I am 21 I'm getting married in a couple of months and my soon to be husband (he's 21 also) wants a baby right after we get married, we both love babies but I don't know if that would be a good idea to have a baby right away! being married would it be better to wait since we are going to be newlyweds and enjoy eachothers company first or ?
2007-01-24 11:11:08 · 33 answers · asked by ♥AMO♥ 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Marriage is such a big transition in a young or older adults life, especially when you are younger (only because as you grow older you go through more life experiences!!!), If you can, wait..........Enjoy your time and transition into couplehood. You will grow together, and possibly, apart in many areas, but don't fret, you are two individuals, with different personalities, and opinions (evident from your statement/question, right?)...In any case, give yourselves time to become financially stable, take some trips together as adults, go see the world!!! You have plenty of time to start a family, you are young and in love, so enjoy this time while you have it, then bring the little ones in to enjoy it too!
2007-01-25 07:57:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have wanted a baby ever since I myself was one. I know how your heart tugs at you when you see a baby out somewhere or when you daydream about holding your own child. Let me also tell you that I have been married for 5 years to the most wonderful man and we have not yet had our first child. I would not trade one day of these last five years of being with him and really establishing our relationship. I know that when we do have our first child that the foundation will be strong and we will be better parents because we have learned so much about each other and we can work well as a team. I'm not saying that 5 years is the "magic number" but it worked beautifully for us. Being married is quite an adjustment and learning to "become one" with someone else can be difficult and even painful at times. Having a child so soon will likely take the focus off of forming your marital relationship and put the focus on the child. This may cause problems for you in the future because you haven't had the time to establish the roots of your relationship. Your age isn't really the point it's the youth of your marriage that is the concern. Try to allow yourselves some time to grow together before growing your family. Good Luck!
2007-01-24 11:38:45 · answer #2 · answered by tallgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had my first child when I was 20 and 23 when I had my twins. So I do not think age is the question.
First, how secure are you and your spouse to be? Have you lived together? Do you know each other inside and out? When bringing a child into the world, the child deserve parents who will love and protect them. If you are our husband would face a crisis, do you think that your child would suffer?
Another thing to note is that when parents bring children into the world, generally the sex life declines. How would you or your spouse handle that?
Another thing to consider is how financially secure you are. Babies cost a lot of money. A vaginal delivery without insurance is about $2 - 3,000. C-Sections much more. Then there are Dr. visits, medicine, diapers, formula, etc....
Try this. Offer to babysit an infant for a week - day and night and see how you feel then. Don't feel bad if you decide you are not ready. Be fair to yourselves. You may want to start off with a puppy the first year and then graduate to a baby. Regardless of what yahoo answers says - you will make the decision that is in your heart.
PS I do not regret having my children young. I am only 40 and just a few years from spending many years alone with husband #2.
Good luck
2007-01-24 11:27:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have lots of time to have a baby. Right now I would focus on being married before you become parents. I don't think that you are too young, but you should wait and enjoy your soon to be husband first. Having babies changes a lot in a relationship and you two will wish you had the time alone together before you had children. You also sound like you aren't ready to have a baby; he may be ready but you aren't. It would be better if both of you are ready to have a baby. You are smart to question this, because it is a big step. My advice would be to enjoy your husband before he becomes a father! Good luck!
2007-01-24 12:00:31 · answer #4 · answered by niccichick 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do what is right for you! It is ok for your will be husband to say he wants them he is not the one that has to deal with pregnancy for 40 weeks. Not to mention he will go back to work after the baby is born to leave you minding them all day. Having a baby is a big decision that changes the way you live your life and the way you are going to have to spend the rest of your life!
You are not too young but if you are having doubts then I would say hold off because once it happens there is no going back!
I hope you both have a long and happy life together!
2007-01-24 11:41:00 · answer #5 · answered by Angels are everywhere! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The question is not whether you are too young to have a baby but if you are ready or not and only you have the answer to that.Having a baby immediately after marriage does have its advantages though,for instance it goes a long way in increasing the love which you have for each other and the baby will propel your marriage to a higher level of bonding.But do not have a baby just for the sake of it specially if you feel there is a chance that the marriage wont work.
I must add here that i sincerely hope that you have a happy married life.Best of luck.
2007-01-24 11:31:35 · answer #6 · answered by ytee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you are too young. I had my daughter when I was 21 and I don't regret it. It's really up to the couple. I think if you are not ready then you should let your soon to be husband know. It may make your relationship stronger if you wait. Get used to being a couple before you bring a new baby into the world. It's up to you. Good luck!
2007-01-24 11:28:03 · answer #7 · answered by butterflykisses_1897 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get used to being married first. Take a few years to get to know eachother and get used to the stresses that go along with marriage. When you think that you are financially and emotionally stable enough, try for a baby. Having a baby too early can turn out to be a blessing or a curse.
2007-01-24 11:20:07 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was 5 months pregnant when I got married... we were engaged before I got pregnant but bumped up the wedding date! I would wait a little while to get pregnant! Havin a baby is GREAT but with the baby your husband loses a little attention and I think every husband gets a little jealous... so on top of newlywed problems... especially if you havn't lived with each other you are goin to have to deal with that too!! My husband and I are very happy but I do wish we would have got to spend time together as newlyweds...
2007-01-24 11:21:07 · answer #9 · answered by luvsick143 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I think the best would be to wait a little while first to have a baby.....enjoy each others company as a married couple first and then you can enjoy a baby...remember that once you have a baby it is another big responsibility....
2007-01-24 11:16:03 · answer #10 · answered by mbra 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋