why so many women let themself 'go' after having babies?

Question

i was watching Oprah, the show was about women lost their identity after having baby, they work so hard around the house, they gain weight, lost their goals and ambitions, they just 'fading' into a homemaker, has this happen to you?

Answer 1

If you've ever had a newborn baby, you'll know that there are a lot of reasons.

1. You're exhausted! The baby probably gets you up every 2 hours.
2. You can't find time to shower, let alone put on makeup.
3. You either stay home all day with your child or work and then take care of the child.

I think it's really important as a parent to take time for yourself. For seven months after my son was born, I stayed home with him and I REALLY let myself go. Then I got a job and it really helped motivate me to lose the extra weight, dress nicely again and set goals for myself.

Answer 2

The reason they gain weight is becuase they don't try to lose it. I've had two children and am thinner now then before I had them. I'm willing to bet that they nursed their children and couldn't really diet. But that's still no excuse. You can eat plenty of fruits and vegetables if you diet. They probably let themselves get stressed out, as well, and didn't really care about their looks. They should stop complaining and do something about it. Personally, I lost the weight so I coud feel good and avoid the health problems the plague most of my overweight aunts and uncles. They also let themselves go once married and now have all sorts of heart problems and diabetes. I am at 120 compared to 220 before the birth of my daughter and have never felt better. Tell them to email me and I will be more than happy to give them tips on how to avoid all of the extra calories. A big step would be no birthday cake at parties and no candy when the children have candy. No soda unless it's diet, and even then in moderation. Excercise for at least half an hour everyday. Personally, I use the Firm Calorie Killer. It really works you, LOL. Also, tell them to go for an early morning jog or walk if they can as well because that will help. Running up and down the stairs for 10 minutes helps. Being a homemaker doesn't mean you have to weigh more than normal. That's just a lame excuse.

Answer 3

Not yet. I don't like that statement...that mothers just let themselves go. I think it probably has more to do with the fact that we no longer have TIME to keep ourselves up like we used to. Or maybe we just don't feel the need to anymore. Having a baby changes your perspective. You realize there are more important things in life than money and materials. Maybe mothers don't lose their goals and ambitions, but decide that they want to be there to take care of their baby, not working some job while daycare raises their child. Gaining weight is just a natural thing-it happens with time; though by no means do all moms gain weight. Besides, a homemaker is our "natural" role (like the man's is to bring home the bacon); that is what women have been doing since the dawn of time. Is it really so surprising that we fall into that role?

It is necessary that we DO get a break once in awhile; we need time to just be ourselves and not "mommy". This could be hobbies like scrapbooking, or going to the gym, or sometimes even going to the grocery store all by ourselves. This is where husbands or bf's need to step in. ;-)

Answer 4

the reason that *some* women human beings and many adult males income weight after marriage is only a cultural component. yet also because adult males eat a lot more advantageous than women human beings and once you're married, adult males continuously want you to practice dinner nutrition for them and that's demanding to make dinner on your husband and then watch him eat at the same time as you in user-friendly words have somewhat salad. Now I merely make my husband eat my salads. earlier i become married I infrequently ever ate dinner. @%$^$&!!! i am going to't stand the stereotype that each and every one individuals are fat, lazy and eat quick food for lunch each day. i'm American and that i'm surely no longer fat. in reality, my husband become chuffed that I received somewhat weight when we were given married because i become underweight after being a ravenous pupil for 4 years. Now i'm at an truly healthy weight and protecting that. Edit@ yossarius: adult males are seen? No $#it. i'm seen too and that i do not want my guy getting a gut, both. merely because you're a guy would not recommend you may enable your self bypass, both. Edit@Cassius: So how a lot weight do you imagine I ought to lose? i'm 5'7" and weigh 129. It feels like you recognize plenty about nutrition and well being, so i'm curious.

Answer 5

I'm a full-time homemaker and I have certainly not let myself go. Its the most rewarding job I have ever had, as well as the most challenging. I may not have time to shave my legs EVERY day and sometimes I'm not dressed until after noon, but still, I work out five days a week before my husband goes to work. I do my makeup and hair everyday even if I have nowhere to go. I keep the house spotless. I wear clean clothes everyday. And I do my best to make sure my whole family eats right. There are some women who work full time AND are mommies, so therefore they have to make priority decisions. Sometimes things like buying new clothes, dying your hair, and shaving your legs have to go on the back burner, but I fully believe that its totally possible to take good care of yourself AND your family. She may not look like she did in highschool, but that just means she finally has a life.

Answer 6

It's one of those things that you cannot truly understand unless you've been there. Your priorities change after having kids. Not everyone lets themselves "go" as you say. But to anyone on the outside looking in, especially a single, childless person, it will appear that the new mother is certainly not concerned with shallow details like the latest trends or fads. Did you also notice that although it may appear to YOU that there are some weight issues, for the most part, couples w/children are extremely happy?

Answer 7

I did let myself go for a little while, it's hard to brush your teeth or even function on any level when you have a newborn. Once my son became a little more independent I was able to have clean hair and focus a little more on my own health and sanity. Also, once that kid could run-I lost almost all of my baby weight chasing him! I think I haven't just "faded" into a homemaker, I've transitioned from a young married childless woman into a master of juggling tons of duties ;)

Answer 8

While I understand that many women feel that they lose their identity, many of us feel that we gain a whole new identity! As I've gone through the different stages of my life, I've labeled myself many different things--kid, teenager, highschool student, girlfriend, college student, college graduate, employee, fiancee, wife, and now MOM! While some of these new labels meant that I had to give up an old label, I know that I put a lot of thought and time into making each decision.

So no, this has not happened to me, and I hope it never does. I'm looking forward to all the other things I'll continue to become new things--a pee-wee soccer fan, PTA member, grandparent, and more.

Answer 9

NO NO NO! I actually worked really hard and lost 17 kgs in 3 months, (all babe fat!), i attend uni, church, playgroups and get out every day and just be Becky, not always Jude's mumma. i really feel for the women that get like that, but i could not wait to get my body back and do all the things i enjoy that make me fufilled and a better mum to my son, and one in the oven. however, my hubby is really hands on and i have a huge close family so we are really supported and can leave our son for a couple of hours no worries. that makes a difference i believe.

Answer 10

Are you a guy? Just wondering. Having a child is a HUGE responsibility and normal mothers don't have time to exercise constantly and put make-up on and fix their hair while caring for a child (or more than one) and work and keep order in the house. I seriously doubt you are a mother.