My boyfriend doesn't like me talking to my ex but when I tell him that he still talks to his he says that its different. He says she never did wrong like my ex. Should I just accept this answer?
2007-01-24 09:28:47 · 14 answers · asked by sara 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Depends. I had a similar situation where I broke up with a girl and she was kind of emotional about it and I couldn't just cut off my communication with her because that would leave her with no support... And, at least in my mind, it was absolutely clear that I wasn't going to date this girl again, I just felt sorry for her so I kept up with her (probably ends up hurting more in the end).
Anyways, if this is what your boyfriend is doing, then no big deal. Ofcourse, the problem is how you go about finding out what the state of his relations to his ex is.
2007-01-24 09:37:34 · answer #1 · answered by doblechivo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
On the one hand, it's a double-standard: he feels he should be trusted with his ex, but feels you shouldn't be trusted with yours.
On the other hand, if his ex never betrayed his trust but your ex betrayed your trust, the double-standard makes a certain amount of sense.
Here's what you should do: separate the two. It's not a "he gets to, so I should get to" type of situation.
Him talking to his ex: you need to decide if you trust him doing this, and if you don't, you need to be honest about your feelings. If he keeps on doing it despite your feelings on the subject (assuming you're not a fan) then he just told you that his ex is more important than you are. Act accordingly.
You talking to your ex: if your ex betrayed your trust, or behaved in a really skanky way ("did wrong", whatever that means) then you probably shouldn't be talking to him, because he *doesn't deserve your friendship.* However, that's a judgement call for you to make, not your boyfriend. Here's the kicker, though; he's not telling you to stop, he's telling you that he doesn't like you doing it -- and by continuing to do it, you're telling him that your ex-boyfriend is more important than he is. Don't be surprised if he acts accordingly.
2007-01-24 09:36:52 · answer #2 · answered by daveowenville 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Fair's fair. If you shouldn't talk to your ex, he shouldn't talk to his. Just because your boyfriend made mistakes (?) doesn't mean you should completely cut him out of your life. Now that it's on a friendship level, those mistakes are probably not affecting your relationship or life because then you wouldn't have a problem with giving him the boot, would you? Besides, you make your own decisions. He's your boyfriend, not your keeper. He doesn't have the right to tell you who or who not to talk to.
2007-01-24 09:33:08 · answer #3 · answered by babsie 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, he has a double standard. Talk to your ex till he stops talking to his. And tell him that's the way it will be.
2007-01-24 09:33:15 · answer #4 · answered by Lotus 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No..if you cant talk to your ex then he shouldnt talk to his...why would you both want to communicate with your ex anyway..that will just cause confusion and mess up your emotions
2007-01-24 09:33:14 · answer #5 · answered by just me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, just accept his answer and be glad he can be nice about a breakup instead of trying to ruin the girl's reputation.
2007-01-24 09:33:37 · answer #6 · answered by beez 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No.
Its unfair to you.
You should do what YOU want to do.
If he wont stop talking to his,you shouldn't have stop talking to yours.
And she had to of done something wrong or they wouldn't have broke up.
Ever think of that?
2007-01-24 09:34:23 · answer #7 · answered by Ashley 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no its not fair dont take that answer it dont make you feel comfortable thats considered cheaten you know and that you shouldnt put up with it theres no difference its unfair dont let him tell you what to do
2007-01-24 09:36:41 · answer #8 · answered by Chrissy M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hell no!!!! He wants his cake and eat it too seems like it to me. Relationships are 50/50 not 90/10. NO DOUBLE STANDARDS ALLOWED!!!!!
2007-01-24 09:33:33 · answer #9 · answered by McDaniel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that a load of horse sh!t if you dont mide me saying if he really loves you yo should be able to whoever you want
2007-01-24 09:33:09 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋