Extreme Depression?

Question

I'm a wife of a soldier and a mother to 1 son who is 10 mos. old. My husband has been gone for 3 mos. and so far I have done well and have had no issues of depression until the last 2 weeks, especially the last 3 days. I thought these types of feelings would have come up sooner. I have had struggles with depression, cutting and suicidal tendancies in the past. I have since been recovered from them and haven't struggled with it for years now. I feel very very scarily suicidal now. I feel like cutting myself. I haven't acted on it, but I feel it and it's such a temptation. I have no idea who to turn to. I'm away from home and I'm so afraid that if I went to a doctor with this that they would take away my son and lock me up in a psych ward. I'm afraid to tell any friend because they've never seen that side of me before and I haven't known many of my friends here for more than a year. What do I do without being treated like I am crazy? I'm scared of the way I feel.

I know that I owe it to my child, my husband and myself to find some kind of help, but I have no idea who to trust. The last time I struggled with this issue I was 18 and I was still put in an in patient facility even though I didn't want to go. I'm afraid of that.

I don't have any family in the state and none of them canjust drop everything and come. I don't even want to know their reactions. The last time I even said I was depressed they flipped out on me and made me feel bad for even feeling that way.

Answer 1

As a mother of two infants, if you've been alone for three months taking care of your son and weren't having problems, I'd suspect you were supressings and worry about you flipping out completely without warning.

That said, yes you need help, and no, from what your saying you can't talk with your family, who should be your best support.

There are several crisis hotlines for people who are suicidal or depressed that are completely anonymous. You should be able to look them up on the internet. Explain what's going on, and why your afraid of getting help. They will probably have some good advice.

From the sound of things you probably need actual counselling. Your best bet is to go to a psychologist. As a general rule they are more familiar with the feeling your describing then a social worker, and therefore more likely to be able to help you, and less likely then a psychiatrist to assume that there is something deeply and horribly wrong that you must be locked up for your own good.

Don't try to find help through work, if you have a job, or the military, if you live on a base. I would not expect a psych or counsellor with the military to be familiar with the single mom stress your dealing with, and most counselling offered by a workplace is very much sub-par.

You need to develop a support network. You need to have someone yuo can call in the middle of the night to cry on their shoulder, or who can come over and watch your son for an hour so you can go for a walk and have time for yourself. You also need to connect with other military wives and husbands who will understand the stress of seperation and 'what ifs' you must be dealing with. I'd suggest starting with a friend who know you can trust in a crisis. Someone who is not easily shocked, and is good at remaining calm in a pinch. I understand being afraid to talk with your friends, I've lost friends because of my problems, and I've had others dismiss them and say, 'you should get on prozac.' Its hard and it hurts, and unfortunately, there is no other way. Humans aren't meant to carry all their problems alone.

I hope this helps, good luck.

Answer 2

If you are living on post or close to one then the troop medical center usually has a list of people for civilian spouses. In some cases they may even be able to treat you. It is good that you have not acted on any of your thoughts. My suggestion is to start putting together a crisis page for yourself with numbers to hotlines and friends. Get yourself an appointment some where ASAP. I know the type of stress that can be caused by the military, life and raising a child, I've been thier too. During the hard times keep reminding yourself of how much your ten month old son needs you in his life. I liked to keep pictures of my kids all over the place and in my wallet. That way I could always see thier beautiful faces when I was depressed.

Answer 3

call a Chaplin or the head of the support group for your husbands ship (sorry my husband was in the Navy). No one is going to look at you like your crazy but you need to get help before you do something to harm yourself. They will not take your son way if get hospitalized but they will let you pick a person that you trust with your child like a friend or your mother anyone that you trust. Besides I'm betting that you want help so you can be there when your son needs you.

Answer 4

Over the last five years I had begun to have increasingly withdraw into a downward spiral of depression..

But now with the method I can fully focus my energy and thoughts into a decisive line on how to make my life better constantly. And it works like magic! I'm beginning to attract people to me once again and things have just been looking up since then.

Helping you eliminate depression?

Answer 5

I don't think they would lock you up in a psych ward for going for help. Is there someone you can trust to help you with your baby if they hospitalize you? The Dr. just may put you on some medications and have you talk to a Therapist. You are not crazy! You have reached out for help. That is good.

Answer 6

if your not suicidal you WILLNOT get locked up especially since you haven't done any self harm yet. if you are suicidal don't you think you owe it to your child to keep yourself safe?
please find a psychiatrist and get some support. i wouldn't go to a family doc and tell them this..they get shook up at psych stuff. go to a psychiatrist.