I love her and want her to be my wife, how do I convince her to let me help out with her financial debt?

Question

We're talkin' $9-12,000

I'm twenty-nine, she's twenty-three.

Answer 1

I know this is long but please read!


First I just want to know: How old are you? Do you have a well paying job to help her out with her financial needs? I know breakups are very hard to get over even when you have been together for several years.

I dated a very awesome women with a son whom helped raised and I dearly loved them both for 5 1/2 years and I still miss her very much. I want her back just as much as you want her back. And yes it has been very tough for me to swallow. But I'm trying to stay active and do what I can for myself. But there is not a day that goes buy where I don't think about them. I put my love life on the line for her and her son and put my very best foot foward and went way beyond the 110% to be with them both as much as I can and to help her and her son out in every situation. And when she broke up with me she just threw a bunch of lies and accusations in my face that were totally meaningless and uncalled for. I was extremely hurt. But I've tried everything to get her back and nothing in return.

It has ben very hard for me. But as much as I hate to say that it is time to move on. Nobody like to hear those words and it hurts to hear them as well when all your feelings are gain towards your ex. Break ups are not fair especially when you found the women of your dreams. But please do what is right for you and don't let her get the best of you. Please for me stay strong and try to let it go. It will hurt for a long time but stay active with your friends and family and do what you can to keep your mind active to not remember her.

It will be tough for the first year or so but as time moves on so will you. And everyone will tell you this. I still hurting and not really have moved on but I have to do what's in the best interest for me. And you do the same.

For me and yourself please don't do anything wrong to get your self into more trouble. I am with you 110% on all of this.

I could keep going but I will just keep repeating myself and everyone on here will tell you the exact same thing in just different wording.

If you care to vent more you can email me and I will help you out more. I feel your pain.
Maybe I'm talking about the wrong thing here but if she lets you go just keep all what I told you in mind.

I know I didn't answer your question. But keep in mind what I told you for future use.

Your friend through good times and bad,

MJ

Answer 2

what is the financial debt she has? perhaps you'd best let her learn to be responsible for her own debt or she will end up really taking advantage of you and put you into the poor house.
I'm not sure what your intentions are in that when you take over her debt you also take over her life, and that's not a good thing.

First of all a man needs to be married to a woman in order to combine money and pay off debts they both make together.
sometimes when a man pays a woman's bills outside of marriage it indicates that he wants more than her friendship and in essence holds her hostage till she gives in. That's not good either.

So forget about her financial debt, and think more about what the two of you could bring to life together.

Answer 3

Blue moon has the right idea. Its about the economic stability of your marriage. When you and she discuss how you want to live, how you and she spend money will be very important. Discuss her debt and yours and how you and she will pay it off together. While you're at it discuss the earning balance you and she will be living with and see whether there is an imbalance of power over spending decisions. Love may be all there is, but we live in a relative world where other things seem to be important too. I wish you both happiness and challenges you can meet.

Answer 4

You have a good heart. Be sure that she doesn't get offended by you asking too much. Also be sure that these debts aren't something that could dig you in a whole when you marry. Ever think about that? Love can sometimes be very blind.

Answer 5

Some marriages keep the finance separate.She might be embarrassed to show ya.I guess I would sit and talk with her about future purchases like house cars and then work in to her credit report LOL Good luck

Answer 6

I would offer it. no strings attached...no "well, I did this for you, now you owe me" and let it sink in for a little while. She sounds like she may be independent...which I am sure is something that you love about her...
If nothing else, I am sure that if you get married, it will be easier for her....I think that it is great that you want to help her out! Maybe you just need to give her a little time.

Answer 7

Tell her how you feel and if she feels the same way the two of you need to work together and do what's best for both of you...which includes dealing with her debt so your able to buy a house/car/refrigerator/whatever.

Answer 8

If you love her and she doesnt' want your help maybe she needs to feel independent.

Don't pressure her to let you pay.

I'd just say "Look, I love you with all my heart if you're not going to let me help you financially what can I do for you emmotionally to help you through this"

Sometimes people just want to feel independent and don't think anyone could possibly understand how they feel.

Just be there for her!

Goodluck.

Answer 9

Do you want to marry her just to protect her? How will she ever learn not to do this again if you just swoop in and bail her out. Marry her because you love her, not because you want to help her get out of debt.

Answer 10

i think of the reason that one among those great style of are being so complicated on you is because of the fact which you probably did this for 10 years. that's one among those long term to no longer "get it". it may be thoroughly comprehensible if she did no longer decide to get returned with you, because of the fact she is basically now ultimately attending to be herself....ultimately faraway from the abuse. i think of it is great which you presently see how harm she became by skill of it, yet you're able to ought to stand the certainty that it is too late. Beating your self up for that's going to do you no stable. the suitable present you provides you to her and the babies is to be the suitable ex...and the suitable Dad they might ever wish for. Who knows...i do no longer decide to furnish you fake wish or something, yet basically possibly in case you fairly instruct to them for an prolonged time which you have replaced, she ought to easily take you returned. I do think of it is important which you bypass forward and bypass to the guy treatment and the anger administration classes. instruct to your self and instruct to them which you're desirous to alter for you, on your babies....to boot as for all of us else who might sometime enter your existence. additionally, you desire to to ask for forgiveness to her family. Do it because of the fact they deserve it in case you have been nasty to them. they might or won't determine your apology, yet it is not what apologies are all approximately. Sorry to sound so destructive...yet you will turn "your" existence around without or together with her in it. stable luck to you and congrats on attempting to alter your self.