Like every time he visits he says. How is that coffee table working out for you? or How is that deck working out that I helped you with? He has done like three things for me in my entire life, and he keeps mentioning them. I HAVE thanked him for his help, the coffee table etc. Aren't parents just supposed to help? I do with my kids....
2007-01-24 06:31:20 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Perhaps your father is not mentioning them for you to repeatedly express your appreciation. Objectively, he may be:
1. Mentioning the items as a way to start a conversation with you.
2. May merely be reflecting on a happy memory of a time when he WAS able to help you.
I would recommend responding in a positive manner by telling him HOW you are using the item or how helpful the item is to you. You don't necessarily have to keep thanking him....see how he responds to this approach. Good luck
2007-01-24 06:40:24 · answer #1 · answered by BB 3 · 9⤊ 0⤋
Either he doesn't know what to talk about, or he wants to know that he still counts and can stillbe useful. Maybe you can ask for his help, sometimes, even if you don't need it? Or just for some advice you know he'll be able to answer (but not on very important matters, otherwise he'll get sulky if you don't follow his advice!). He might be bored, you know. I mean, you say you have kids yourself. Or maybe if he feels bad because he hasn't done many things for you (you said it, so I don't know to what extent it's true), so he wants to feel a bit better and try to remind you that, probably without even realizing whathe is doing. Anyway. Could be anything.
2007-01-24 07:49:55 · answer #2 · answered by Offkey 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
lets give em something to talk about...lol
take em out for a picnic once the weather is nicer, when they are not around the object they have given you, it would seem odd to discuss the past presents.
Old people dwell on memories of happy moments in their past,give them even a happier moments so they have else to focus on. I have noticed the same thing with my parent I dont ask about their health anymore cause they think about enough already, we discuss fishing trips in future, taking em to fun places they haven't been to yet keeps the conversation lively.
2007-01-24 06:51:51 · answer #3 · answered by entelectual h 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He's short of things to say to you. He can't think what else to talk about. Try engaging him in conversation on a topic you know he is interested in. He just needs some reassurance that he's important in your life. Parents need their kids a lot more than kids need their parents, as you may already know. He doesn't want your gratitute just to know he still counts
2007-01-24 07:36:50 · answer #4 · answered by gerrifriend 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's probably trying to make conversation. Do some stuff with him so he'll have something else to talk about. I know my mother is very insecure so the conversation is always going to be about her, but if she stays busy, at least the subject matter can vary a little.
2007-01-24 06:39:11 · answer #5 · answered by Kacky 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he needs some more conversation topics or he really wants to say something serious but can't find the way to being it up so he beats around the bush of those items.
2007-01-24 07:10:32 · answer #6 · answered by missgigglebunny 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like your father is trying to find ways to still feel included in your life. You mention that you've thanked him numerous times, and I don't think that he's necessarily looking for thanks each time, but rather is bringing back memories of something he was able to do to help. If there are more little things that you know your father could still do, how about looking for ways he can continue to feel helpful?
2007-01-24 06:56:08 · answer #7 · answered by JenV 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have one of those parents too... Wish I had some words of wisdom for you. I just keep smiling and saying thank-you. She is after all the only mother I have so I just keep the peace ... just don't repeat the same pattern with your kids.
2007-01-24 06:40:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know maybe your mom doesn't give him enough praise? Maybe he's unappreciated at work? Just say "Great Dad.I hope I can be as cool to my kids when they grow up as you are to me".And no,when kids get older they are supposed to help out their folks not the other way around,although it has transversed that way over the last 40 years.
2007-01-24 07:03:51 · answer #9 · answered by AngelsFan 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I agree with Kacky. If you haven't had that much of a relationship with him, he's probably trying to make conversation with you and connect on some level. See if you can find something else that you can connect about: sports, cars, whatever.
2007-01-24 13:50:47 · answer #10 · answered by drshorty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋