I have known my boyfriend since I was 15 (im 20 now), we were best friends, and we started dating my senior year ( i was 17), well about a year after we started dating I got pregnant, and we had our beautiful son Blake Alan! We have our own house in the small town, with our baby boy, and now I have another baby on the way! Everything sounds great...except he wont ask me to marry him! We have talked about it and he says that he wants to, but I dont understand why he wont ask! I mean we own a house, are about to have 2 kids, but he is scared to get married!!!! What should I do?
2007-01-24 08:44:05 · 35 answers · asked by janedoe! 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Get down to the nitty-gritty, and with an open mind, ask him what his reasons are for fear of marriage.
And then ask yourself how important marriage is to you even though you've built a beautiful life together up to this point (you have, haven't you?).
Point is, you need to communicate with him. And then come to a compromise that will keep you both happy and have the children's best interest in the utmost priority.
2007-01-24 08:49:13 · answer #1 · answered by endrshadow 5 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Maybe your guy is just scared. Not that he's afraid to commit to you but maybe he just needs a little more time. I can't say for sure, obviously. You two sound like you share a wonderful life together, with a little boy and another baby on the way. Heck, I've been married for almost two years now, yet I still don't have a baby or a house. Nonetheless, we're more happy than ever.
Hopefully he's just planning something for you. You never know!
At any rate, I wish you the best of luck and wish your family happiness!
2007-01-24 08:58:39 · answer #2 · answered by YourStar 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really don't know what to tell you...I have been with my boyfriend for 15 years. We have an 8 year old daughter who is always asking why we had her if we are not married. It's kind of tough answering her questions. I am the only girl of 3 brothers and would have liked to have the whole wedding thing too but realize after 15 years it ain't gonna happen. We live together and are well off. I asked him for us to try and have another baby finally convinced him but have had no luck with that either. I want us to get married but I really don't think he wants too.He has given me a ring but when we were going to go talk to priest he backed off never knew why he did that and it reallly hurts. Hope you will marry I have a feeling it wil never happen for me.Good luck!!!
2007-01-24 13:23:16 · answer #3 · answered by ana t 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
everything about your relationship has been done in an accelerated manner. Adult life has come at you hard and fast. Maybe it is just a bit overwhelming for him right now. It doesn't mean he doesn't love you and your children. He just might need that small bit of individuality to make him feel secure for now. And to maybe still make him feel young. Don't push. It seems as though he is doing the best he can by you and the kids right now. He will make the move in his own time. And besides...you don't want him to ask you to marry him just because you pressed him do you? Where's the romance in that? Love him...love your kids....and relax on the marriage thing. Good luck hun!
2007-01-24 09:49:42 · answer #4 · answered by silentscreamer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The two of you are very busy right now, with one child and another on the way. He is probably putting all his energy in trying to support his new family right now, and feels like he can't give you the ring/wedding/honeymoon you deserve or he would like to get you.
If it's just a matter of wanting to be married, tell him you don't need all that stuff, you just want to be an official family, have all the same last names, and you will be happy with whatever you can afford right now.
If all the material things are a part of your wedding day plans, you are just going to have to be patient until he feels that his other priorities (diapers, bills, cars, insurance, mortgage) have been taken care of.
2007-01-24 09:18:35 · answer #5 · answered by sorcergeek 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why get married? Nothing will be changing. You already have a house, live together, and have kids. Sounds like you're already married. If you keep pressuring him to propose, he will run. Guys always do. Give him time and see what happens. You are already giving him everything he wants, so why would he waste time and money getting married?
2007-01-24 08:54:30 · answer #6 · answered by Jen G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well honestly why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free he is getting everything he needs in a wife in a girlfriend for free so he probably feels like why should he marry you when you are already acting like a wife without setting any boundries or guidelines as to when you want to get married or by what date and if he doesn't agree then he really doesn't want to marry you and you need to find other options that would accept you and your children trust me I was in the same situation and I kept receiving excuses so I left and plus you are young enjoy your children first and worry about having a spouse second you cannot force someone to marry you you just move on to someone who wants to love you
2007-01-24 08:51:48 · answer #7 · answered by aquillacs 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Like momma always said : Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? Why get married, when he already has all the perks? He gets the sex, has the kid, the house, the house wife (whether you work or not), sees you everyday ... i mean, to him, you ARE married. Men dont give a damn about all that she she poo poo wedding dress, flowers, bridesmaids crap. They marry for the advantages, and he has them already. Im not preaching because Im in a similar situation, but thats what happens when you put the carriage before the horse, you dont get anywhere.
2007-01-24 08:50:43 · answer #8 · answered by hersheekysses 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
He won't marry you 'cause he know what he can get away with!... Tell him seriously you want to get married. It will be good for the kids. Your family can share the same last name (this will eliminate confusion when they go to school and at Dr. Offices-trust me!)... Then if he still doesn't want to, kick him out and don't let him back until you guys get married!.. A girl doesn't have to live with a guy unless he marries her but guys like to have this convenience without getting married.
2007-01-24 08:53:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Hes an exceedingly sturdy boy and they love one yet another a lot. i have no longer something antagonistic to them getting married because she is in sturdy palms. And a minimum of I wont might want to agonize about her marrying a bum... " what's the adverse to this difficulty?? I say allow them be! even as she turns 18 you basically isn't in a position to offer up her from getting married and it feels like it is a sturdy effective relationship and not in any respect some twisted up one. allow your daughter be at liberty. it feels like she is making the right determination to me.
2016-10-17 03:10:30 · answer #10 · answered by catharine 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋