My mother-in-law is about to drive me crazy! She is hot and cold with how she feels about me. That's no secret. What I don't understand is how she can be that way with my children. My husband has stood up to her, but it won't do any good. She just won't budge. He told her today, by letter, that if she couldn't accept me and be nice and normal to our kids, then he wants nothing to do with her. I've NEVER asked him to choose between his mother and me, but it seems like that's what has happened here.
Is it wrong that I'm happy with what he did?
2007-01-24 10:00:46 · 5 answers · asked by Beth 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Missingora...after seeing what she's done to our children, personally, it was just the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back. We've tried everything short of family counseling. She'd NEVER do that. She'd self-combust if that were ever mentioned. Trust me. Plus, we've recently moved 4.5 hours south of where she is, with my husband's job promotion. How is she still able to get under my skin, then? Lovely thing called the telephone, e-mail and cell phone. WHY did I give her all of that new information? Guess I'm stupid. I thought that things might get better if there was some distance between us. Boy, was I wrong!
2007-01-24 11:19:08 · update #1
No it's not wrong.
Sounds to me like your husband has a back bone to stand up to his mother. You should be proud!
Very few men are brave & secure enough to tell their mothers whats-what
Congrats!
2007-01-24 10:13:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I would not say it is "wrong" but I would say it is very sad. Any time a family has a breach that threatens to separate parent from child, in-law against in-law, grandparents against grandchildren, it isn't a happy situation. I agree that it was good that your husband saw his duty as being supportive of you but it would have been so much better for everyone if there could have been a dialogue among all adults involved in this situation. If he stops communicating with his mother, there will not be a happy ending to this story. Is it possible for all of you to back off a little bit; rethink the situation and look for the root of the problem and then suggest a meeting to discuss a more positive way to deal with the issues? I hope so. There is so much unhappiness in this world and none is sadder than to see families at odds with each other.
2007-01-24 18:14:54 · answer #2 · answered by missingora 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First of all place great emphasis on the fact that you do not want your husband to end his relationship with his mother........just so that you can rid yourself of possible resentment from him in the future.
Meanwhile, your Mother-in-law is more than likely suffering a hormonal/chemical imbalance.
Handle her with indifference........if she likes you fine, if she doesn't, that's fine too. Do your best not to say bad things about her to your kids (this is to protect yourself later)
If your husband and you have a good relationship that's all that matters. Life is short, it's just to much of a waste of time to try and figure someone else's feeling out, or use your energy to be angry.......she's sick....
The reason you're happy with the decision your husband made is because you feel justified, supported and loved. Still, you don't want to see your husband hurt either. Tell him you'll be supportive in whatever he does. Maybe suggest that he has one on one visits with his Mom........short visits.
Good luck
2007-01-24 18:58:59 · answer #3 · answered by veronicazombie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, I can totally understand wanting to protect your children, so if you mean by "hot and cold" she could be hurtful and harmful to your kids, then your husband has done the right thing, and you should be proud of him, because it's probably very hard to take that stand with your own parent. I don't think being happy is appropriate, maybe relieved or proud, but happy sounds just a wee bit vindictive if ya know what I mean.
2007-01-24 18:11:16 · answer #4 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No, He should do what he did. His first priority now is you and his family. Mom is great on her own and if that is how she wants it., then that is how it needs to be. If I were you, I would give your husband a big giant kiss and thank him for loving you all as he does. Mom seems to be jealous that you are his number one and she is now getting attention only for behaving badly, Just like a child. I hope you will be happy without her.
Tracylyn S.
2007-01-24 18:12:49 · answer #5 · answered by Tracylyn S 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋