how do i get over feeling guilty?

Question

I've got a 2 1/2 yr. old precious little girl and another baby due around her birthday. I feel very guilty in it's self for that but also she's been my ONE and only ( and her great daddy too) for 2 1/2 yrs. I'm a stay at home mom so we have a lot of cuddling in the mornings and one on one all day long. How do i share the love?

Answer 1

I had the same issue, when my second was born. In fact, it became the sore spot for me when I had a mild case of the baby blues after the baby came. For about two weeks, I would actually collapse on the floor crying, thinking I had ruined my older child's life. Anyway, my older and younger are GREAT together. It's going to be SO good for her to have a little playmate. There will be more than enough room in your hearts for the two of them. I know it's hard to believe you can love someone as much as you love the first, but you will. There might be a little jealousy, but don't make too big a deal out of it and things will be fine. If you dramatize it too much, it will escalate. It will be great.

Answer 2

I was worried about that several years ago. My daughter was 22 months old when I had twin boys. It is hard when you have a newborn that requires so much attention. There were days I felt I hardly paid any attention to her with twins. So I tried to take her to grocery store alone when my husband got home from work or he would take her to the park alone. It didn't stop me from feeling guilty. But you know what I knew I did the best I could do. She is now an adult, independent and happy, with a baby of her own. She is a great mom and we are so very close! All you can do is do the best you can do. It will be fine, you will see. Good luck and congratulations on your new little one.

Answer 3

Well, Ive had to go through this too. Times six.

For the first time, my oldest son and I were very close, lovable days, easy sleep filled nights. After him, I had twin girls. I was thinking that I had ruined his life. But the first time he saw them, he said "mommy, thank you for having me two petty sisters to play with". It made me so happy. He loves every bit of them. When I got pregnant for the third time, I was a bit more reassured, but still worried. I had my third baby, a boy. His older brother and sisters were VERY understanding of how tiny he was, Why he had to stay in the hospital because he came out of mommy to early. Derin was a bit upset when I had my eyes on another little girl 24/7, not having quite enough time for play time and fun. But he grew to love the fact that he was a big brother. Kaila had her heart set on a baby brother or sister, she loved the fact that I had one in my tummy. With six kids, you have to explain to them that mommy and daddy love them all the same, and that there is enough room in their hearts for them and another baby. Now, I have my 1 month old here with me, and I think that all my kids are the very best of friends. I think it was a great idea to give each of them the chance to have so many loving brothers and sisters.

Answer 4

Don't worry about it. Just think of it this way, you will now have a little helper.
When I began my family and I was pregnant with the 2nd one I had questions about weither or not I would be able to love the one coming - then I had a 3rd and had the same questions again. I soon discovered - somehow, a mother always has enough love for all of her children - it's just sort of a natural thing.

Answer 5

Don't worry I felt the same way when I had my twin daughters, my son was 3. You find away trust me. You have extra love you had no idea was there. Things will work out, your feelings are totally normal and things will be fine in the long run I promise

Answer 6

It'll be easier than you think. They are all so special and you will find time for both of them.