leaves later on because it wasnt meant to be.You have to carry the child and go through all that it should be up to you. And he is just threatening you into getting pregnant by saying at age 25 he dont want kids after that. I would just say so be it! how does he know what he wants at 25 dont fall for being pushed into pregnany by anyone.

Answer 7

speaking from experience! Wait to have kids you are both young and will miss out on your youth.If you have babies now rather than wait when your a little older you both will wanna get out and party you know that kind of stuff. that could also cause problems like which one of you is gonna stay home and watch the baby.And 75% of the time its the moms staying home. that means you .sure babies are so cute but they also grow up.so its experience talking wait till your more grown-up cause im 28 and have children and still not grown-up . lol he is selfish thinking only 21 and wanting children maybe I'm wrong but if you both seriously think about it it would not be fair to baby if you both were not ready

Answer 8

he is worried about you looking better and leaving him. He needs reasurrance that he is the only guy for you no matter how you look. You should NOT get iud without telling him. You should get iud but you should tell him, not ask him, that you are doing it. You dont want lies or secrets in your relationship. If you are only 21, you are too young for kids anyway. Keep working on yourself, you are worth it. Just talk it out with him. Dont be defensive, be reassuring and supportive of him too. Sounds like he has low self esteem.

Answer 9

You're willing to lie to him and get an iud? So you'll just let him think you're trying for a baby then?

If you can't both be on the same page about all of this, you really don't need kids. Especially at 21. His deadline of being done having children by age 25 is arbitrary.

Answer 10

Yeh, it is form of incorrect. You gotta keep in mind that the adulthood large difference (even regardless of the actuality that i'm particular you're very mature on your age) between 15 and 18 is way larger than 20-30. once you imagine of a relationship- I guess you're wondering romance. even as he's considering a 15 3 hundred and sixty 5 days previous lady, he has only one component on his ideas, and also you have not had sufficient journey of how manipulative adult adult males would properly be yet to manage it. Thats between the justifications any such number of youthful women get compelled into sex too early and finally end up regretting it...

Answer 11

This is tough. I don't think anyone here is wrong. You have a right to change your mind. You two are still very young, so I'm glad that you are reconsidering having kids now, rather than later. It seems like he is insecure. Thus, the more beautiful you are becoming, the more he fears of losing you. He needs to understand that he won't lose you this way, but his insecurity may! Good luck!