I have battled dep. for almost 20 yrs. Diff. meds.,therapy,etc. I'm begining to lose hope of ever feeling norm

Question

Years of therapy,etc. have only seemed to make me feel worse. I've never been myself & I've never felt like I belonged anywhere. I've lost jobs,relationships,friendships,even my self respect. I have a very supportive family & friends,but it only makes me feel guilty for trying so hard to help me. The emptiness is unbearable at times. Depression has always had such hold over me.(all of my life) To know what it feels like to live life "normally" is something I've never known.I'm not thinking of suicide right now(though I have in the past). Death terrifies me. I want to live. Maybe the thought of living like this is part of the reason why I feel the way I do.

Answer 1

This might be an extreme option, but if you have chronic or severe depression, you might be interested in reading about it:

http://www.vagusnervestimulation.com/topics/

A couple of years ago, I was in a psychology class and we studied this when it was being tested as a resistant depression treatment. Appearantly a lot of people have successfully had it done since then.

Answer 2

Depression is a chemical imbalance. You are not alone. I suffered horrible depression until I got the right mix of meds and worked hard to think differently. The depression that is under control right now is life threatening. Without medicene I am one small step from catotonic. I was revived 4 times. An example is some days I couldn't even fill my dog's water bowl. Another example is I dropped my glasses between the wall and my bed. It took me 3 weeks to pick them up. I took everything, even had shock therapy nothing helped.It went on for years. They wanted me to go get an electical implant but it was 4 hours drive away. I could not drive. I was alone through all my depression. I had no family or friends. They all jumped ship. This is what I take now 300mg Elavil, 40 mg Paxil, 30mg Abilfy & Klonopin 1 mg for panic attacks.This is huge doses. It would knock out most people. With my depresion so bad It works. I got my life back. I got well enough on the medicine to start really changing my thought patterns. I am sorry if I can be any more help email me.

Answer 3

Obviously, you are spending WAY too much time in your own head. Seems this is all you think about.....? You say you want to live, so do something about it. Whenever I hear people say that therapy doesn't work or makes them feel worse is because you aren't being honest with yourself. Therapy is the only way to get better. Medication alone is not going to help you. What happens a lot of times with people who just go round and round with this for years and feel such guilt is because they have become addicted to their misery. I'm not saying you are making the depression up, but you have had it so long, that you can't imagine your life any other way. It terrifies you to LIVE. If you go to therapy with the right attitude, take suggestions and are willing to be completely honest, you will get better. Usually, what started the depression in the first place is so long gone, that most people can't even remember what it was. If you can remember what started this, then good for you. That's what you need to work on.

Answer 4

I don't know what to tell you. I know partially of where you're coming from, but I really didn't see a question you asked.
It does seem like you think a lot. I do too. I live in my head, and the thing I have found to get over this that usually relieves the depression for a little while is to get out of the house and do something. It doesn't matter what you do or where you go. Even going to the supermarket and wandering down each aisle works well. Walking outside for 30 minutes is also good, especially if it is slightly cool outside (because then you are focused on something else.)
I *know* the hardest part of depression is actually feeling good enough to do something, even something to relieve any pain you feel. Finding the energy to get up, put on your shoes, and get out of your house seems so impossible at times, but once you're out it usually feels so good.

I suppose I would say to continue with your meds and therapy, but also to do things to distract yourself. I'm a big fan of going out somewhere (by myself) when I'm depressed, seriously.

Answer 5

The meds are a massive part of it. It's unbelieveable that in 20yrs you still haven't found one that works properly. Keep trying! Also I know the frustration of therapy. I know the whole CBT crap did not work for me as I'm so used to my way of thinking. The best therapy I have found so far is called ACT. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. Search it on the internet and you will find it may help you. It's the best way of dealing with it I have found yet as wel as medication.

Answer 6

Why do you feel depressed. You are alive, people care about you. Pick yourself back up and give yourself the respect that you deserve. Look at all the good things you have to look forward to: Love, future friends. Put the past behind you and stop dwelling on it. Your friends and family are there to help you because they care, don't feel guilty. Go and do something you thought you never would. Say hello to a stranger, or do something for someone else.

Answer 7

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Answer 8

I was diagnosed manic drepressive at 17. dr told me it was a chemical imbalance. I had a hair analysis done and it turns out that i had to much copper in my system. after 3 years on vitamins i was re-diagnosed with anxioty. try asking your doctor what chemicals are imbalanced and when he can't answer then you know the persciptions are just guesses. i used a chiropractor who believes in non medicle remedies.

Answer 9

Me too, for almost 30 yrs.
Try getting sunshine
A light box- you look into it for about 20 mins. 2x a day.
And i am talking about serious depression!
Have you tried (Mirtazapine) generic name.
It saved my life!