I'm a junior in college, and live in the dorms. My boyfriend is 26 and has a career of his own. Problem is, we live about an hour from each other. He's only come to stay at my dorm once, he has a bad back and then bed's aren't great. But I've driven to his(our) house almost every night this year, and wake up at 5 am every morning to drive back to my school. I didn't want this to become an issue, but he keeps promising me that he'll come see me. And then a few hours before I'm expecting him, he calls and explains how tired he is. I don't want to force him to see me, and he always says that he feels like a bad boyfriend. But we've been dating for almost a year now, and I don't want to be the only one driving. He hates going out, but once he's out and about he's fine. He just likes staying home I guess. So I'm confronting him tonight about it, any ideas as to what I should say or do? I really want to see him tonight....I just don't want to give in again though.
2007-01-24 09:51:49 · 8 answers · asked by rosesaremaroon 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Add- He wants to be with me. He's been in love with me for years, and used to try and spend every minute with me. He knows I don't like driving down there that often and feels bad for it. It just feels like after we started dating he hated driving up here. Not because of me but because of the dorm itself. I just don't have anything else I can offer, besides meeting him halfway to go to a movie and such. I just need Ideas of what to say....that's where I'm stuck.
2007-01-24 10:15:35 · update #1
Sounds like an unfair relationship, and that he expects you to do all of the work while he sits around. Sorry to put it like that. I would have to wonder how committed he really is to you. The driving back and forth the way you are could possibly affect your performance at school.
Confronting him sounds like a good way to go, but you must be assertive in what you say to him. The other way to go is to not visit him for a while. He'll eventually start to wonder why he hasn't been seeing much of you and drive up to see you.
2007-01-24 10:02:42 · answer #1 · answered by Licia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be sincere about it,but don't sound like you are being controlling. Say ' honey I realize how tired you are,but can this weekend,can you try to stay with me?',rationalize,how it's become slightly tiring,and that his effort would mean alot to you.
But if the house is both your's and his',why are you in the dorm? Have you two ever talked about,moving in or anything?
2007-01-24 17:59:58 · answer #2 · answered by Ellie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make week-ends yours. All that driving can't be good for your studying and sleep. Maybe he doesn't feel so comfortable at the dorms seeing he is a grown man, and doesn't say anything so as not to hurt your feelings.
2007-01-24 18:00:54 · answer #3 · answered by rhonda y 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You seem to be putting all the effort in seeing him. Why should he drive to see you when you're always the one who changes your schedule for him? Plus he makes excuses not to come and breaks promises? Is that really what you want in a relationship?
2007-01-24 17:59:10 · answer #4 · answered by Tiger by the Tail 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems to me like your so called boyfriend might be taking advantage of you, You give in and do everything to make your relationship work like doing all the driving, if it is going to work youn lady it takes 2 and you each hav to give at least 50% to make it work, you should stop kissing his butt and see what he will do for you once
2007-01-24 17:59:01 · answer #5 · answered by BBFAN 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him a chance to miss you. He got used to have you be the one that does all the work, so simply stop visiting him for a bit and if he really loves you and misses you, hell come see you.
2007-01-24 17:56:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Question is.... Do he really wants to be in a relationship with you? There only so many hints you can give a person.
2007-01-24 17:58:07 · answer #7 · answered by Kewee 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just quit doing all the work, he'll come around.
2007-01-24 17:56:58 · answer #8 · answered by summit_of_human_intellect 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋