At least 3 girls that I know of (one he cheated on me with when we first got 2gether 2 yrs ago) come into his work (he works at a music store) and they buy him stuff for christmas and he says they are just friends. He knows how I feel about it and I found out that the one he cheated on me with came in to visit him at work yesterday. I went a bit crazy and contacted her and the other girls too and told them basically that I would appreciate them staying away from him. He always used the excuse that he couldn't be rude and tell them they werent welcome so I actually did the dirty work for him by telling them 2 stay away.. Well, he wants to break up now and says I have no right telling him who he can and can't be friends with.. I understand that. However, no woman would allow their man to be friends with the girl they cheated on them with. The others he used to date also. Am I wrong in thinking that he ultimately chose them over me?? Was I wrong in contacting them?
2007-01-24 15:03:40 · 9 answers · asked by Misti C 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think that perhaps you shouldn't have contacted them. The problem is with him not with them. They have no loyalty towards you at all - HE does. He should have respected your wishes and told the girls to back off. Saying he doesn't want to "be rude" is a lame excuse - he could have explained the situation to them - maybe told them to back off a bit, maybe sat down with you and talked about your issues until you came to a compromise.
If it were me i wouldn't neccessarily think he was "choosing" them over you, i think maybe he is just trying to exert some control over the situation to prove that you "can't choose his friends".
Do you trust him? He cheated on you with a girl he is still friends with... i would have problems with that! But then if i didn't trust the guy i would know the relationship isn't going to work anyway and i'd be outta there. You deserve more than that (been cheated on.. took him back and he did it again... not worth it in the end hey!)
If you want to try sort them out sit down and talk to him - if you think its more hassle than its worth walk away with your head held high!
Good luck with whichever one you choose!
2007-01-24 15:15:14 · answer #1 · answered by Smiley One 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
while I understand u being upset at the fact that he cheated and that u rather he not be friends with these ex girlfriend's. I have to say that it was a bit too much to call these girls( I agree he should have been more caring about Ur feelings on u not being comfortable with him being friends with them)
I mean they are his ex and it is hard to see ur mate stil be friends with they ex when they do go off and cheat. He needed to tell these girls that he can't be too friendly with them out of respect for u and his relationship.
But calling them wasn't good sweetie, it only made things bad for u and him because now he feels he can't trust u
I hope things turn out for u and that maybe the next time u might think before doing anything that may end a relationship.
Good Luck
2007-01-24 15:19:38 · answer #2 · answered by itspink22@sbcglobal.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO hun u wasnt wrong.. if he really wanted to tell them to quit comin and seein him then he would have.. without saying I dont wanna be mean.. He has probably been cheatin the whole time.. Guys are soo mean at times.. You should break up with him he likes the attention from these other girls and Im sure he will keep doing this to you.. You need a new man that really sucks., Im sorry.. but once a cheaterALWAYS a cheater oh and no he shouldnt choose THEM over YOU.. YOU are his woman not them stupied w hore s.. I would Kill a girl if I found that out about my Man and her..
2007-01-24 15:09:12 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope you're absolutely right, he chose them over you. And you had every right to tell them off. especially if he cheated on you along time ago with that one. I bet they never stopped and he may have been with his "other " girls too when you two were dating.
You should just walk away..and move on. I know it'll be tough and all.. and you'll be hurt..but if he cheats on you again and again..you are gonna be crushed worse then if you just break up with him now ..you can't trust him anymore.. So just let him go anf move on!!!
2007-01-24 15:16:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
its kinda hard since she came into his place of work. so it could be innoccent. contacting the ex's is kinda crazy. but he certainly shouldnt be friends with a girl he cheated on you with. Friends in the sense they are really good friends.
But maybe he's just a jerk, and you should lose him anyway. Dont fool yourself into staying a relationship where youre not respected just to not be single.
2007-01-24 15:16:14 · answer #5 · answered by thisdogischinese 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you didnt voice out ur unhappiness beforehand... then you are in the wrong.
he is right that he has the rights to whom he wants to be friends with.
some guys might be too egoistic or rather selfish... to tell an ex that "sorry i dont think we should see each other anymore because my gf will feel insecure/ be hurt and i dont want to hurt her in anyway."
they rather pretend to be cool about it to fight it out with you behind the scene.
but then... they expect you to do that to guys you used to hang out with or guys who are wooing you.
furthermore and obviously, he doesnt care about how you feel and ur unhappiness.
if u are willing to live with all the crazy thoughts about him choosing his ex and all then may i say God bless.
otherwise...
move on with your life. i am sure u will be able to find someone who will spare a thought for u in each & every way.
2007-01-24 15:16:39 · answer #6 · answered by alibaba 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Contacting ex-girlfriends is a big NO NO, but since they are still around and his accepting things, I guess its an exemption. Just dump him, you deserve better.
2007-01-24 15:14:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude, i comprehend precisely the way you experience. this is going to be between the toughest issues you will ever ought to do on your existence yet you ought to do it even nevertheless you're no longer likely to prefer to. you ought to forget approximately all approximately this woman & pass on. do no longer look ahead to her, do no longer touch her, do no longer take her lower back whether she begs. Her emotions for you have been in all danger authentic yet they replaced & no rely what, issues isn't the comparable lower back. in case you are able to, be chuffed approximately the six months of happiness you had. a lot of human beings in existence in no way even get that. pass on, do no longer look lower back, be chuffed for her happiness & sometime quickly you will detect a clean love on your existence. i think for you guy. good success.
2016-09-27 23:09:29 · answer #8 · answered by doolin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find a better guy.b4 he dumps u dump him.
2007-01-24 15:17:27 · answer #9 · answered by MM 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋