Ok, I am having a boy... but the dad left me... how does a single woman raise a son?

Question

I don't want to emmasculated him or make him less of a man... will he be ok? My ex and I were trying for a baby, then he met another woman and doesn't even want to see the child.. I am due in the spring..

Answer 1

Well, first off, teach him human values. Next, let him find himself... if he turns out femine, let him be that because he showed you that is who he is (many boys are pushed to be masculine... don't do that to him to prove you are doing good)... let him find himself.. as an invidual

Answer 2

His father sounds like a real winner. You can have this baby and you can raise him all on your own like so many other women do. Make sure that you get child support from the father. If the jerk chooses not to be in this child's life that is his choice. But legally he is financially responsible for him. With that said, you will find a way to do this and you will love your son in spite of it. Why do you think you will emmasculate him? He will be ok and so wil you. I'm not saying this isn't going to be hard, because I know first hand it will be hard as hel**. But it can be done and I know you will do just fine. Once you see that sweet little face you will fall in love with him and any concerns you have about emmasculating him or making him less of a man will just drift right out of your head. Your heart will turn to mush and it's all over from there. Good Luck!

Answer 3

Millions of women do it everyday, and mostly without the fathers' help. Have nothing to do w/this man. He's not mature enough to be a good father. But make sure you get a lawyer for child support. It's not fair that men have children all over the place w/no consequences.
Don't spoil your son. Let him know he can't always have what he wants. Always talk to him, even when he's too young to understand. Hug and kiss him, and when he's a little older, involve him in different activities. Like gardening, kite flying, things that you didn't do, but wanted to. Please, please read to him. Let him know that a whole other world exists when you learn to read. Also, there are organizations you can join for advice and camaraderie, like the YWCA, or a single parents retreat.
As long as he doesn't grow up w/the atitude that everything is owed to him, he should be fine. Good Luck.

Answer 4

Well, the good news is they start off as babies, not as boys or girls. So love him with all your heart. If you have your dad or another trusted male relative nearby, I'd ask him to act as a mentor for your boy. And raise him to be a good and caring man. Mothers are a very strong influence on their sons, no matter the age. You don't have to mention his father. Just make sure he knows who are the positive role models, and create a stable, supportive and loving household for him.

Good luck--

Answer 5

Try to keep good male role models in his life. Uncles, grandfathers, neighbors, etc. When he's old enough, enroll him in sports that he enjoys and the coaches will be good mentors also. Set up play dates with school/neighborhood boys his age. Check into local churches, ymca's, big brother (not sure if that's available when the child has a parent in his life). Read books from the library. I wish you the best of luck. It will be tough but...based on your question and your desire to have a good life for your son, I think you will do okay.

Answer 6

I am 37 weeks pregnant and this has now happened to me for the 2nd time! Both boys, my first is 2 and we werent trying broke up before we found out and he rarely sees my lil man. The one I am pregnant with did the same thing as your situation. Don't worry about him being a less of a man because his daddy left. Raise him to respect and love women basically to be the man his daddy is obviously not!

Answer 7

The world is full of single women and women with husbands who don't get involved with the children who raise boys just fine.

Many presidents are said to have been very close to their mothers.

I raised my children as humans first, while trying to help my sons enjoy being boys and my daughter enjoy being a girl. Genders have a way of kicking in as the child reaches adolescence in spite of mothers as far as I can see.

I think if you raise any gender child to be a human first and be a good example to him or her he/she will become the human you hope that they will. Emphasize values, respect the child, and expect respect from him in return.

If when he is little you just aim to raise a decent, thinking, and respectable human once his gender makes itself a little more known - voila - you've got a decent young man.

Answer 8

Wow, with all of that I can not believe your greatest concern is raising a son. I am a single mom of boys, well young men. I raised them to respect me, themselves and others. I am very proud of how they treat the women in their lives. Having a male role model is important, but you have all the time in the world to worry about this.

Answer 9

i at one point struggled with the same question.
but the best thing is to just show love and play boy games with him.
like ball, trucks etc.....

i would also suggest joining a "playgroup" when the age comes or if you have a brother or male figure in your family to arrange "playdates" with.

but really the boy and girl thing doesnt show about till about 3 1/2 years old so dont worry you got lots of time.


also, as a side thought, talk to the real dad and ask him to step up.

Answer 10

I was raised without a dad I don't consider my self as less of a man. I think as long as he has your love and some male role models around him, your future husbands or boyfriends, cousins, friends, grandfather whatever he will learn how to become a man.

Answer 11

You will do just fine sweetie i have been doing it for almost 5 years now and as soon as you see your little boy of yours you will know exactly what to do. I consider myself very lucky now that "daddy" is not in the picture as i know that my son is growing up with the values i want him to have there is nothing wrong with having a soft gently son it does man them more of a man