Okay, so I have this friend of mine. She met this guy at one of our going away parties. He asked for her phone number. He gave it to her and she started talking to this guy without her parents permission. She got found out and got in BIG trouble. She was grounded from emailing, but she still emailed this guy. After around six months she told her mom and she went to lunch with this guy (their families included). She says that she loves him, and I seriously don't know what to think. She said that she loved him when the only kind of contact was through emailing. This guy is her age, he is supposed to be a pastor's son, he seems nice enough, but he talked and emailed her when he knew she wasnt suppose to. That tells me that he isnt trustworthy.My friend has never had a boyfriend or many crushes. I think she is getting in with this guy way to deeep for many other reasons than I will say here. Should I confront her? How should I go about it?
2007-01-24 07:28:28 · 9 answers · asked by Miss Independent 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Nope. Unless she has asked you for adivce, stay out of it. You have to let your friend learn on her own. IF and ONLY IF this boyfriend is being abusive, then you need to step in, but untill then, wait until she asks for help.
2007-01-24 07:32:15 · answer #1 · answered by Pandora 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From what you wrote there really isn't a problem. So the guy wanted to contact her, big whoop. A lot of girls who are not allowed to date still find a way to do so and that does not always mean that they are getting in way over their head. I know a couple that have been dating for four years and they started out the same way. Only because she isn't allowed to do something and she does it doesn't autom,atically make it incoorect and dangerous. Let her continue doing what she thinks is best because eitehr way, whatever you say will not make her change her mind. You'd just be wasting your spit and your words will go to waste so just let her learn and live if in fact it is a mistake. You'll be kicking yourself later if you turn out to be wrong.
2007-01-24 15:34:24 · answer #2 · answered by melloncollieromance 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, your friend obviously feels serious about this person, regardless of how inexperienced you think she is. Confronting her can have serious reprecussions - she may shut you out and end your friendship over it. If you do confront her, express concern, but do not outright tell her it's wrong (she may view this as an attack).
As for him being untrustworthy ... love makes people do things without regard for consequences. In this case, he didn't do anything against the one he loved, he did it in order to be with (or just communicate) with the one he loves. He didn't do anything TO HER, so he is still trustworthy when it comes to her. In fact, someone may argue that it was romantic that he was trying to stay in touch with her.
2007-01-24 15:36:16 · answer #3 · answered by jabbamonkey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be there for her when she gets heartbroken. Also, do your best to keep her from doing something too risky or likely to cause her permanent harm.
Ask for her permission to give advice or suggestion as opposed to just forcing unsolicited advice on her. My thinking is that unsolicited advice will make her more determined to do something she really shouldn't be doing.
I agree with you on the trust issue. She sounds like she is really immature and just in love with the idea of being in love. She also sounds like she really needs a friend to try and keep her straight and to catch her when she falls.
Good luck!
2007-01-24 15:39:21 · answer #4 · answered by Leroy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you should do anything. She has to build experience sometime. (I'm not talking sexual) Why not now? Let her live her life, and be a supportive friend. If you truly feel her life is in danger, violence or rape or drugs then you should intervene.
Your life is your own, and hers is her own. Let her live it. If her parents have a real problem they will take care of it, not you. Unless, as I said, you believe her life is in danger.
2007-01-24 15:36:10 · answer #5 · answered by Poppet 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing you can do. The more she's told she "can't" the more she will. The more she's told she "shouldn't" the more she wants to. Best you can do is advise her not to lie to her parents, use protection if it goes that far and comfort her when all of this goes down the tubes, as it most likely will.
2007-01-24 15:33:27 · answer #6 · answered by Dr. Kat 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think u need 2 stay out of it.......who cares if he still emailed her wen he wasnt suppose to, dat only means he does luv her....have u not seen da movie romeo and juliet? ya well day were not suppose 2 c eachother but day did.....i think ur jealous dat ur friend gets someone dat luvs her and u dunt have dat.....
2007-01-24 15:37:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I know she is your friend but I think you should stay out of it. There is nothing for you to really confront her about.........
2007-01-24 15:36:32 · answer #8 · answered by littlegoober75 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stay out of it. who r u ?
2007-01-24 15:32:09 · answer #9 · answered by Joker 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋