My ex boy friend is in prison for trying to kidnap me. He couldn't handle the breakup and started using drugs. This was over a year ago and now he is writting me. He seems like he is doing better and getting the help that he needs. But how do I know if this is prison promises or the real thing. Can a person really change and if so how will I know?
2007-01-24 10:28:02 · 20 answers · asked by brigitty1 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I don't believe a person can change Completely.
Sayings show that you develop most your personality by the time you're 5.
Small changes occur a lot.
But to change something really big..I think it rarely happens.
2007-01-24 10:33:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suspect that your ex-boyfriends problems have little to do
with you and more from some very serious problems that
probably started a long time ago. He will need some intensive
re-hab to deal with all this and I would stay as far away from
him as possible. Prison is not the best breeding ground for
growth on any level. It's a violent and degrading atmosphere.
To try and re-connect with a kidnap victim is an indication
that there have been no changes in him. He's just lonely
and incredibly selfish to try and rope you back in. No contact
is the only contact you should be considering.
.
2007-01-24 18:42:06 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A person can change, absolutely. But that change should come from within, and should be for the sake of becoming a better person. It should be an internal thing, and it should be with the acknowledgement that he was truly flawed before. It should have nothing whatsoever to do with getting you back; in fact, true change in this case would only come by cutting himself off from you for good, as an acknowledgement to himself that he has to accept the fallout from his own misdeeds and start over with a clean slate.
On the other hand, If he's making promises to you that he's changed, he's not changed at all; he's just trying to convince you (and himself) that he has, so that he can get you back. RUN AWAY.
2007-01-24 18:42:41 · answer #3 · answered by daveowenville 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes a person can change, but usually they will not. I would not wait around to find out because if his mind is warped enough to kidnap you then I am sure it is warped enough to do more harmful things. Say you gat back with him and it did not work out again. This time would he try to kill you?? You are a smart girl you know what is right. Good Luck!
2007-01-24 18:36:27 · answer #4 · answered by Darling girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah people can change but some take longer then others. He may say I'm trying to do better but you'll never know until you try it right?? It might be a risk but that's a risk that you have to take if you want to know if he's changed or not. You can continue to talk to him and see how's he's been but just make sure before you decide if you want to see him or not......be safe
2007-01-24 18:34:23 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He might experience a change of attitude because of the traumatic experience that prison is. But as far as changing and becoming someone else, not going to happen. No one changes, we are what we are since we become adults to the day we die.
2007-01-24 18:33:39 · answer #6 · answered by Camilo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u will know by their actions, not by their words or by their promises. just be careful, men make alot of promises in prison that they really can't keep. there are all kinds of excuses for drug usage, and i guess not being able to handle life is one of them, just be careful, don't immediately trust everything he says. wait awhile after he gets out u will be able to see where his life is going by his actions, the friends he keeps, and if he continues to use drugs.
2007-01-24 18:37:54 · answer #7 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he tried to kidnap u hello what are u thinking u shouldn't be talking to him at all u are the reason why he is in prison so move on and find someone else
2007-01-24 18:33:56 · answer #8 · answered by daytona_girl18 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1st trust your intincts... they were right the 1st time... never doubt that.
Is it possible to change.... in this case and when it concerns you...my opinion only... not enough to ever believe or feel safe to even be acquaintances.....
will he so that he can lead a normal life and one day have and maintain a good relationship with a woman... we will hope so
2007-01-24 18:39:03 · answer #9 · answered by carenffb 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
people can really change, but i would be very carefully with what you are doing and what ever you do next, always make sure a friend knows just in case you go missing
2007-01-24 18:33:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋