Concern with my father n law?

Question

my husband comes from divorced parents. my parents are still married. When we go to see my inlaws, we have to accommidate my mother n law and father n law to see our son (2yrs old). My father n law is suffering from servere back pains, he at times wakes up feeling bad, he can barely get out of bed. He can't seem to do heavy lifting. He has retired, because of his back. My husband does not have a relationship with his dad, because his father left his family for another woman. My concern is that i don't mind my father n law seeing our son, but i don't want him spending the night, we don't know when he wakes up feeling bad. I am just concerned for my son, he is more active. His new wife takes off to help him spend time with his grandson. my question is if he wakes up feeling bad, she is gonna to have to attend to my father n law, I am thinking it may be to much for her to handle. I rather him just go for the day and night for the night. How do i get my husband to understand????

Answer 1

you are denying your child the right to know its Grandfather
you are in the wrong

Answer 2

OOay,if I understand this correctly,
you shoudl just tell your hubby and in-laws that you don't want you son to be a burden. And, like someone else said, they will enjoy him more when he is feeling well.
I know that some in-laws want "equal time." So, tell your fil that you can bring him over two days or whenever he calls and asks that your son come over.
Also, include him in activities at your house, if that is possible: t therethen, his wife acantake care of him and you can take care of your son.
It is a bit too early yet, but when he is three/four/five, your son will start to have interests. Find something that just he and his grandfather can or will do together.
They will make GF(grandfather) and son feels special.
Then, they will have their own time.
And, your son would never have to spend the night, as long as GF has a special time and place in tyour son's life.

Answer 3

Just tell him that you feel uncomfortable w/ the situation. My husband & I have a agreement that when one of us is uncomfortable w/ something we just dont do it. I think it is often a mothers intuition that helps us see things sometimes the men dont, kwim? I personally do not let my daughter (5) stay anywhere even at Grandparents unless of emergancy

Answer 4

Maybe you can put it to him in a way that he would understand that it may be a risk to leave your son with your father in law and that you are concerned for your sons welfare.

Answer 5

its common sense that a man in the condition of your father in law doesnt need to have your son overnight even if the wife is there she will most definately help her husband before caring for your son and if she cant give your son 100% attention then he doesnt need to be there overnight

Answer 6

Take him over when the grandfather is feeling well. Make sure they understand that you don't want your son to be a burden, that they'll enjoy him more if they're not in pain.

good luck

Answer 7

First of all you might want to edit that, it took me like 3 reads to figure out what you were saying. I still don't really have it. Is your father n law going to you are is your kid going to them or what?

Answer 8

Just tell him. There's really nothing you can do to sugarcoat your feelings about him coming over. He'd have to understand about his condition and about how much energy will be consumed from your 2 year old.

Answer 9

A two year old is a little young to be going on overnights anyway. Take your son to visit and then take him home with you.