What is the proper way to address an invitation for a couple living together?

Question

My live in boyfriend received a wedding invitation from one of his closest friends addressed to "Bob Smith and GUEST". I believe that this was completely inappropriate and should have been addressed to Bob Smith and Mary Johnson!!

These "friends" are very well aware that we live together and also aware that I already feel that they have no social skills - especially the one and only time I went out with this couple they smoked cigarettes in the car without even asking me if I minded (I am an ex-smoker and now have severe asthma and breathing problems).

I dont want to go and kind of want to tell my boyfriend to go with GUEST>>>>>

Answer 1

Shannon, I'm sorry for the terrible answers that you've gotten thus far.

Etiquette says that if it's a couple living together romantically, you address the envelope to both people. According to most reputable etiquette books, the invite would look one of these ways:

(Outer Envelope):
Mr. Theodore Adams
Ms. Shannon Smith
555 Main St
Anytown, CA 98222

(Inner Envelope)
Mr. Adams and Ms. Smith

If your name came first in the alphabet, it would be the opposite:

Ms. Shannon Adams
Mr. Theodore Smith
etc.

And in either order, there would be no "and" because you are not married.

This is the CORRECT way to do it. Anything different is a deviation from what is proper. Sounds like they didn't even bother to look it up. They'll probably have a cash bar and a money dance, too, so make sure to bring your pocketbook. I don't think it's petty at all to be perturbed. There is too little formality anymore in weddings and in life. Two extra words could have at least made them appear thoughtful. Sigh.

Answer 2

BS on automatically addressing correspondence to a couple in the man's name because he is the "head of the household." Both members of a couple are the heads of their household, especially if they're both wage earners. A man doesn't automatically have more authority to represent the couple.

They should have addressed the invite to:

Mr. Bob Smith & Ms. Mary Johnson
1313 Mockingbird Lane,
Anytown, Statename 123456

The "and Guest" is a subtle slight on their part, unless they haven't seen the two of you in a very long time and are covering their a*ses in case the two of you aren't still together.

I say, go to the wedding, get good and drunk at the open bar, down a ton of cake, and have a good time anyway.

Answer 3

The outside envelope should have been addressed to the head of the household. (I.E. Bob Smith) And on the inside, both of your names should have been written unless they didn't want to invite you. They may have forgotten your last name and have felt embarassed if they got it wrong on the outer envelope.

Outer Envelope:
Robert Smith
000 Clear Lake Circle
Anytown, USA

Inner envelope:
Bob and Mary

The outer envelope is typically more formal and the inner envelope is more friendly and casual. There's not much you can do about it except accept the fact that these people - that you only went out with once - maybe couldn't remember your name or didn't know if you and "bob" were still together or not.

Answer 4

one factor to bear in mind is that the internet is full of people who basically make stuff up. a number of what i've got learn weddings makes my head spin. Mr. and Mrs. Smith and family is fantastic for the mum and dad and any youngsters below the age of 18. After that, they are meant to get their very own invites, whether they stay at homestead. on the outer envelope for single people, it is acceptable to hide this one on the rsvp card. (i assume you have one, alongside with a self addressed return envelope). you're able to write interior the guy's call, and then placed customer with a sure or no. and then finished food or something. there is various those on line to get top wording in case you prefer. you're able to additionally try this with "plus family". whether they have 4 youngsters, it would not advise they are going to deliver them, or that absolutely everyone can come. you're able to need an truly final customer count extensive style. that's the style you get it. And Ms is fantastic.

Answer 5

This is your Live-In's closest friend! There was nothing wrong with the way they addressed the invitation.

Would you have preferred the way I would have done it
Bob and Mary Johnson or Mary and Bob Smith?

And as for smoking in the car, why didn't you nicely ask them to abstain while you were in the car?

You do get your live-in's best friends right along with him.

Answer 6

Maybe they didn't know your last name. How do you address something to Bob Smith and Mary? That looks a little worse.

Answer 7

Whoa...bitterness...considering your response, no wonder they put "guest"...maybe they were hoping he changed his mind about you. In any event, to answer your question...if they are his friends than the invitation was entirely appropriate. They are inviting him and a guest, most presumably you, however, do you know how difficult it is to remember everyone significant other when doing invites...relax...I'm sure it wasn't meant as a personal insult.

Answer 8

Unfortunately this is how invitations are addressed if you and your b/f aren't married. Even though they know your name and know that your living together. They are his close friends and he was invited and therefore you are going with him as his guest. Why not forget about it and just go and have a good time?

Answer 9

Yes, they should have included your name on the invite, knowing you two were living together. However, don't let them get the best of you...go, have a good time, and be sure to walk up to each of them and thank them for inviting you to the event.

Answer 10

Mr. John Smith
Ms. Jane Doe on the outside envelope on the inside envelope you simply put
John and Jane