My fiance and I come from big families. Together we will have over 400 people at our wedding. There are some people that don't get along with one another and there was an instance where we went out to a dance club and both of our cousins started fighting with eachother. I would hope that family and friends would respect our day and not start anything...the last thing I want at my wedding is a fight. Some friends have suggested that I put a little insert in the wedding invitation saying something like "Please put your differences aside and respect our day...we are all here to celebrate the marriage of____" But, I don't know if that would be tacky or be rude. My other friend suggested doing this but only putting them in the invitations of the 8 people that seem to have issues. I dunno...what would you do?
2007-01-24 06:41:20 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I think it might be a bit rude or tacky to presume that these people are going to brawl...and you dont want to spark any fires by making these people think you think they are barbarians. Although I completely understand and sympathize. I think what you should do is delegate this task to your future husband for his relatives, and do it yourself for your own relatives. Talk to those people in person. Let them know that you were very upset by the brawl at the club, and that if anything like that happened at your wedding you would be devastated...along with a hint that if they dont think they can put their differences aside perhaps its best if they do not attend your wedding where they may be so compelled to repeat the incident. You have to let them know that you are serious about this...and you will not be able to get the message across strongly enough in a politically correct insert.
Also, have security at your wedding...and give them authority to bounce anyone out who appears to be causing a stir.
2007-01-24 06:49:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
To be completely honest, you shouldn't have to put that in anyone's invitation. Both families should have enough respect for you, your fiance', and the importance of the day to stay away from each other. Instead of addressing the issue in the invitations, you and your fiance' could pull the people with the differences to the side before the wedding (individually, of course) and explain your concerns. If they say somethng like "well, if he/she starts something, that's it" tell them that you have it taken care of, no one will "start" anything, and they better not start anything either. If they say "I'm not coming if so-and-so comes", it's their loss for not being able to see you and your fiance' share your love for each other on such a joyous day.
Either way, good luck!
2007-01-24 08:42:29 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i dont know if they would take it the wrong way and be really uspet about you putting that in the invitations. If you think that they wont get upset than sure go for it. But i think it might be best to talk to them one on one or get their parents to talk to them about the issue. I am sure there wont be any problems, i come from a big family as well and even though there have been fights, they know where to draw the line. In case your still worried have some back up, someone at the door two or three men there just incase, so if any problems come up than they will be kicked out and not allowed back in.
2007-01-24 06:46:17 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am having the same issue for my July wedding. I did not want an open bar because of it. i did not want this.. that.. beavuse of them and then a thought came to me. this is my wedding and when i have to pare down things for my reception, not because i cant afford them because ithers do not know how to handle themselves. then thy need not be present. so there are going to be persons missing from the guest list and since we have paid parking (that has been pre paid by me) and guests must have an invitation upon entry to the wedding :) which is noted on the invitation.. there are gonna be some pissed wanna be wedding crashers lol.
do not let these people ruin your day. if they do not have respect enuff for your special time they do not deserve an invite. good luck...
2007-01-24 13:28:25 · answer #4 · answered by ray g 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
By putting them in all, you'll be letting the other 392 know your dirty laundry. They may wonder to whom you are referring and may feel slightly odd about things - and for no reason - they have done nothing.
If it is only 8 people, just call them. Tell them you understand that so and so gets under their skin, but you would consider it a personal favor if they took the high road for your special day.
If you really don't feel comfortable calling them, then a handwritten note from you - or your husband (depending on the side) making the request would be your best Plan B.
And I wouldn't worry too hard about offending the 8, as obviously they care little about others.
2007-01-24 06:46:08 · answer #5 · answered by apbanpos 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I would not do that little insert in the invitation.
I would talk to those who have had issues with each other and state quite bluntly "if you get into a fight at my wedding with this person I will throw you out myself". Something to let them know that you will not tolerate fighting at your wedding.
But I definitely feel that little wording would not suit well in an invitation.
2007-01-24 08:35:10 · answer #6 · answered by Terri 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't put it in everyone's invitations. I think your best solution is you and your soon to be husband confront all 8 of these people individually and explain that you love them dearly but are a bit concerned that trouble might brew at the wedding and if they could please put differences aside and respect the two of you. I'm sure you'll get one or two upset but you got to let them know this is YOUR day not theirs! Good luck!
2007-01-24 06:54:27 · answer #7 · answered by mageta8 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Learn now that you can't control the behavior of others.
So you need to do the next best. Gather a bunch of your guy friends, the Ushers, etc & let them in on what's happening & what your fears are. They can keep an eye open and head off any potential trouble. You hate to think of needing 'bouncers' at a wedding reception, but its been done before.
I even know one bride who hired an off-duty cop to be at hers.
2007-01-24 08:06:53 · answer #8 · answered by weddrev 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People who don't love you enough to respect your important day, shouldn't be invited (IMO). You just don't need the hassle of this hanging over your head on top of everything else that will be going on that day..... re-evaluate your list. If your gut says trouble... hit the delete key. I am sure anyone who knows about the club incident, or hears about it after the invites, would support your decision..... its a time to choose colors, cakes and have fun... God Bless you and your fiance...
2007-01-24 07:10:47 · answer #9 · answered by Sweetserenity 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
i know this sounds extreme but i have 2 bouncers to be at my wedding. my family don't get along especially when drink is involved. the last time we were all together 3 were arrested, 2 put in long term hospital care and 6 needed stitches etc... my husband is a bouncer / guard so his boss has 'lent' me a couple of blokes for the night. extreme but no-one is going to spoil my day. oh no no no
2007-01-24 07:00:36 · answer #10 · answered by frost7216 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋