Pagan handfastings?

Question

My guy and I have been together for quite a while, are both on Pagan paths and are committed to one another. Neither of us are real interested in a traditional legal marriage. I am wanting to, I guess, bring handfasting up to him. In a way, I guess, I'm wanting to propose.. Any suggestions on how to do this in keeping w/ the older ways??

We are both on same path. I was thinking of doing a first handfasting, a year and a day, as a trial period so to speak.

Answer 1

the Handfasting is a very strong spiritual ritual, that can bind you in this world and the next one. depending on the desired ritual.

many people go through a process of several handfastings. the first is for a year and a day, and after which both of you decide if you wish to remain together or to Part as friends.

the second is for 3 years and is a stronger ritual. if after this time you wish to be bound for life, then the full ritual can be done.

In the United States (most of the states anyway) this can be done as a Legal Marriage ceramony if you wish it to be so, or it can be done simply as a spiritual thing.

i would urge you to talk to your "guy" and explain to him the beliefs and traditions associated with Pagan rituals. and talk to him about Traditional Marriage, and a Pagan Handfasting.

Handfastings can be beautiful ceramonies with many guests, and much celebration, or a quiet ritual with just the 2 of you and a
"Priest" or officient. I have preformed them both ways, most people like the choices that this gives to them. they can avoid the "big wedding" hassle, or they can have as many people as they want to. it can be formal, casual, or extreemly informal. all of the choices are up to you. Most Pagan priests, will even involve you in the writing of the ceramony so that you get the ceramony that you want.

Answer 2

First of all, you must understand that a handfasting does not only join you together in this life, but the next as well. Consequently, most who wish to be handfasted go through the betrothal process first. They are officially betrothed in Ritual and must wait a year and a day prior to being handfasted. This insures, hopefully, that the couple are able to make this commitment, are willing, and are happy to be together.

To bring it up, ask your man if he likes the idea of being joined in this life and the next one. His answer should tell you whether or not this is a good idea for you both!

Answer 3

Depends on if he's Pagan or not. If he is, then you could gently hint that you love him a lot and want to ceremonialize it, and get the Gods blessings. If he's not, then you have to find out if he can cope with it, before you propose having one. Depending on both of your styles, you may be able to just pop the question out there, "Hey, how would you feel about being handfasted?"

Answer 4

In keeping with the older ways... he's going to have to steal your dad's cow, or kidnap you to prove himself first. You will need to cut off your hair and offer it to Aphrodite to signify that you're happy about the whole arrangement and they you all can continue on from there.

Seriously though, as much as I hate it, I suggest you do the legal thing too. Unfortunately our country is set up to discriminate in a big way against unmarried couples. I can't get benefits for my partner because we're not married legally (although if we were a gay couple we could under a special provision in my contract, which I think is very nice, but since we're not gay, we're out of luck).

Answer 5

In the HBO Series Rome...the pagans put dirt/mud/clay on each others forheads and are thus forth married.


So you could just throw some mud balls at his face and let him do the same.