my girlfriends mortage is 3k a month, i was paying750 but she was always mad at me because she was not getting what she wanted from me and made it real ruff on me! To show me that it is not about the money she suggested i get my own place, which i did !If the situation were reversed she would pay that kind of money ,and we are having a problem solving this ? Although 1500 is a lot of money without type ownership i might consider paying that much if she would give me or show me some type of ownership papers, credit? Also she says she has no money or barely gets by but she buys things on ebay all the time and is currently looking at buying a cutting horse which are several thousand dollars. Lots of my friends think i am getting the run around and being used, what do u think ? oh and we are in our 50's too !
2007-01-24 08:40:27 · 9 answers · asked by jim h 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
dump her you are being used
2007-01-24 08:44:47 · answer #1 · answered by gettin it 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think 1/2 the mortgage, utilities, and etc. is fair.
You are a renter. She is the landlord.
She put out the initial down payment, closing costs, etc. and pays the insurance and tax bill.
If you don't like it - you can get your own place so she can find a roommate that is willing to be a renter only. Or marry her. Your choice. Either way...at this point you have no right to question her finances as her bf.
You are entitled to any furniture, etc. that you have bought. She should be responsible for the cost of any maintenance or repairs that are necessary.
Think of it this way: if you were to rent the house from a stranger what would the terms be? Likely you would be paying mortgage and utilities and they would take care of upkeep & property taxes. Just because she lives there too and is your gf doesn't make the business terms any different.
She has made an investment in a property and should be able to recoup from it. If not from you, then by someone else. There's no ring on her finger!
2007-01-24 08:54:51 · answer #2 · answered by apbanpos 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If my morgage was 3k a month... Thats some house! maybe u 2 r living too high on hog! Talk about it maybe u can find a figure which is fair.Your ques was money 4 nothing ... however u r living there so u need to help out. If u want to b together see about moving. Do u need a place that big? ..............do u need to spend that much { 3k } on a rent or morgage? I don't think u r being used but you really need to figure out together what u can do to fix the situation. If she can't afford the place she'll have to move soon anyway. Im in that situation right now due to ex income gone.U could live alone 4 that price of 795.00 easily but that wn't cover utilities... Her morgage is probably easier. Moving is expensive Maybe u can get a partial agreement to puchase part of her house 4 the future so u won't feel like u r wasting your money?
2007-01-25 02:56:49 · answer #3 · answered by lilly l 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to treat the situation like a business. Establish the amount of money you're each willing to put forth and what your rights are accordingly. If you can't agree on the rights & responsibilities, then don't do it.
Unfortunately, whether your friend is telling the truth about barely getting by is not your business.
2007-01-24 13:22:06 · answer #4 · answered by Happy Wife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say that you exit stage left post haste. I think at your age you should not be required to pay any part of her living expenses if you are not living there. If you are paying half of the mortgage then by all means you shuold be on the deed. Otherwise, down the road when things get rocky that will still be her house and you will be out on your own.
My fiances' uncle is in the same pickle right now and it is driving him crazy. has has put a new roof on, bought new furniture, pays majority of the bills and his name still isnt on her deed.
If it hasnt been put on as of this far, then i would say t wont.
You are being used. Stay at your own place and find a partner who wants to build a life with you, not one who wants you to finance hers.
2007-01-24 08:49:03 · answer #5 · answered by glorymomof3 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
What are you doing counting money in someone else's pocket? If you don't feel comfortable with her being your g/f - tell her so, and hit the road looking for someone else. Otherwise, forget about the money and enjoy the relationship. You don't have to give her any money at all, and she doesn't owe you anything either. Just date and have fun, and keep the finances out of it.
2007-01-24 08:46:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow.
It sounds to me like she is using you (but I haven't seen her side of the story either). If your side is true then I would get out while you're still young. You shouldn't settle for anything less than love.
2007-01-24 08:45:32 · answer #7 · answered by Lixender 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Money, money , money. Do you have a mercantile relationship or a love affair?
Good luck
2007-01-24 09:02:04 · answer #8 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're being had...run...very fast.
Best of luck!
2007-01-24 09:56:45 · answer #9 · answered by The Older Woman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋