The Guys Rules for the Women?

Question

The Guy Rules
>> The Guys' Rules-------------------
>> At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
>>
>> Finally, the guys' side of the story.
>> (I must admit, it's pretty good.)
>> We always hear "the rules"
>> From the female side.
>>
>> Now here are the rules from the male side.
>> These are our rules!
>> Please note... these are all numbered "1"
>> ON PURPOSE!
>>
>>
>> 1. Men are NOT mind readers.
>>
>> 1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
>> You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
>> We need it up, you need it down.
>> You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
>>
>> 1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
>> or the changing of the tides.
>> Let it be.
>>
>> 1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
>> And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
>>
>> 1. Crying is blackmail.
>>
>> 1. Ask for what you want.
>> Let us be clear on this one:
>> Subtle hints do not work!
>> Strong hints do not work!
>> Obvious hints do not work!
>> Just say it!
>>
>> 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
question.
>>
>> 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's

>> what we do.
>> Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
>>
>> 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.
>> See a doctor.
>>
>> 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
>> In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
>>
>> 1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect
us
>> to act like soap opera guys.
>>
>> 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
>> Don't ask us.
>>
>> 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them
makes
>> you sad or angry, then we meant the other one
>>
>> 1. You can either ask us to do something
>> Or tell us how you want it done.
>> Not both.
>> If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
>>
>> 1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
>> commercials.
>>
>> 1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
>>
>> 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
>> Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We
>> have no idea what mauve is.
>>
>> 1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
>> We do that.
>>
>> 1. If we ask what is wron g and you say "nothing," We will act like
>> nothing's wrong.
>> We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides
we
>> know you will bring it up again later.
>>
>> 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,! Expect an
answer
>> you don't want to hear.
>>
>> 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is
>> fine...Really.
>>
>> 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are pre pared to

>> discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
>> or golf.
>>
>> 1. You have enough clothes.
>>
>> 1. You have too many shoes.
>>
>> 1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
>>
>> 1. Thank you for reading this.
>> Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
>> But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
>>
>> Pass this to as many men as you can -
>> to give them a laugh.
>>
>> Pass this to as many women as you can -
>> so they understand.
>>
>>
>>
>>

Answer 1

I've seen these before but I still think they're hilarious!

Answer 2

There is a vast difference between humor and gender specific vilification. Humor can be laughed at by both sexes, whereas vilification is only an insult that one party finds acceptable behavior. See the difference? Apart from the obvious cliche answers it was not too bad, but not too original either, most of these comments have been around since the days of Alan Sherman or even Shelley Berman (1960,s stand-up comedy).

Answer 3

1 more! (haha)
1. Going to watch sports games for us is like shopping (for you of course), completely necessary!
1. Yelling: Oh, he scores! or Touchdown! Are just as important for us, men as it is for you women to talk and squeal about the new pair of shoes that you got at the mall yesterday while your husbands were alone at home.

Answer 4

That is spot on! I can tick every one of them off on the married mans check-list

Answer 5

Ha Ha! Funny. Good points though.

Answer 6

Thnx will definitly pass on

Answer 7

somehow i dont go by the rules you put up.I'm a respectful loving guy and this dude stereotyped our whole sex.He should be shot

Answer 8

i got this in an email the other week its even funnier the second time

Answer 9

Already passed it on, hilarious!

Answer 10

LOL thats a good one