Why do unwed mothers give baby the dad's last name?

Question

In my area there are a lot of unwed parents having babies. In the paper they publish new baby's names and they almost always have the dad's last name. Why do women not seem to understand that if he didn't marry (or at least set a date) the moment the second line appeared on the pregnancy test, that he probably won't (that's just statistics)? Since the mother's still generally end up with custody, it would be so much easier to share the same last name with their child(ren). Imagine, every time the teacher calls you from school, they will assume you have the same last name. When you make doctors appointments or pick up prescriptions you will have to explain your relationship. At most they should hyphenate both last names together. Why are all these unwed mothers still giving their child(ren) the dad's last name?

Answer 1

Sometimes the couple agrees on not getting married, some people have false hopes that the man will want more to do with them and some women do it for child support reasons. I think it is scandalous but I am just glad I am married and I know my baby's daddy is!!!! But not everyone can be so lucky.

Answer 2

I gave my son his father's last name at birth, granted we didn't get engaged until a month after the birth of our son, but we still knew that we were going to get married. I don't have any issues with picking up my child's prescriptions, taking him to the doctor, not even a problem with daycare. I don't think this should matter to anyone that it doesn't personally affect. If you want to be quite blunt it ISN'T anyone else's business which last name the mother chooses to give to her child but the mother and the father of that child. I personally have never had anyone approach me that had a problem with the way I chose to do things IE give my son his father's last name. My suggestion to the people who have such a problem with this ( not saying that you personally have a problem with it or not ) is to just stay out of it, and not worry about it.

It really irritates me when some people have so many problems with unwed mothers these days, yes some of them shouldn't be mothers but for the rest ( like me ) we are just as good of parents as anybody else at any age, I actually think I am a better mother than some older married women. I actually have some mothers who are ten years my elder calling me and asking me for advice so that must say something about my parenting skills. I really wish society would back off of un-wed mothers and move on to something more worth while nobody is going to change the things that are going on in the US so why can't people just realize that already.

Sorry this was not a personal attack towards you at all, I just get irritated when I see questions about unwed mothers like we are a different species or something we still do all the same things that married couples do except we didn't jump the gun and run off and get married the minute our pregnancy test's came back positive. I am glad I chose to wait because now I am getting a chance to have the wedding I dreamed of, the only difference is that my beautiful little boy will be able to be a part of our wedding which to me makes it so much more special.

Answer 3

Let me first start off by saying WHY??? Why would you even worry about something like this. It's their child and their decision to give their child the daddy's last name. I don't know how it is iwhere you live, but where I'm from the father has to sign for the child to have his last name, so therefore he is taking on the responsibility of a father. Parents here are never hassled for having different last names and it's not any confusion. Now what will be a confusion if ,lord forbid, something happened to the father. If the child doesn't carry the father's last name that child is not entitled to any benefite, which will be much needed since the father is absent. You have to be open minded and look at the big picture. It's their business! Hope this help to answer your question.

Answer 4

You have a point. I think it might be that when people marry the women takes the mans last name. So that is what they are doing with there child(ren). Its like they are still trying to have a relations on something that will never work. I know this one girl who had a son and he has his dads last name and i think it is because for one the mom wants the dad to be apart of the boys life and let him feel alike his. I see it as what ever happens they choose the dads last name. but there are moms that do name their kid after them which is a very good thing i think.

Answer 5

HUH??? My daughter and I have different last names. In 12 years, I have NEVER once had anyone call me by the wrong name or felt any need to explain why we have different last names.

Teachers, doctors, pharmacies.... they never assume it is the same. That is why they have paperwork that says the mother's/father's FULL name.

Women fully understand that they may never marry the child's father. Some (like me) don't want to and/or don't feel the need to. Does that mean the father is not the father??? How does that take away his right to give his child his last name?

Get the facts straight before you start judging others.

Answer 6

I knew in my case that the baby's father would always take care of our child. He came from an upbringing that was well and would never make a decision without being prepared for consequences, if any. We've now been together for the 4 years of our daughters life, married, and number 2 on the way.Its actually been 6 years total...wow lol... I'm not actually sure on what your issue is. You can't necessarily call it a "duck" because I don't see where every case can even begin to be thought to be the same

Answer 7

wow. i dont really see why thats any of your business. i am due in june and not married. granted i am engaged, but even if i wasnt, my son would still have his fathers last name. its his kid too, whether they end up together or not. this isnt the 60s anymore where you had to marry if you were pregnant. some women get pregnant on purpose. so what. not your business. if your an unwed mother, then by all means, please give your baby your last name. dont look down on other people for giving the dads last name. no one gave you that right. and obviously they wanted to have sex with the father. (unless unwanted sex like rape, i can see not using the fathers name)

Answer 8

First off I haven't married my daughter's father and I gave her his last name because she's his child too. What your saying doesn't even make sense. You have two different issues: unwed mothers & child(ren) names. We didn't get married but my child can't have her father's last name, that's ridiculous. When I go to pick up my child prescriptions I don't have to explain anything. When I take her to the doctor she's addressed by her first and last name and they don't ask questions. So what's your gripe. I'm an Anderson and my daughter is Sharber? There's nothing wrong with that. It's just how things are. Oh and by the way we're together and we're engaged he didn't disappear once the two lines appeared on the pregnancy test.

Answer 9

It's completely up to them and their preferences. Often if they are living with the dad, or he is involved, they feel that it the right thing to do. I agree with you though, that statistically, they might not be involved in the long run (the dad), but there are good men out there too. I got pregnant before I was married and my daughter has her father's last name (but we were already engaged at the time, & married before she was born so I don't really fall into the catagory you're talking about). But I can see both sides of the argument. You're right though hyphenating the last names would probably be the smartest choice if there is no guarentee on commitment.

Answer 10

It's the child's right to have his or her father's name, and it's the mom's right to choose the father's name if she wants to. They made the baby together, regardless of where dad is after the fact. My daughter has her dad's last name, and we were married for 17 years before he died a few years ago. My having a different last name from hers has NEVER caused any issues at school, the doctor, prescriptions, or anywhere else.

Answer 11

I am an unwed mother. I don't have a problem with my children having different last names than me. In this day and age of divorce and "unwed" motherness, it is more common than not for parents to have a last name different then their children. It is not an issue to pick up prescriptions or to take thenm to the hspital! Trusst me, i know from experience!