Does your toddler throw major temper tantrums?

Question

My little girl is 16 months old and is throwing some big temper tantrums and I don't know how to respond to them. She isn't talking yet (other than gibberish and a few words) so when I kneel down to tell her 'no you cannot do that' she just totally ignores me and continues screaming, kicking, throwing herself to the floor, etc. My hubby and I can't even take her in town with us to a store or out to eat because of these huge tantrums she throws and I just feel so bad. In the stores she tries to run away from us because she wants to be independent and in the restaurants she squirms to get out of her chair and then starts screaming. Does anyone else have a little one like this??? Thanks!

Answer 1

Oh yes, this sounds very familiar. We discovered a great thing to do at home when our normally sweet child falls to the floor and turns into a wailing, back arching howler: Ignore it.

We step over him and carry on. We talk about ANYTHING other than the little person having a total meltdown. We pretend as if it has no effect on us. Guess what? He stopped doing it. It was that simple. The less I intervened the less they occurred.

If our son loses it when we're out to eat, I take him to the car while my husband gets the food packed up so we can eat at home. This is a phase, it will get better. There are seats that you can take with you that go over the high chair at restaurants. It has shoulder straps and closes up like a carseat with an over the shoulder harness, she can't wiggle out of it. Check it out: http://www.onestepahead.com/product/85205/210760/117.html

As far as the shopping goes, my son gets strapped into the stroller with a lollipop or fruit snacks, a sippy cup of something fabulous, no getting out. They get to run at the park, not through Macy's. You practically have to promise to buy them a pony if they let you get one thing accomplished.

I say, "Do one thing with Mommy then we'll do something for you." Sure it's bribery but I'd never get anything done if I didn't play the give and take game with him. I get to browse the shoe department and he gets to ride the coin operated car at the mall. I get to pick up dry cleaning and produce then he gets a balloon. It's been quite effective.

Best of luck my dear, it's a phase. And you can rest assured everyone has been through it. Either they have a child that did it or THEY were the child that did it to their own mother!

Answer 2

Hi Butterfly, when my daughter was a toddler, my sister's daughter was a toddler and I'm sure alot of other toddlers have or are throwing tantrums. Temper tantrums DO vary from child to child. Some toddlers have been "taught" that this is the way to behave if they want their toy while others are taunted by other siblings and have been given this tantrum behavior as a form of getting parents attention that their being teased and yet others just throw the 3 t's 'toddler temper tantrums'. Temper Tantrums should be discussed 1 on 1 with your pediatrician and you should honestly answer your doctor if you want the help reduce this behavior.
Good Luck Butterfly.... enjoy parenting.... it is fun and they do grow up real quick.

Answer 3

I have two daughters and both went through a period of tantrums. A lot of it has to do with the fact that she doesn't yet have a way of communicating with you and throwing a tantrum is her way of doing that. Unless she is in harms way, I would just let her have her tantrum but the trick is that you have to completely ignore her while she is doing it. When she begins to quiet down, pick her up and give her a big hug. As you get ready to put her back down, get down on the ground also and talk to her at her eye level, about anything other than what you were talking about when the tantrum began, this will get her thinking about something else and she will go on with the rest of her day. You will see that she will soon realize that she needs to find another way of communicating with you. Make sure your husband reacts the same way otherwise it wont work.

Answer 4

At home, you pick her up and take her into her room where you sit her in the middle of the floor and walk away. Ignore the cries, yelling and kicking. When she stops getting attention, she'll find something else to do.

In the stores, put her in the cart. If she screams, firmly tell her no. Keep on walking and do your business as quickly as you can. You may have to break down the grocery trip into several small segments.

Also, be sure she's fed, diapered and refreshed (nap time done) before you go out.

Have you noticed her tantrums are cyclic? They happen at around the same time each day? Maybe you need to head her off at the pass with lunch and a nap before she gets over tired and everything upsets her.

Mom of 4 (BTW - they revert to this again in their early teens)

Answer 5

They ALL throw temper tantrums. It is because she can't express her emotions verbally, so she gets frustrated.

At home when she does it, let her throw the tantrum and then talk to her about how she feels. Even though she can't talk, she can understand a huge amount of what you say. Always talk to her when she's calm, never give her attention in the middle of a fit.

In public, give her one warning and then promptly take her home. She'll soon figure out that it's no fun leaving in the middle of something. You'll probably have to forgo eating out with her for a few months.

Answer 6

They ALL do it at one time or another. I had a child that loved to throw tantrums. I would walk away when we are at home. He found that it was really hard to throw yourself on the floor when you have to keep chasing someone to watch it.

The running away in a store happened twice. The 2nd time, I grabbed the child, put them in the car and took them straight home to Dad. I turned around and left again without a word. When I returned, the child was missing me. It never happened again.

Good luck. Just remember to breathe and laugh every chance you get. You will get through it.

Answer 7

Wow, it is like reading about how my daughter was!
Her fits did not improve by the "ignoring" attempts. I decided to turn it around and I began to cheer her on - "Oh kewl, kick harder- ewww nice scream - come on you can do better than that!" stuff like that. When she started thinking I WANTED her to do it , it lost it's purpose for her and she would NOT do it! When I would see the beginning , I would say "Oh boy - we are gonna get to see a fit! How exciting, wait a minute let me get sit down, I don't want to miss anything"- then cheer and "direct". HEE HEE
One time she tried to "try me" with a fit at a lil older age - about 7 and I got the camera out and took photo's like she was at a shoot. LOL
She didn't think I really had film in there and so I showed her the photo's when they got developed (pre-digital days). She is now 20 yrs old and we laugh now when we talk about that! It did not damage her psyche or anything. :o)

Answer 8

It is called "The Terrible Twos" most toddlers go through it, and the best thing to do is to ignore the child and not respond to the behavior. If she actas up in stores or in public don't take her. It took six months before I would take my daughter out again after she threw a fit in a shopping mall and my daughter's favorite thing was to go to the mall and watch the people....she would sit in her stroller sing, and enjoy the sights. One day after about six months of her not going she saw me getting ready, promised she would be have if she could go so I took her, she never acted up in public ever again.

Answer 9

I would try ignoring her little tantrums, It might just be that she is doing it to get attention & then get her way, so next time she does that just walk away don't look at her or say anything to her and she will eventually stop because she knows mom and dad aren't going to react to them!

Answer 10

If you're home, put her in her playpen (drag it back out of the attic if you have to) and leave her there. If you're in a restaurant take her home. This sounds inconvenient, but they don't outgrow it without motivation.