he hates showers, brushing teeth, haircuts. he'd wear the same basketball pants and tshirt for days if i let him. he throws his clothes everywhere, spits in the sink and doesn't wash it out, cuts nose hair in the sink and gets it everywhere. i don't want to nag and i've already tried talking to him, over and over and over again. he just ignores me and laughs or just says sorry he forgot. i don't want to have to walk out on my hubby cuz he's the biggest slob in the wrld. anyone going through this too?
2007-01-24 15:15:21 · 12 answers · asked by nlightnd26 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
That sounds bad. My husband is the exact same way, except for the sink stuff. He is so messy and clutters up everything and I have so many cigarette burns on my carpets, lineolum, furniture that I am ashamed to come home. He does not work and this should be his job, but he does not understand what to do or how important my home once was for me. I live in the home I inherited when my father died. I have lived here for years and he --my husband--just came in and ruined it. I hate him for it. He knows that it depresses me and he tries his best at times, but I often wonder if he does not care or have any pride or if he really does not know how to do the cleaning. I think it is selfishness b/c I have showed him how to do things and he still does not do it unless I tell him and have to stand over him and that is useless b/c at that point I could just do it myself instead of standing there and coaching him--and often being told that I am nagging. Then when I feel like cleaning, after being depressed from his lack of, he gets mad and tells me to slow down and yells at me for cleaning and feels guilty for me having to do it. Oh I see no end to this and I have no answer as to how to get him to be more respectful to our home. It makes me ill. I mean... like can't he put the towels in the hamper and when he does, he puts them in my clothes hamper but he usually just tosses them on the floor. He may wash dishes, but does not wipe anything on the sink or table or stove. He leaves the animals food laying everywhere in the kitchen and he is suppose to limit there stuff to the back rooms. He leaves trash all over my car and all over the yard. Hell, I feel like white trash. I use to have and take pride in myself, but this is what is really bringing me down--paying all the bills and coming home to this mess. I use to get the house fixed up and even decorate for holidays but no more... heck the decorations from fall are still behind my couch instead of in the attic. I could go on and on, but I have rambled enough. Thanks for letting me vent. :) Anyway, I guess his lack of caring has rubbed off on me and now I still care, but I know there is no need to b/c it will not get any better. I am afraid to buy new carpet just to see the burn holes again. ahhhhh!!!!!!!
2007-01-24 17:18:41 · answer #1 · answered by just julie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hm... poor personal hygiene often seems to be connected with problems with mental health. People that I've known with depression, for example, don't seem to care too much about hygiene like showers or brushing teeth. Is it possible your husband is having these kind of problems?
As far as talking to him about it, obviously whatever you've been doing hasn't been working. Perhaps marriage counseling would be in order?
2007-01-25 01:42:38 · answer #2 · answered by drshorty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My ex-husband was like that (mostlikely still is).
Although that was not the reason for our divorce, I have to say, there were many times when I resented him for it or was embarassed. I remember once years ago, when my mom refused to go out with him unless he'd change his pants, and he did!
So, I do not think you are a nag, and you shouldn't have to try talking to him. Tell him how it grosses you out (I'm sure especially the personal hygiene part), and that it's not funny.
2007-01-24 23:25:34 · answer #3 · answered by avechm 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't sound like him being a slob is the issue.
It sounds like him being inconsiderate and uncaring is the issue.
Does not sound like just normal 'being a guy'.
I woudn't want to live with someone who cares so little about my feelings and sensitivities.
Its not like just regular messiness, where you can hire a cleaner, or pick it up once a week - its like he's almost purposely getting in your face and space in the grossest ways.
Sounds passive-aggressive to me.
Again - sympathy.
.
2007-01-24 23:26:03 · answer #4 · answered by cyclgrrl 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My wife is a slob, everytime i go for a p*ss the sink's full of washing up
2007-01-24 23:21:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
welcome to my life..only mine loves showers but not cleaning up in any aspect after using the shower...
and the shaving over the sink/bathroom counter makes me ill on an every day basis.. I find his needle sharp hairs everywhere but where they should be...
2007-01-24 23:20:54 · answer #6 · answered by The Chesire Cat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have to ask WHY did you marry him? I am sure he didn;t develop these wonderful traits since you married him, If he has boy have you gotten the short end of the stick. and why are you putting up with it, sounds like he wouldn't even notice if you left
2007-01-24 23:25:14 · answer #7 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nope. My husband likes cleanliness but not so much in the kitchen. There is always breadcrumbs or plastic bag there.
2007-01-24 23:23:01 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sheeshhhh, my wife wouldn't have left me - she would kick my a_ _ out, and I wouldn't blame her a bit. Why, and how, do you put up with that? And, how could he be like that if you are just the opposite? (actually, you didn't say how you are) hmmmm
2007-01-24 23:27:44 · answer #9 · answered by J T 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's what makes him a guy, Did you want to date a fag?
2007-01-24 23:19:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋