Where to be buried?

Question

My husband's family is buried in a cemetery in his hometown which is about 100 miles from mine. I always wanted to buried next to my grandmother and I have a plot there along with my family we bought before I married him. He wants to be with his family and I've always been told the wife goes with the husband. What's right?

I don't know his family that well and it's so far for mine to go to decoration activities there. If I go 1st, I'll be all alone till he gets there.

Answer 1

Traditionally, it seems like wives have gone where their husbands went. I recently visited the graves of my great grandparents and the plots were for the family members with the particular surname they had when they died. My grandfather is buried with his parents and his wife. My grandmothers parents are buried in another town along with her brother and his wife and two unmarried siblings.

You two obviously don't HAVE to do anything a certain way. You don't even have to be buried together. If you were to be buried next to your grandmother and he was buried with his family, you guys could always add 'wife of' or 'husband of' on the headstones. That way you could be together in name even of you weren't buried together.

If you guys both feel strongly about being buried in different places but still want to be together, maybe you can make a deal that whoever dies first gets to 'choose' the burial spot for both of you. There's no easy way out of this one if you want to be buried together unless you are both cremated and the ashes are somehow split and placed in both cemeteries (strange, but not impossible)

Answer 2

You could be cremated and have your ashes scattered over both, and then have two headstones, one by your grandmother, and then you could just add your name to your husband's. In europe where I'll be living, the churchyards are so tiny they make people pay a yearly fee for being buried there. So I'll be cremated like the rest of my fiance's family and just have a simple headstone. That way my ashes can be scattered wherever I like.

Answer 3

I was with you until the "I will be alone until he gets there part". WHAT? Anyhow, if you have children it is only right and proper to be buried together so they can visit your GRAVE (not you) and grieve or pay respects to both parents. When we die, our essence or or souls leave this earthly body. The body is dead. Discuss this with your husband (about where to be buried). It is no-one's business but you guys.

Answer 4

It's just a body, not a person. Be buried near your family and your husband can be buried near his. Just have a gravestone marker for both of you at each.

Answer 5

Ask your kids. Burial is for the living not the dead. It helps them to heal mourn. My ex wife wants to be buried about 150 miles from our kids. They can not travel that far to visit her grave. She will be "away from the body", but they need her in a convenient location for her kids and grandkids to visit.

Answer 6

I'd leave that to my future children if I had any. I don't like to think about being buried myself.

Answer 7

that does make sense but no one should have to fight about where to be buried... my grandparents are right beside each other in a masoleum so they probably planned that...but what happens if you stay together forever? i wouldn't wanna be beside my ex husband...

Answer 8

i think everyone has thier own place...so you should have your own. Maybe go between them somehow then you will still be connected in a way.

Answer 9

do what you prefer.