How much personal info do you have to share?

Question

not to be rude. People at work want to know where my kids go to school, EXACTLY where I live (directions to my door), just everything. I'm a private person and don't want to share my personal life. I know they just want to get to know me but I want my privacy. How can I respond without being rude?

I'm not hiding anything, I just have experienced bad things by giving out info before and don't want to repeat history. I tried vague but they just keep digging.

Answer 1

I would say, "look, I don't want to have to have you eliminated for knowing too much, so just chill."

Answer 2

I think back about 40 years and remember my supervisor who was a 40+ year old spinster (yes, the real stereotype) lady. I casually asked her on Friday what her weekend plans were, and I was attacked.
That in mind, I'd suggest that if you really want privacy, you will probably have to alienate yourself from these people and then they will leave you alone.
I do agree that the location of your house and the school of your children just shouldn't be knowledge offered to strangers. You might consider vague LIES as well. Good luck, your problem is not as easily solved as one might think. My mother was private; we were severely restricted in what contact we could have with neighbors and there were strict rules about what could be said outside of our house. I do think that has adversely affected my life.

Answer 3

Simply tell them you have trust issues, and that over time, you might be inclined ot reveal that kind of personal information, but you just have to work up to it. These days everyone has one issue or another, and people can respect that kind of thing. But when you do it, be friendly, and even after you do it, be friendly. Don't say it like you are drawing a line in the sand, or that there is no way they will ever get past your personal barriers.

Answer 4

I would simply tell them that I don't think they need to know specifics, like where your children go to school. And, if you want them knowing where you live, you'd invite them over for dinner or drinks.

Or, you could always turn it around on them and ask them the same things they are asking you. Make them see how it feels. I find that a lot of people who try to pry private information from you aren't comfortable with dishing out the same info in regards to themselves.

Maybe this would get them to understand how it feels and they'll stop.....

Answer 5

Some people thrive on gossip and unfortunately, I think you found a group that does. They're not going to change from what I've experienced.

The best you can say (repeat it over & over til they get it)...is
"I don't prefer to mix business with my private life." Now they are going to gossip and imagine the worst...either that or you can humor them and give funny info like you are a secret agent or you live at some imaginary place.

I hate gossips.

Answer 6

When my co-workers ask were I live, I just tell them the neighborhood, not even the street generally. I've swapped phone numbers w/ a couple of co-workers, and am truly glad I did not get one guy's number. I've heard he has called another co-worker repeatedly on several occasions. Respond bu asking them the same info of them.

Answer 7

You don't have to share anything. But, that extreme might be rude. Answer the questions with a question, if it is out of context, or be vague.

Answer 8

Maybe by simply saying can we consentrate on work instead because you had a stalker in the past and are not comfortable giving out personal information. And tell them PLEASE dont take it personal its for my kids safety. They should understand. Whether you had a stalker or not who cares they shouldnt ask anymore questions about you which means they shouldnt talk about the stalker. And if they do say I dont wanna talk about it. (it will sounds personal and tramatic. good luck.

Answer 9

People do that to me, too. They DEMAND an answer for my personal business, just so they could use it against me & throw it back in my face or misjudge me. Wow! Those people are asking you dangerous questions.

You can politely tell them, "My personal life is off limits."

Answer 10

just keep giving them general answers (like tell them the town you live in instead of wich street). or tell them your kids go to a school near (your town) and eventually people will get the hint.. you have every right to keep that information to yourself.

Answer 11

I agree with you...you're entitled to your privacy. When someone asks something personal, I remember what Ann Landers advised to respond: "Why?"