My friend set her wedding date for the weekend of a music festival that we all, including her and her future husband, go to every year. Its the one time a year that all our friends from college meet in minnesota and spend 4 days listening to live music, camping and catching up on life. We all look forward to it every year and have all been planning it already for this year, some already even have purchased tickets and spent $200-$300. And now we find out the wedding is that weekend. Most of our friends are very upset as the bride and groom are completely aware they are coninciding w/ the festival. Now we are left with the dilemna of going to the wedding and being upset about missing the festival or going to the festival and feeling guilty about skipping the wedding. Whats the best way to go about this??
2007-01-24 08:24:43 · 28 answers · asked by charmed_one_und 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I'm sure that the groom took this into consideration when he said okay to the date. You have to keep in mind that certain times of the year are less expensive to get married. Perhaps by choosing this date was the only way that they could afford their wedding. Also, perhaps they thought that since that was normally when everyone was in the area togther it would save ppl multiple trips. They could have chosen that date b/c its close to their hearts *b/c thats when they see distant friends* I think that should have given you guys enough notice that you didnt go out and buy tickets to an event you attend every year but, since they didnt...just put the tickets up for sale if you have no way of attending. Then try and remember that your friend is getting married and he wants to share it with you! I'm sure you will have a great time and next year you can all enjoy the festival togther.
2007-01-28 08:29:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok you cannot ask her to change her wedding date. She has probably put down non-refundable down payments to reserve that date with alot of her different vendors. Obviously her future husband (or her) doesn't care about it too much because he would've told her that was not a good date from the very beginning. But I say that the wedding is only one day and the festival is 4 why not do both. They just probably won't be able to make it. It does suck when traditions get broken but if he's a good enough friend you'll understand and that's probably what they are thinking. But I think it might be a little too rude to ask somebody to change their wedding date because some friends of theirs want to go to a festival. I would be pretty upset if one of my friends did that to me. I think from here it is a personal decision of whether to go to the festival or the wedding. For the people who have already bought tickets then maybe they can sell them or still go. But I wouldn't risk losing a friendship over it. The festival will come again but they won't get married again. But definitely don't ask her to change the date. If it was me I definitely wouldn't change the date. Good Luck!
2007-01-24 08:49:23 · answer #2 · answered by Heather 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I would say support the friend and attend her wedding. The festival itself comes every year but her wedding will only happen once. I would say that you all are invited up to the wedding, then it wont be any different than going tothe festival, as the main point was to be able to hang out together.
You can also attend the wedding and just go to the festival late- it is for 4 days, so missing one isnt that bad.
Be a good friend though and be there for her on her day. She probably scheduled it so you all can make another memory for that special time!
2007-01-24 08:43:41 · answer #3 · answered by glorymomof3 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Do not ask her to change the date. If they are aware of the conflict, and chose to schedule their wedding at that time anyway, they have good reasons for doing so. Don't insult them by suggesting otherwise. Yes, this festival is once a year; but a wedding is supposed to be once in a very very long time. I don't see how it can be much of a problem skipping the festival just once in order to share your friend's special day. There is always the next year.
2007-01-24 08:43:36 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
This music festival is an event that happens every year. A wedding happens once. You said it's a time you all get together, well you will all get to see each other at the wedding. She had her reasons for picking that date, there is a lot of planning that goes into a wedding and she probably has vendors booked. You can not ask/expect her to change that date and if your friendship is important to you then you need to not resent her for it and attend the wedding.
2007-01-24 08:32:46 · answer #5 · answered by strtat2 5 · 7⤊ 0⤋
Okay seriously, listen to how selfish you're being. Did you ever think they chose that date BECAUSE they knew you'd all be there? A wedding isn't a weekend event, it's a few hours long at the most. You can't go to the silly music festival afterward? Maybe your friends considered their wedding day was a little more important than a festival that happens EVERY year. You're only supposed to get married once. Which do you think is more important.
2007-01-24 08:30:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 10⤊ 0⤋
Can Your Friend Change the Date Your Were BORN?
Would You Like It If Your Friend Told you to Change Your
Wedding Date Because she had an Ozzy Concert to attend?
Really, think about it.
Your friend is getting married, hitched, serious so to speak.
This is the most important day in her life.
She planned the date. Alot of money, time, worry and effort were spent just to plan it so.
My question is do you think she is offending you by sending a wedding invitation as you being part of the celebration? And usually brides send out invitations 1-2 months in advance. Didn't you have a way of knowing?
2007-01-24 08:42:49 · answer #7 · answered by Born Valentine's Day 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps they set that date knowing that all their friends would be planning on being in town those days. The wedding is only one day, so why couldn't you make the other three days of the festival?
Asking someone to change their wedding date is crossing into tricky territory, and I wouldn't do it.
How about being there for your friend and making the best of what you have left?
2007-01-24 13:26:16 · answer #8 · answered by Happy Wife 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Most people don't think that when you are dispencing advice it should be practical as well as helpful. If there was an easy way out you won't be asking for a solution. If as you say your friend and her husband are a regular at the festival, why not suggest that they get married in Minnesota. It could be a very romantic event with live music and all. Most people like to have a special wedding, so if you could implant this idea it will solve both the problems. Hoping for the best. Good Luck.
2007-01-24 08:42:18 · answer #9 · answered by curious 2 · 1⤊ 3⤋
nope. its her wedding. perhaps they wanted to plan their wedding on this weekend because of the date of the music festival. it may be a special date to them. maybe they thought that would be cool for everyone to be at their wedding celebrating together in lieu of the festival. does it really matter where you are anyhow? being together is the important part.
you CAN always go to Minnesota for the other 2 days with everyone else on your camping trip.
the only thing you could possibly say without being totally rude would be to say, "hey, did you realize that is the weekend of our annual camping trip?" and if you said this, you will have to not be a snot about it.
yes, weddings & brides do get selfish, but just let her enjoy the time. i had a friend who got super jealous (probably not your issue here) and she really tried to ruin my joy. luckily for me she didn't, but we are not friends anymore. i took it as an act of complete selfishness on her part along with her behavior because it was such an important once in a lifetime event for me. everyone is allowed their moment, so let her have it if you truely care about her.
there is always next year.
2007-01-24 08:45:24 · answer #10 · answered by christy 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋