I'm so upset and I cant stop crying, I dont know what to do about my boyfriend, , he makes me feel that everything I do is wrong and it's my falt , everytime he has a bad day , he yells at me, then a mintute later he says he's sorry, he always blames me,then he says he loves me ,we never get to talk, I feel he always puts me down and never cares about me, he always buys me things to make it up, and when I dont forgive him , he yells at me and I'm always doing things wrong, what should I do, I love him and I dont want to leave him, I do so much for him , and sometimes I dont think he knows it,what should I do, I dont want to leave him, but I dont know how to let him know what he's doing to me.
2007-01-24 08:01:33 · 26 answers · asked by kitty 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Please help, I need alot of advice.
2007-01-24 08:02:06 · update #1
He makes me feel that I'm not worth anything.
2007-01-24 08:04:25 · update #2
We have been together for 2 years.
2007-01-24 08:11:02 · update #3
And when I try to leave him he begs and crys for me to stay.
2007-01-24 08:40:56 · update #4
By the sound of it, he's unable to cope with his own emotions, and tries to make up for it by buying you things.
This is not a healthy relationship. By the sound of it, he says 'jump', your instinct reaction is to ask him 'how high?' It sounds like he has all kinds of issues and needs help - but you are not the person to do this. The help he needs is professional, to deal with the emotional problems he seems to have.
Three times in your posting you say you love him - that's good for him, to have an unpaid maid around. Three times you say you don't want to leave him - why don't you want to leave a man who treats you so badly? Are you afraid you won't find anyone else?
You are NOT doing either him or yourself any favours by staying in the relationship. You're letting him undermine you, take advantage of you, and the reason you're upset enough to put your situation in Yahoo Answers is because you have reached rock bottom - you love him but there's no way you can go on like this. I'm sorry doll, you've spent 2 years looking after him, now it's time to cut him loose and spend some time looking after you. It's only 2 years, after all. Think of it as a learning curve!
You could try talking to him, I suppose, but from what you are saying, it is likely he could get angry enough to be physically abusive. Better to just go during the day or when he's not there.
2007-01-24 08:30:12 · answer #1 · answered by Orla C 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My ex used to be exactly the same.
By the end of our relaionship I felt worthless, unloved and had gained over a stone and a half in weight (which didn't help my esteem at all)
Then (thankfully!) a bit of luck came my way and the looser ended up in prison!
I ended it a few months later and never felt so happy. I met another guy and ended up with him soon after. Now I've lost the weight and feel good about myself. Everytime I see my ex I realise what a lucky escape I had!
Trust me, the best thing you can do is dump him.
Your just making it harder by believing you don't deserve better than him but you do, just have the confidence to do it for yourself!
2007-01-24 08:19:07 · answer #2 · answered by Rainbow-Taster 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you don't want to leave him pray that he changes for the better.
But here is my advice. You are a delicate rose waiting to blossom. No man or woman who claims to love you should ever bring tears to your eyes..and sorrow to your heart. Let this man know that the tears you cry are of hurt and pain. If he cannot treat you better than it is best the two of you go your separate ways. There are men out there that will and would cherish the ground you walk on. I know. I've been married for over 10 years now to my high school sweet heart. Don't take any flack or crap from him. You deserve better--Know this!!!
Good Luck
2007-01-24 08:22:50 · answer #3 · answered by shonnie b 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't need a lot of advice - you only need a little advice. Break up with him. Move on. You're clearly not happy with your relationship, so stop wasting your time and end it.
You can't change a person, especially without giving them some motivation to change. As long as you're willing to tolerate his abuse, your boyfriend has no reason to act any differently. You let him get away with it, thus he keeps doing it.
You probably already know that you need to leave him, though - this is the kind of thing people ask for advice about when they already know the answer, but wish they didn't.
2007-01-24 08:07:01 · answer #4 · answered by tfmemnoch 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I know you don't want to but I really think you should leave him. He is only making you feel miserable and that's not the way it should be in a relationship. In time your only going to resent him for treating you like this and that will turn to hate. I hope you really do relies its not your fault. I guess you really need to ask your self could he really change? when he says his sorry does he really mean it? If the answer is no then leave cause hes only going to bring you down and turn you into a person u wont like.
2007-01-24 08:10:09 · answer #5 · answered by Kiara 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hi does your bf take drugs any kind of drugs seems like he has down days and good days the same as most drug users, and you are i think doing to much for him he's got so use to it he thinks its a natural thing and that you are supposed to be doing these things for him ,try leaving him for a while have a well deserved break, see how he copes then.
and I'm sorry to sound so harsh your like a door mat to him damn now i feel like Jeramey kyle..get off your backside get back your self respect as a woman (young lady) get out with your Friends someone who can see what he's doing to you.I'm a bloke I'm giving you this advice i use to be a jealous guy now I'm down to earth i respect women cos i lost my childhood sweetheart from being a sexist pig there i said it.teach him a lesson go have fun show him if he Carry's on he could lose you it would scare me it should scare him gogogogo have fun girl
2007-01-24 09:54:55 · answer #6 · answered by gareth j 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with everyone else, but if you don't feel this is an option at this time, then maybe try writing everything down on paper and letting him read it. Sometimes , people have a hard time communicating, and this worked for a friend of mine, everytime she needed to talk she wrote her boyfriend a letter about how she felt. Doesnt hurt to try. GoodLuck.
2007-01-24 08:10:48 · answer #7 · answered by babykins 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't be with someone that makes you feel badly about yourself, especially when you are doing nothing wrong. I think that the only way out of this is if you do end it with him. You should be with someone that wants to talk to you every day and tells you how much they appreciate you on a daily basis. You need to figure this out on your own I think.
2007-01-24 08:08:03 · answer #8 · answered by Candi 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you need to leave him and be strong and say enough is enought dont let him walk all over you trust me the more you stay quitet and let him control you the more hell do it , and I heard like others he can get abusive , dont take that from any boys , just walk out say no thats not how im gonna be treated, find your own way you stupid man, and leave him, your better off, bulid a future of your own , trust me you acheve alot get alot a respect and hopefull will get a good senible man, who has brains
2007-01-24 08:20:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi. Sounds like you're going through a bad time. I am no relationship expert but ultimately you need to let him know what he doing to you. You don't say how long you've been together but I think if you tell him how you feel he'll have to take action or he will risk losing you. Sounds a bit like mental abuse - strong I know - but it is. Take your stand now. Tell him!!!!!!
Good luck!
2007-01-24 08:09:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋