My bf's parents do not speak english too well, they are chinese. Over the weekend my bf got mad during a dinner with me and his parents. after we got upstairs he started lecturing me about how i dont talk to his parents... (i answer them when they try to talk to me in english but i guess he wants me to start up a conversation or something..) its especially hard when i dont know what the hell they are talking about in chinese and sometimes his dad is moody and yells at his mom.. and he expects me to say after that "oh so how are u feeling today?"akward?? and his dad just got back from the hospital and puts his head on the table and starts shaking and he wants me to say "oh so how was the stay at the hospital? or something like that. he says i am full of excuses but to me its true. i am a bit uncomfortable because i dont know chinese and because i am also not a people person, but all these things bundled up together doesnt make it easier. what do i do? do you think he is being unfair?
2007-01-24 09:50:58 · 3 answers · asked by japzkyootipie 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
i am japanese, born in japan and have us citizenship.. i guess i am more americanized but i do know about the respecting the parent thing... because my mom is all about that...
2007-01-24 10:08:37 · update #1
This is a lesson that many people don't learn until after the marriage. Feel fortunate you have learned it before you committed to him. it would seem your so-called-bf is a little intolerant and really doesn't respect you. if he did, he would understand that language thing being a problem as well as lack of common interests etc. He is worried more about how you treat and talk to his parents and litle concern for his parents opening up to you. It's a two-way-street. But unfortunately...cultural differences can feed a failed relationship. Time for you to review your relationship...is it time to move on? I think so....hope you do too.
2007-01-24 10:31:48 · answer #1 · answered by westfield47130 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you of the same cultural background as they are. If not, you have a lot to feel uncomfortable with. First off is the Chinese culture is highly parental respectful and the generation your young age in American culture is so far apart from the way the Chinese generation deals with their parents, that if you are not willing to learn and engross yourself into acting in the ways of the Chinese culture in dealing with his parents, you may want to rethink this relationship, or just keep dealing with it the best you can. Your choice, but it seems like you come across as a person who has some cultural differences?
Tracylyn S
2007-01-24 10:02:38 · answer #2 · answered by Tracylyn S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's showing his ignorance and tell him you don't have the time or patience for someone like that in your life.
2007-01-24 10:03:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋