How do I say, No children Please!?

Question

I am getting married this year and I have a HUGE family. I need to cut children out of my invites. I have teenage cousins living with their parents. When I send an invitation to my Aunts and Uncles how can I say your kids can't come? I know I have a few aunts that will assume it will be alright. The person it is addressed to will have a guest check off. Please help me say this in a nice way . In the invitation I say it?

Answer 1

You can say, "Adult only ceremony and reception."
Also, when you choose invitations, DO NOT pick ones that allow your guest to write in a number. Only one that allows them to accept or decline. It is actually quite common not to invite children or teens so don't sweat it.

Answer 2

I am planning an "adult only" reception as well. I also have a huge family and I didn't want a lot of children running around or babies crying. I am inviting some kids because I have two nephews ages 9 and 12, and 4 cousins between the ages of 7-13. All others will be older. I felt that to not have all of my cousins at my wedding (regardless of age) would not be appropriate. Any of my cousins or friends that have children will not be invited (since they are not close to me).

All invites will be adressed Mr and Mrs so and so, or the smith family (if I want everyone there). I was told that if you adress it to just the parents but they respond with 4, you are to call them and politely state that you are having an adult wedding only (regardless if you do have some kids there or not).

I hope this helps.

Answer 3

Is it possible that you could set up a separate party for the kids? If your family members are staying in the same hotel (especially in a block of rooms together), it might be possible to hire a sitter and keep the kids in one of the hotel rooms together. Depending on how long the wedding is, some movies and games could keep them occupied for the length of the wedding. Also, it wouldn't hurt if you would offer to cover pizza delivery/room service/etc. so the little ones could be fed.

Leaving out teenage cousins is a big no-no in my book. Most people choose not to invite children to their wedding because they're worried about unpredictable behavior and tired, cranky kids. Teenagers would not present this problem, and to invite only their parents would be extremely impolite.

Why do you have to cut down your guest list? If it's a matter of space/money, that's understandable. Is it possible to leave other people off the list besides family? Generally speaking, your guest list priorities should be as follows:

1. Immediate Family/Grandparents
2. close friends/extended family
3. Acquaintances/colleagues

I think many of your aunts and uncles may be relieved to find out that they don't have to corral their little ones at your wedding if you offer them a sitter. Again, anyone over 12 should probably be included in the guest list.

Answer 4

I wouldnt put this on the invitation I would put it on the response card and word it like this in small italics print

"an adult affair, no children please"

I have only done this once, and it was for a shower not a wedding, but it didnt matter, some rude girl brought her baby anyway. Be prepared, no matter how many times the hear it or read it someone is going to bring their kids. People honestly look at invitations like this and think "They cant possibly mean MY children" But also, when dealing with teenagers, people may not know if they should come or not because although they are their children, in all honesty, when people read "no Children" they are thinking 12 and under. They dont consider teens children. So keep that in mind too.

Answer 5

"Of course they should simply respect your wishes, but that doesn't mean they all will! Countless brides have confided in me about the unexpected reactions they received from guests who were horrified that they were asked not to bring their children. I mean, this is an opportunity for a couple to have a nice time out without the little ones -- you'd expect them to jump at the chance! I think some of their reaction stems from the fact that many people consider weddings family affairs and think it's a travesty to exclude children. That's all well and good, but it doesn't give people the right to rudely demand that you let them bring their kids! My advice? Have something ready to tell them in case they ask, all the while remembering that it really is out of line for them to question your decision. Don't be afraid to simply say that this is the decision you two and your families made, and keep in mind that it's absolutely your prerogative to have your wedding the way you want it -- kids or no kids.

If you find that this is really a problem -- guests are saying they won't be able to make it if they have to find a sitter (or maybe they're coming from far away and are uncomfortable leaving the children with someone overnight), you might consider having one or two on-site sitters in another room at your reception site to take care of kids during the wedding. That way people can bring their kids and will have the option of checking on them during the party, but the kids won't actually be at your reception."

Answer 6

I honestly don't know how you would say it. Some people say you can put "Adult Reception to follow" at the bottom of the invite, but I think that sounds a little harsh. People are supposed to know that whoever the invitation is addresses to, are the only people invited. I think you might have to get the word out through your bridal party and mom. It's a shame you can't invite at least the teenagers, I was always dying to go to family weddings as a teenager.

Answer 7

there is no real nice way to put it other then this is going to be a adult affair hire some sitters an put them in the hotel where they can watch the kids or in a hotel close where they can play an do things like someone said its a shame you will not invite the teens but then again its your wedding buy them all movie tickets that night of your wedding i don't know but just think in a few years you will get the invite to there weddings an your children will not be able to go i always thought of weddings to be a all age affair two people coming to gether to start a family an yet you are not letting the younger people in your family go but if it is because you know how much people cant handle the booze think of not having it

Answer 8

There is no possible way to tell someone their teenagers cant come to a wedding. Try to see if www.weddingchannel.com has anything on there for that kind of situation. I remember when my cousins got married they did put on their invitations no children allowed at the bottom corner no problem but hey now this is teenagers you dont want there that is a problem. Try to figure it out somewhere else sorry I have never heard of such a thing. WE love our teenage cousins I wouldn't have the heart to do that to them. I am going to have most of my teenage cousins in my wedding and they are so excited. Good luck.

Answer 9

sharaim
New User

Nov 16, 2004, 10:10 PM

Post #1 of 11 (4355 views)
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No Children Allowed - Adult Wedding Can't Post

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I am planning a 5pm wedding in May 05 and a 7pm reception which will last until 11pm. I live in NC and have been here settled for over 9 years and my husband to be is from another country and has been here for 6 years. We are planning the wedding in NC where we live. The majority of the guest will come from out of town. We have decided not to have children in or at the wedding. We want to keep things small and less complicated. I have 11 nieces and nephews and only 3 are over the age of 17. We plan to inform guest that this is an adult wedding and reception and request no children under the age of 17.

Is this rude? I want all the guest to enjoy the ceremony and the festivities. With everyone having to attend to children and worry about traveling with children and accommodations, especially with the time of the event, I fear that may be too much of a demand. Being that my parents will end up taking care of and providing accommodations for my nieces and nephews with the exception of 2.

Am I being rude and inconsiderate? Please help.






TWQadmin
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Nov 16, 2004, 11:42 PM

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Re: [sharaim] No Children Allowed - Adult Wedding [In reply to] Can't Post

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Dear No Children:

Please don't assume to know what will make your guests comfortable in regard to their children since many parents feel more comfortable to have their children with them then to leave them behind with a babysitter. I would invite whomever you like and allow them to make the choice. However, if it is you and your fiance who would rather the kiddies not attend then that is your choice.

If you'd like to make these out of town parents really comfortable, arrange for babysitting either at the home of family or a good friend or at the guests hotel. Once again, allowing the parent to decide if they will utilize that option.

Please speak to your mother about all of this since you are concerned that she will be the one handling the out of town guests.
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Answer 10

You don't outright say it in the invitation. Just clearly print the names of the people invited on both the outer and inner envelopes. Tell your grandparents that no kids are invited; word will spread. It's okay to call people who RSVP for more than were invited also.

However, teenagers (16 and over) are not considered children.

Answer 11

I guess you just come right out and say it. However, if someone invited us to a wedding and it said no kids, we just wouldn't be going. Weddings are for everyone, all ages, to celebrate the couple's marriage. They are meant for family, friends, and the wider community. Children are wonderful to have at weddings; that's where kids get to meet cousins they haven't seen in a long time, they learn how to behave in social circumstances, learn how to dance, be around people of all ages, etc. Didn't you like going to weddings as a child? We all sure did.