he continously talks to girls on-line and i always catch him..i even think the jerk cybers with them..i think i'm beautiful and can do better but it's just the thought of starting over...what do you think, head for divorce city or try to work it out???
2007-01-24 14:46:34 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Mel,
Do you give him any reason not to do this? Respect does go both ways and so does romance. If he thinks the grass is greener on the other side of the fence...maybe you need to do something about the grass on this side of the fence to make it greener, but I wonder if you think the effort would be worth it. It seems as if you are already considering that you have a "throw away marriage"
MARRIAGE...HIS DUTIES....HER DUTIES
http://www.shatterdmen.com/Marriage%20%20his%20and%20hers.htm
2007-01-24 21:20:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had to give your questions lots of thought, as I hate to jump to the wrong conclusion. I also hate being a marriage breaker.
In light of the little you have mentioned about your husband:
1. "he continously talks to girls on-line and i always catch him"
2. "i even think the jerk cybers with them.."
I would like you to ask yourself:
1. Is he realy cybering with those girls online? Do not base your judgment on mere suspetions. May be he is only talking to them about matters he does not think you will be enthusiastic enough to listen to.
2. Did you, directly or indirectly, contribute to what he is doing? You said you are beautiful, but being beautiful is not enough. Do you, in a way or another, neglect your beauty by not caring about your looks?
3. Did he ever, in bed, desire certain things you found difficult to consent to? I do not want to go into details... you are a woman and you know what I mean.
4. Does he have a fertile imagination, when it comes to sex, and does not find that his imagination is being met at home, or has he not the courage to open up to you?
5. Has he been cypering, assuming he does, for a long time and do you think he has become sort of an addict, and you think it has become too late to mend the situation.
6. Did you ever think that some men and women alike, when they do not find what they want at home, they look for it somewhere else.
7. How was he before tralking to other girls, or cypering with them. You have to compare between the then and the now.
8. In case of messaging, normally those programs write the dialoguse of the conversation on the HD, if they are configured so. Find out. If his dialogues are verbal, overlisten.
9. Have you ever tallked to him vis a vis regarding this issue, and did he feel embarrased or denied it. Communication is the best way to go.
There are so many things involved and I suggest that you think of them seriously before you reach any decision.
If he is guilty, I am not asking you to forgive and forget, because foregiving in this case would be nothing but agreeing to his perverted behaviour. I only advise you not to be hasty as divource is realy a very bad thing, especially when kids are involved. I do not know if you have kids or not.
2007-01-24 20:23:36 · answer #2 · answered by Aadel 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I believe that your concerns are justified. Judging by the fact that your husband chats with girls on-line (no matter what the context is ...), it would seem to me that he is cheating on you. What is his explanation for his actions? Has he promised never to do this again (only to be caught repeatedly by you)? Is he embarrassed when he is caught? Does he try and hide doing this from you?
Leaving any relationship can be difficult, but also can be very liberating. Starting over doesn't have to be a bad thing. By the sounds of things, you harbour some resentment against your husband (perhaps running deeper than just this whole chatting issue ...). Personally, I would take this as a warning and seek greener pastures. If you have not done so already, talk to those close to you for their thoughts and then make your decision.
2007-01-24 15:00:56 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should start by planning a dinner or something where you have to be alone and have time to talk. Tell him that you are worried about him chatting to girls online and it makes you wonder if he has taken it further. Don't be accusatory and mean, just tell him that it is bothering you and you need to get it out and understand why he is doing this. Tell him that if he isn't satisfied with your relationship, you either need to fix it or end the relationship. Try to be very open and have a good discussion, don't let it deteriorate into an argument. Just try to make a decision that is good for both of you. If he is making you unhappy, it isn't worth it to waste your time with someone treating you badly. However, you have married this man, so give him a chance as much as possible.
2007-01-24 14:54:00 · answer #4 · answered by Amanda D 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Mel,
Like everyone is saying, try first to work things out!
It's a;lways easy to walk away, but, it's easier to see where the 2 of you "stand" before doing anything drastic!
The deal with this on-line stuff, is very popular with some guys! If your Husband thinks he NEEDS to do this then I'd say he doesn't need you! Obviously he wants the attention of other girls! You should try to distract him, you said you're beautiful, well, he married you, didn't he?
Break out some candles, buy one of those "teddies", make a romantic dinner, SEDUCE him at night...........the stuff guys like! Etc., Etc. The possibilities are endless!
If he doesn't WAKE up to those "moves", I would consider separating if he isn't into you anymore! Life is too short Girl!
Try to work it out, YES and see where it leads!
Good luck and make some resolutions of you haven't!
2007-01-24 15:08:00 · answer #5 · answered by julesrules 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As far as you know all the guy is doing is talking to girls on line I don't think that is a good enough reason to end a marriage over. Tell him how much it bothers you and then see where it goes there is always counseling too.
2007-01-24 14:55:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't jump straight to the "leaving" part just yet. I would try and work it out with him. He may have become bored and is now going online for his sexual needs. In a way, it's almost like cheating, but not exactly. A re-love connection needs to happen between you two.
2007-01-24 14:52:34 · answer #7 · answered by Greg S 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If he could see what those women actually look like it would take the thrill away. Alot of those poseing as girls are guys. Hang in there.
2007-01-24 14:56:40 · answer #8 · answered by us citizen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to divorce city.
2007-01-24 14:59:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you should get a divorce and start over you dont need him if he gets online and talks and looks at other people
2007-01-24 14:54:26 · answer #10 · answered by timken_2010 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋