I met this guy 10 years ago, who became my boyfriend. He's been a crackhead for 22 yrs. Now, he's been sober for almost a year; he has a great job and makes a LOT of money. He will be moving out in a couple months. He says he has to "see if he can make it on his own." He says he's not breaking up with me. That he'll still be "amenable" to going out to dinner with me, or to the movies once in a while. In the past, he took ALL my money, ALL my jewelry & anything else he could carry out and get money for. Now he acts superior and scornful of me. He's mean and says nasty things to me and acts like he's my taskmaster. He makes sarcastic comments to me and basically is a basta*d. I have no money left, because he stole it all; I haven't spoken to my friends in years because he never wanted to meet them (they had no crack), I took him in when he got evicted and NOBODY else--his parents, his brothers, and friends--would have ANYTHING to do with him. He's dumping me and played me, huh?
2007-01-24 12:17:15 · 14 answers · asked by Iseult 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
awww thats really sad.
im sorry for the position you were put in.
everything will get better soon i promise.
2007-01-24 12:21:10 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I feel bad for you. Well, the first thing I would do is get back in touch with my friends and I hope you stayed in touch with your family. I would take him to cort, but ou say you have no money left and if you lost the case, then you would owe alot of money. It seems you've made a rather large mistake, by dating such an *** whole. good Luck in the future. And Rememeber: Not All guys are like that, I'm sure. Make sure that he knows that hes gone and that dinner and movies sometimes isnt going to happen. Beat him to the finish line and the next time you see him, tell him straight up - It over. Know this- he can have all the money in the world, but by the way it seems he will never be happy. "Cause he will never be loved. And you will carry on and live a happy life and recover and he will die unloved in the end. He'll end up will Crack as his best friend. Someone I knew once said - Once you start a drug, It becomes your best friend. It becomes your family. It becomes your life.
Dont let this ruin your life. Keep going on. You WILL make it thru, dont worry about him. Dont ask any more questions about him. Worry about you, and love yourself. And even tho its not my favorite song, Jessica Simpson's "I Belong To Me" sounds like it would fit in here for you.
2007-01-24 20:31:00 · answer #2 · answered by Dominique-Duh! 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry about the situation you are in, but the only way I can look at this is .. once on crack, it is very hard to stay off of crack. From experience (not my own, but from friends and family members), the user can be off of crack for years, and suddenly go back to using it again. If that happens to him he will be running back to you for help, and in my opinion you should close the door and tell him to keep on going, maybe the next person will be stupid enough to do what you did the first time around, but not you. It may be hard for you, but it has to be done. And if that doesn't happen, what goes around comes around, someone may "abuse" him like he did you.
2007-01-24 20:25:51 · answer #3 · answered by hollier1999 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah sounds like you got taken pretty good--although I know a guy who was taken for 20 grand in one month by a drug abuser so don't feel like you're the only one who has tried to help someone out and got burned.
The mistake you made and that a whole lot of other people have made is that you tried to help someone that was unwilling to help themselves first. If they aren't looking out for number one they aren't about to look out for anyone else.
All you can do is leave the situation because he's just going to keep on using you. You went way above and beyond the call of duty--you tried and that's that. You know what you did was the right thing to try to do so you should have a clear conscience.
2007-01-24 20:33:51 · answer #4 · answered by Mr_B 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Honey, I know it's been a long time, but get out there and make some friends. It's probably not a good idea to get into a new relationship right away; you probably should have some time "on your own," too.
I wouldn't say he played you, and his motive for moving out is probably valid. He's been dealing with life on a crutch (the crack) for a long time. Give him some time and stay in touch with him, but if he turns back to his old habits, don't take him in. He is making his choices, and you need to make yours.
It's time to live your life, and let him live his.
2007-01-24 20:25:15 · answer #5 · answered by markandmandi99 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You may not want to read this, and it may make you angry, but here goes.
You are treated like dirt because you have allowed yourself to be. He has no respect for you because you have no respect for yourself.
You can recover though. Leave him and seek some kind of counseling. You need a good shot of self-esteem and confidence. You need to find the person in you that is worthwhile and deserving of respect and admiration. That person is there, but is hiding behind a big pile of garbage.
Good luck. This will take a tremendous amount of will power on your part, but you will be glad in the end.
2007-01-24 20:26:40 · answer #6 · answered by Tim 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yup. Sorry. Give him a real kick in the a s s and get yourself a new boyfriend, fast. Show him that even if he thinks you're still together, you do NOT, and have no intention of going back. He says he needs to see if he can make it on his own, that this is what he believes, well tell him YOU believe that it's just not right to go backwards in life, and you just can't change your mind about this.
2007-01-24 20:25:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sometimes we don't even know why we do things we do...
As love blinds us deeply...
Know this, his not the momentum that makes this world turns.
It might have been 10 years you've wasted... if you think so... but you've probably learnt something important that not many people can every learn... Patients... Forgiving... and Accepting!
You have a heart of gold, it's time for you to live your life again, not his.
2007-01-24 20:31:38 · answer #8 · answered by calv83luc 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
How long did it take for you to realize this guy is a snake? He'll probably get into more trouble. See if your parents will help you
out, and get away from him for good.
2007-01-24 20:23:58 · answer #9 · answered by Suzie 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
U have already wasted 10 years with this nut bag dont even waste another minute ,pick up whatever pieces u have left and move on .
2007-01-24 20:23:24 · answer #10 · answered by nitenurse 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You sound like a very nice and understanding person who deserves better. You should dump him.
2007-01-24 20:21:59 · answer #11 · answered by DustNik 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋