Is OK to pretend you are interested in what your 12 year old is saying when you really aren't?

Question

If it is then why do I feel guilty? I love my son and want him to know he along with my other two children mean the world to me. That's why I feel guilty pretending to be interested in what he is saying.

Answer 1

Do you really think that parents pay attention to everything their children say? You don't have that much strength nor energy so pretending you are interested or listening is normal, all parents do it at some point or time, and you are not a bad parent for doing it. You can't expect to pay attention to what an adolescent says 100% of the time. At least you do listen.

You are there for your child, you protect him against everything so give yourself a break. You are there for him and that means more than anything to him. Being loving to him is so wonderful and you should be proud of yourself.

No one can be expected to listen intently to others 100% of the time. We all do that thing where we are half listening or kind of sort of listening, couples do it, parents, and kids. And kids talk a million miles a minute about everything all the time. Try to keep up with that.

Answer 2

Your 12-year old is no different than anybody else in this aspect -- what do you do when your friends get a little boring? Think about it a sec ...

You feel guilty because you're not giving 100% at that moment, but you can't give 100% all the time. As long as you are giving 100% focused attention to him a fair amount of time each day and tuning in enough to know when you really need to pay attention you're OK. Be grateful he is still talking to you!

Answer 3

No, Try being honest, I know from experience that your son knows that something is up with mom. You pretending that theres no just makes him feel worse. You can say geez (Bob) I'm just can't do it right now, but I would like to hear about it later. Moms having a bad day. You know you could help by keeping the other kids happy for mom can have a break.
Then take those few minutes and go hide in the bathroom or bedroom regroup if you can if not just relax those few minutes and then fight through one day and make it to the next. Please seek the help you need. I have

Do what you need to do.
At the age of 19 my son went to his guidance counselor and teacher and told them that he was worried about my safety (he thought I was going to kill myself) so after talking to them and him I admit myself for a 7 day stay at a inpatient mental health treatment center so I do know that kids can tell.

Answer 4

It's hard - I feel my eyes crossing when my 12 year daughter is talking about who likes who in school and what the cafeteria is serving today and what boy is cuter. Then she talks about her favorite JoJo song or Hilary Duff...blah blah blah. I have to force myself to be interested and ask questions, because if she figures out that I am not connecting, that's when she stops sharing. It will be harder to reconnect.
Don't feel guilty, there are plenty of times when the kids are just watching your mouth move. Think the grown up voices on a Charlie Brown special "Wha wha wha what".

Answer 5

Well as parents,you have to listen and make them think you are interested even if your not,its just part of your job as a parent..Its just the important things to them does not interest us..There is no reason to feel guilty as long as you give your son full attention and let him see that you are interested,he does not have to know your inside feeling as long as you make him feel that you care...I have had my children say things to me and i say Oreally? well thats great honey,just because it interest them does not mean we have to be really interested as long as we listen and commit. a parents role has many faces,as long as we listen,,,..

Answer 6

Try to remind yourself when he is talking that whatever he is talking about is important to him. He needs to be able to talk to you so that when he has a big problem he can come to you with it.