My close friend who is 31, wanted to get engaged so badly to her bf of 3yrs. She got to the point that if it didn't happen by a certain date, she was going to leave him. Well, she started snooping around their apt & found the receipt to the ring. So when he told her to keep that following Sat open, she knew that was the night. And sure enough it was. I was so happy for her, I ran to her place ASAP, to congratulate them both.
Me on the other hand, I'm 32 &I have been dating my bf for 1 yr. Since Nov, he's made it seem like we'd get engaged real soon, but then after the holidays, he told me money got real tight (& it did). I was a little hurt & vented to her. Her response was "why are u in such a rush". I was so mad cause I can't believe she of all people would say that. She is getting married Oct '08, but she has half the wedding planned out already. On New Years Eve her bf said "we're getting married isn't that great" &she replied "No, it's not for another yr.
2007-01-24 08:08:38 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
The problem is, I use to always go to her for advice, but lately all she talks about is her wedding plans, but I could really use her as a friend. I am avoiding her though, because I dread talking to her, since I know she's going to say something like "why are you in a rush". I just miss the girl who gave good advice.
Another thing that hurts too, is that I am a graphic designer and she asked me to help her with her engagement invites and I was so happy to help her, but then w/o saying anything, she ended up ordering cards at some wedding expo. I want to be there for her planning and excitement, but she is making it so hard.
Please help!!!
2007-01-24 08:08:49 · update #1
Just talk to her about it. Avoiding her solves nothing. Be happy for her too! And if she says "Whats your rush".. one more time.. I'd very casually point out.. HELLO your not one to talk!
Your friend is still there... she's just pre-occupied right now. Just talk to her, be honest. And don't worry... your boy will get you that ring too!! Its coming.. so you don't need to worry how soon. If fact.. he may have said that to throw you off track, and guys don't usually propose the same time as other people, cuz they want that special time to be just for you. One of my guy friends proposed to his gf.. and you know what his other friend said to him right after we all found out... 'You beat me too it man.. I was going to propose too... now I have to wait a few months". I thought it was funny.. but really cute too! Their weddings are now planned 3 months apart (same amount of time their engagements were apart)
Be happy for her right now and she'll be happy for you when your time comes!
2007-01-24 08:21:54 · answer #1 · answered by CEP 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, this seems to be common among friends as some start to get married off. The key is if you arent ready for the responses she may have simply do not talk about it. Sure it hurts that you dont get the advice from your friend that you use to...but maybe its not the advice that has changed but your perception of it. Give each other some latitude She only speaks from experience. I suggest you point out the things that are bothering you but for you to ask her to stop saying things that she may naturally be seeing will make her unauthentic and then you will have a friend who doesnt give you their true opinion. Just take things as they are you can either deal with it or chose not you but the only persons behavior you can control is your own in this situation. You can not expect anyone else to change.
2007-01-24 08:19:01 · answer #2 · answered by LeiMe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
SPACE AND TIME ... this happens all the time! give her some space ... and it's more like you're giving yourself space because the last thing you need to hear is "why are you in such a rush". we women can get very selfish when it comes to one of our childhood dreams becoming fulfilled. She's getting married - the only thing on her mind is the wedding. unfortunately for you, you kinda lose a friend in the process. be there for her but i think that you may want to start exploring some other women you can hang out with and befriend. sorry she turned into the green eyed monster once she got what she was looking for. it happens to all of us - my bff just had a baby ... i had a baby 2 years ago but she was sooooo involved in every aspect of my pregnancy ... she didn't seem like she even wanted me around for hers. i finally had to suck it up and accept the fact that people change. wish you the best of luck - hopefully she'll come back down to earth once her wedding is over ...
2007-01-24 08:17:54 · answer #3 · answered by msdrdn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop being a hater and happy for your friend...this is jealousy pure and simple....help your man make money...send him out on interviews and you do the same...get part time jobs or internet hustles...stop being hypocrite and get your mind right even if it means dumping your man...for a well paid man and seducing him until you get a ring.
2007-01-24 08:21:16 · answer #4 · answered by D.E.O.N. Sphinxxx 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really think that you need to talk to her. Tell her how you feel and talk it out together.
It sounds as though she will be more then happy to discuss it with you.
I REALLY hope that you can come to a resolution and remain friends.
Good Luck!
2007-01-24 08:14:38 · answer #5 · answered by Heather 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe she doesnt mean to shut you out. Maybe she is turning into a bridezilla and thats all she can think about. Try talking to her.
2007-01-24 08:16:31 · answer #6 · answered by ChristinaN 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋