how do you get the message across to a guy that you dont like him?

Question

i mean, as a friend and everything. this guy keeps following me around who thinks we're friends, n he bugs the heck out of me. but whatever i do, i can not get him to know that i dont WANT him there! how do you let him know (in atleast a semi-nice way?)

Answer 1

Tell him

Answer 2

You do it actively, and passively, in multiple stages.

STAGE ONE: Polite brush-off

Actively say to him, one day (ideally with nobody else around) when he wants to do something with you, or go somewhere, or just "hang out": "No, I don't think so. You seem like a nice person, but I'd rather not." Passively, don't go out of your way to spend time with him.

STAGE TWO: Polite but firm.

Actively say to him, one day (ideally with nobody else around) when he wants to spend any time with you at all: "You know, you're a nice guy, but I really don't enjoy spending time with you. I know that sounds harsh, and I'm sorry, but we're just not particularly compatible." Passively go out of your way to keep conversations short and interactions few.

STAGE THREE: Firm and final

Actively say to him, the next time he's overstaying his welcome, and when nobody else is around: "I've tried to be polite, and I've already told you this, but you haven't gotten the message, so I'm going to have to be blunt and direct: I don't enjoy spending time with you, and I don't want to spend time with you. I'm sorry, but I can't change the way I feel, and that's all I have to say." Passively, avoid him, not to the point of your own inconvenience, but don't be afraid of him realizing you're ignoring him.

At some point, during one of these three stages, he'll ask what he's "done", or how he can change, or what's "wrong" with him; don't debate particulars, because that will give him hope. Just say "There are a lot of people in the world, and not everyone likes everyone else. There's nothing specifically wrong with you, nothing you did and nothing you could change to 'fix' this. I just don't enjoy your company."

The thing is, no matter how much you sugarcoat it, at some point he has to realize you don't want him around, and that will always hurt. By being direct (albeit politely at first) and doing it with nobody else around, you'll be respecting him -- but you can't avoid hurting him, most likely.

Or, in stage one, he'll say "eh, works for me" and walk away and you'll never see him again. Be ready for that, just in case; he may not be as hung up on spending time with you as you think.

Answer 3

You just got to be staight up with him
Tell him yeah your nice and all but i just want to be friends
no relationships
he might take it okay or he might become miserable but the world just works that way and he'll get over it

Answer 4

Stop beating around the bush and just tell the guy you don't like him.

Answer 5

To be honest with you, just tell him that you don't like him and is not interested in him at all publicly.Do you have the gut to do that?

Answer 6

tell you are not trying to be mean, but you and him don't have the same interests and that you'd rather him not hang around you socially, and to please stop following you around as this is very annoying

Answer 7

Write him a LONG nice letter.

Answer 8

You really can't be nice. Just tell him. Or if you can't just find other things to do that can't include him.

Answer 9

avoid him in a nonsubtle way and if he still doesn't see tell him straight up be,
" i don't like you hanging around me"

Answer 10

sounds like the makings of a stalker there.