What would u do in this situation??

Question

I have just found out that i am pregnant by a guy i had a stupid one night stand with. I used to work with this guy and one night we just got a bit carried away. Anyway, i know it was a mistake. Since that night we havnt really spoken, and i have relocated due to work (from dublin to london)-not because of him. The thing is, while i know i am morally obliged to tell him he is going to be a dad, im not sure whether or not i should. I doubt i will be seeing him again and i dont think he will want a baby. Not that its my place to decide whether he wants to be a father or not. I am financially secure enough to take care of a baby by myself so thats not the issue. I really just dont know how to handle this situation at all. I need some impartial advice. Girls, how would u act in my position? Guys, if u were this guy, would u want to be involved? Only serious answers please!

Answer 1

its good that u are financially stable and all that but if i was in that guys situation (i'm not a guy but u no...play long lol) i would want to know that i was a father, its better he hears it from u now than twenty years later from the child who thinks that he was a jerk that didn't give two ***** about them. you don't have to marry him or anything like that but i think you should at least tell him, he might want to be involved you never really no when it comes to men lol. So my advice is that you find out where he is, arrange a time to meet or go somewhere or something and then tell him. don't make it sound like you are dropping a burden on him because children aren't burdens make it sound like you are capable of looking after the child but you thought he should no and that he is welcome to help you out or come visit or something, this is what i would do if i was in your situation, but i'm not so what you say to him is really your decision hope that helps

Answer 2

You said it yourself, you dont really know this guy well enough to know what he thinks/wants. Personally, i would tell him for moral reasons. As far as your go I'd say; If you don't mind the possiblity of him wanting to be in your babys life you should tell him & let him make his own choice. If he says no...well then its his loss and you dont have to always wonder what you kept from him/ your child. Also, someday you child may want to find him and it may aviod some hard feelings between you and your child if it dosent come out that you didnt give the father the chance to know his child and visa versa. Then if the father says he isnt intrested in being a Dad you atleast know where you stand.

Answer 3

It depends on the guy if he wants to be involved. What I would do, if I were you, would be to tell him, and them let him know that you are perfectly capable of taking care of the baby urself. and you don't expect anything form him. If he wants to be involved, you should let him, you may never know, he may turn out to be a great father figure. Then again, he may not. but the right thing to do is to tell him. let him make his choices. Tell him no hard feelings if he chooses not to take part. chalk it up as a learning experience. good luck!

Answer 4

Tell him. You owe it to your baby to be able to say, I told your dad. Whether or not he wants to be involved in your child's life is his decision right? You might be surprised? You might not be, but you'll never know if you don't say anything to the guy.

You also might feel very different once the baby is born, how will he feel then if you decide you HAVE to tell him? He'll be like, why didn't you tell me sooner? Takes courage, but what have you got to lose? Good luck! Glad to hear your going to have the baby, and con grads!

Answer 5

I definitely think he has a right to know and should be involved, not only financially, but socially. I would tell him for sure and let him know you are financially secure, that you just want to inform him, not that you are trying to MAKE him pay for anything. Then ask if he wants to visit his child and stuff like that. Hope everything works out. God bless!

Answer 6

Congratulations for one. A child is a blessing and I am glad to hear you want it and to take care of it. Next you do need to tell the guy. He needs to know that you are pregnant, it is his right. Even if he does not do the right thing at least he will know and your child will know that you did tell him. I am sure that he will be scared but in the end at least be a part of the child's life. And your child deserves to have their father in their life.

Answer 7

He has a right to know that he has fathered a child and you have NO right to keep that information from him. If he doesn't want to be a part of the child's life then that is his choice. I would insist on keeping tabs on his whereabouts though, for the child's sake. Your child might want to get in touch with Dad later in life, OR you might need to get some of Dad's bone marrow or something else should your child get in medical trouble someday.

Answer 8

Really your baby didn't ask to be brought into this world and you really should try to put the baby first. Unless the guy is abusive or a real jerk, you should try to find a way that your baby can have a relationship with its father, or the child could hold it against you later for denying him or her of a father's love.

Answer 9

If I was in your place I would tell the man. AND if he doesnt want anything to do with you or the baby take care of your child your self alot of women are doing that now! Dont let what he says Cloud your judgement though

Kimberly

Answer 10

I think you should probably tell him. If you don't expect anything from him as a father, then you could probably also tell him that... but he might want to be involved in your baby's life, and I think that's basically a right he has as the dad (unless he's a crazed psycho)..