My son Kyle was born and died on the Jan 13th after only four hours of life.
I was only six and a half months pregnant and I never even got to hold him while he was alive.
There is nobody here to grieve with me.
My ex boyfriend and Kyle's father went to sleep after hearing I was having a C section. We had broken up before I knew I was pregnant.
The few freinds I have are avoiding seeing me in person. My ex husband took the time I was in the hospital to try to have my two sons taken away and I have a court date next month.
I feel so alone and dispised.
Please can someone help me
2007-01-24 15:10:55 · 14 answers · asked by freemana 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Sweetheart, I cried when I read your post. I will try to give you the best advice that I possibly can to comfort you. But first, I wish I knew what state you live in. I'm sure there are people on this post like myself who would be willing to give you emotional support in person. Reading words on a screen is so impersonal, but at least I hope mine will help. I can always be reached at answersme123@hotmail.com
When it comes to death, please remember this... Death does not mean "goodbye", it only means "I will see you later". I'm not sure what your faith is, but Jesus said "He who believes in me shall never perish, but have everlasting life", which means we never truly "die", only our flesh dies. One day we WILL all be reunited with our loved ones...please hold on to that...even when the wait seems long.
Please be strong and never lose your faith. Sometimes we get angry at God and question why horrible things like this happen, but remember that His Divine Plan has a reason for everything, even when we do not understand it. If Kyle was born so prematurely, I know is lungs were not strong or fully developed and probably would have been a very weak and sickly child. He is no longer suffering. This little angel is with our Lord Jesus now. Infants go DIRECTLY to Heaven. He is in our Lord's arms, in peace, and not tied up to any machines or to an incubator...
When you think of the pain you feel in your heart about Kyle, remember your other two precious boys and how much you love them, how much they love you and how much they need you. Focus on them all the love you have for them AND the love you feel for little Kyle. Don't neglect them emotionally because of your grief. Convert your grief into extra love and attention for your other sons. Hug them tightly, love them endlessly and remember they are God's gift for you NOW and ALWAYS. Think of the women in pain who have never been able to have children, or have had only one, only to lose it and not have other children to love... Even amidst your pain, remember that you still have SO MUCH, your other boys...
It sounds like Kyle's father wasn't going to be around much for him since he seemed to not care about his birth. Kyle is also now spared the terrible pain of having a father who was probably going to be indifferent to him. And now you are no longer tied to this man, thank God! Now that you have gone through this, in the future you will choose wisely and not have children with an undeserving man. A lesson well learned I am sure my friend...
About your ex-husband taking away your boys, there's something you need to know... I am a paralegal and have pretty good knowledge about family law. Again, I don't know what state you live in, but I would say the great majority of family law judges that I have encountered will not, and I repeat, will NOT take away any mother's children UNLESS she is a drug addict or a chronic alcoholic and is seriously neglecting the children and/or putting them in danger. Physical, emotional and sexual abuse cases would also fall into this category. I am sure that none of these circumstances pertain to you and that your husband is just using "strong arm" tactics to scare and manipulate you. Don't fear! If you've been a good mother and none of the above can be proven against you, NO court will take custody of your boys away from you, not even if he has an attorney, MUCH LESS if he's filing papers against you via Pro Se (by himself without an attorney).
And please don't forget to pray my friend... give all your pain to God and ask his help to turn it into something bearable. Pray hard, cry hard if you must. Pray with complete faith. He will listen. Trust me. He said "Lay all your cares on Me". No matter how horrible it all seems right now, remember this too shall pass...Your heart will be whole again.
I pray for your strength and I hope so much that my words have eased your pain and fears somewhat. Let us know how your're progressing. <<
2007-01-24 16:46:41 · answer #1 · answered by Answersme123 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I am work and I am crying and my co-workers are looking at me. You poor sweetheart, I am so sorry for you. I have four children but one of my babies died when I was 5 months pregnant. Unfortunately I wasn't able to even hold my baby too. Kyle is in heaven waiting for you and when our time on this earth ends and you go there he will run to you saying "mommy". I totally believe that.
Your friends are probably too scared to know what to say - people often feel uncomfortable in situations like that. Concentrate on your two lovely sons you have and go and see a nice female doctor to get some help. You probably need a really good friend right now. All us Mums on line will be thinking of you and have you in our prayers. Good luck at the court date. I hope things get better for you.
2007-01-25 00:06:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry that you are suffering alone right now.....I wish I could find the words to help comfort you and give you some peace of mind, all I can say is I may not know you I may not be in your shoes but I know what is is to have children and be pregnant(i am now) so I so deeply feel for your loss. And as for those scum ex's to hell with them both....how dare they crap on you right now. I have a niece who had a son born extremely ill (i mean REAL BAD)a few yrs back. He only got to come home two times he lived a yr and a mo....she never really got to hold him touch him, anything he was constantly on machines. It was the worst thing I've ever had to see a mother go through....I would have died if that had been me...but she also had two other children(two boys) who needed her very much. its been a few yrs now and shes still not able to deal with what happened....it tears her up so much....you'll never be alone...somewhere out there someone shares a story similar to yours .....please talk to someone outside of all of this(support groups) you'll find strength in it....I promise.....but dont let people push you. In time when you are ready...and only you will know when that is....You'll be in my prayers
(((HUGS))))
2007-01-24 23:54:28 · answer #3 · answered by chellywelly 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry to hear such an awful thing I feel so bad for you I can't even imagine what you must be going through I got all teary eyed just reading this. Its a shame know one will help you but you need to remember that god is and always will be don't ever forget that. What about your parents can't you talk to them, maybe you should talk to a professional about this or go to chat rooms or websites and talk to other people in similar situations. I know that isn't much help but that's all I can think of at the moment sorry. God Bless you and you will be in my prayers.
2007-01-24 23:24:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I understand yr situation and can easily guess how u feel now. Dear, there are moments in life when we feel isolated and lonely..there are times when our own ones leave us and go. This is a part of life.
I am sorry to hear the death of yr son. Pls face the situation boldly with prayers. God will always stand by you.
Good luck friend.
2007-01-25 00:25:13 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing that I can say to make you feel better. But I am so sorry for your loss. you and messenger my and we can talk am i will try to help you with the grieving am much as i can and i will talk you you as long as you like if you just need a friend i Will be the best Friend that i can be over the net.My heart gos out to you and i am so sorry
2007-01-24 23:21:25 · answer #6 · answered by can i help 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
OHHH Sweetheart my heart breaks for you..omg i can't even imagine how you must feel.
Just know that God holds Kyle in his loving arms and that he will give you comfort in this your time of need.
I'm so sorry you are alone there but your not grieving alone now .I am grieving with you for your loss as i am sure everyone on yahoo will be.If you need to talk I AM HERE i will talk to you all day long!!!!!!!!!!!!! God Bless You Honey & comfort you quickly.
2007-01-24 23:24:02 · answer #7 · answered by earthangel_candy 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is always hard in times like these. Your friends have not forgotten you, they just probably don't know what to say. I don't even know what to say, but I feel like I need to say something if nothing else, you will know someone cares for you and your time of sorrow. Try to call your closest friend up, let her or him know that you feel like they probably don't know what to say and you understand, but you would like for them to come over just to sit with you or talk with you. Try to understand that everything happens for a reason. Maybe your little one passed because there would have been more complications down the line. I know he was there for 6 months, but what if he had made it to 3 weeks old with you there by his side watching him suffer only to lose him then? He is not sick or hurting, he is in a comfortable place now. My heart and prayers are with you. Be strong for your other children, you need them as much as they need you right now.
2007-01-24 23:22:50 · answer #8 · answered by mom of 2 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
my heart goes out to you, I could not imagine what you are going through right now...you mentioned "friends" well if they are truly that then you should call and tell them you need a shoulder right about now, if they arent there for you, then they arent your friends at all! always keep Kyle in your heart and focus on your other kids because you need each other.
you are in my thoughts and prayers......
2007-01-25 00:10:59 · answer #9 · answered by Heather _ 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am very sorry for your loss. I know there is nothing i can say to make you feel better. Only that i am thinking of you . I to have lost a baby. I can relate to what you are feeling though . well if you would like to e-mail me . e-mail me at jesslinn20@yahoo.com.
2007-01-24 23:44:53 · answer #10 · answered by jesslinn20 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋