Should we have a baby?

Question

We are young (I am 19 and he is 29). He is going to be starting law school in a year, and I am planning on going back to school around the same time. We could probably BARELY afford a baby. We know that it would probably be more logical to wait; we should be financially ready in four to five years. However, we want one SO bad...it's like an overwhelming feeling...we talk about it all the time! Would it be better to wait until we are more secure, or to have one now? We are ready emotionally; we want this more than anything. If you think that it would be best for us to wait and you have any tips on how to not dwell on it anymore please let me know what they are! Thank you all so much in advance!

Answer 1

No!

Wait until you are ready, financially, career-wise and emotionally.

It will be the most important thing you ever do, so do it when it's best for all.

Good luck, name it after me!

Answer 2

First of all, YOU should finish your school first. you don't know how hard it is to be a mom and a student at the same time(I know I've been there and it is not even funny). after you finish school, then you can think of having a baby. That baby is going to be your life and 100% dependent and all you'll ever want to do is give him or her the best. and to give the best to a child you should be prepared emotionally, physically, and economically. you are still young, do what is your time, have fun, go out and more important finish your education. that way, along the way you won't need no one to support you. you can do it all by yourself, and if it doesn't work with the father of the baby you'll be able to BE THERE for that child. First think of making a better person of you so that you can Be a better person for the child that you so much want.
For that overwhelming feeling, once you start to study and have your mind somewhere else (like in studying to be the best), it will fade a little, still you could try a pet first, like a dog and see how you can deal with something that doesn't require that much attention and the books.
I wish i would've finish school first, it would have safe me lots of bad situations and I would've Party some, because then if you wanted to go out you couldn't cause you have a child. That is your responsability and you should not leave it with other people to go out. I mean I don't do it. I love him so much to leave him with someone and that someone could hurt him. Nah
Hope it helps

Answer 3

That is a personal decision and if you lack the ability and the sense to make it on your own the answer is probably, "No!" After all you'll be dealing with the results of your decision for the rest of your life not us. Share a pet or something you are very young and more than likely your feelings on the topic will change or mature over time. The last thing you want is to make that decision and then find yourself young and alone with a huge responsibility. Couples, excuse me young women, allow themselves to wrapped up in romantic illusions and having a baby isn't the thing to exactly cement a young relationship together. SOOOOO... Wait! Take it from someone who has been there. Besides with him in law school you'll be doing the bulk of the parenting. Why don't you go to school too, and then when your both done think about a family then.

Answer 4

Here is what I would recommend. I am serious.

Find a relative that has a very small child. Preferrably under the age of one. Call them up and tell them that they have won a great prize. You are going to take care of their baby for one entire week
24 hours a day. If they agree then take care of that baby and imagine yourself trying to study, work and go to school at the same time. It is a lot different playing with a child for a couple of hours then it is taking care of it 24 hours a day. Hopefully this child will have cholic and stay up half the night crying.

A child is a fulltime job. It is a lot of hard work and requires a huge amount of committment. Can you commit that kind of time while you and hubby are both going to school and trying to support the family.

Or will you just shove the child into day care for 11 to 12 hours a day because you both are working and studying?

Its not a toy. Its not a stuffed animal.
The way not to dwell on it is to understand that right now is not the right time and you would probably end up doing the child a great disservice unless you really can commit the time and effort to this child.

You seem to have good intentions and like you would geniunely love your child. However get your financial house in order first
then you will really be able to enjoy your baby instead of thinking of the baby as a huge burden.

Just my 2 cents.

Answer 5

To properly parent a child you need to be ALL of the following-

physically
financially
emotionally
spiritually

ready. Get your life settled FIRST. You can't return a baby if you realise you are not ready!! A baby takes a lot out of you. Think long and hard.

The joys are great as well. I am a 28 yr old mother of a 4mth old son and I was not ready. I am making it work but there are times when it is hard. There are a lot of sacrifices that I have to make and it is frustrating at times. Please, please wait!!

From your question I can tell you have doubts... This is a lifetime decision to have someone depend on you COMPLETELY for the next 18 yrs at least!!

DOn't worry about dwelling on it, go ahead, make your plans... it will give you the incentive you need to put all things in place to await the happy event!

Answer 6

Please wait until you guys are stable. I got married to my high school sweetheart and 18 and we had our first child at 19. If I could do it all over again, I would have waited. We did not get much time together to experience being a couple and enjoy one another. Children take a lot of work. Indeed, they are joy, but they come with a lot of responsibility. And when you have kids, things change. The child becomes first priority above anything else. Plus, I have been slowly going to school since then and I am barely going to graduate in May 2007. Having a child slowed my education down a lot, but I still managed. Again, I say enjoy your hubby for now and enjoy being newlyweds. Wait until you guys are completely stable.

Answer 7

First, you have to think is this going to stop you from per suing your educational career. If he goes and you don't will he be there for you and the child in the long run or will he have found someone else to settle down with. Also you have to think are you physically ready for a baby: the late nights, early morning, diapers, bottle sterilizing, all the necessities that a child needs, when the child gets sick will you know what to do. There is alot to think about if you are planning to have a baby. Don't do it just to keep your man. If it is meant for you to be together then wait until you are finished with your education and have yourselves in a promising career that will allow you to provide all that is needed for a baby. Good Luck

Answer 8

Things will be so much better if you wait. Just set your goals and try to concentrate on one at a time. You finish college, he finishes law school. He gets a job. If you try to concentrate on one thing at a time it will go faster. I'm sure you could manage if you had a baby right now, but it will be much better if you wait just a few more years. If you don't finish school now it will be much harder later, plus you'll probably have better insurance which is really important when you have kids. Good luck.

Answer 9

absolutely not. you both are young and have plenty of time to think about having children. having one now would be purely selfish, and belies your claim to be "emotionally ready" for this enormous responsibility.

are you both gainfully employed? are you ready to completely give up any social life to devote that time to your child? are you ready to work full time and go to school full or part time plus care for a child? are you ready to have to miss school and/or work (and potentially lose out on pay) on days when your child is sick (heaven forbid), or has a regular doctor's appointment (there will be at least 4 for shots in the first year), or your daycare is closed for a holiday when your school/office is not?

law school is going to take a gigantic amount of time from your partner's schedule - time that will be spent away from you and the baby. are you ready to basically be a single parent? because that is the life you are looking at if you have a baby while your partner is in law school. he may not have the time or energy when he is home to participate in regular child care when he is actually home and not working or studying or in class.

please consider waiting until you are not only better off financially, but have more time in available to devote to the additional full time job of being parents.

Answer 10

You didn't say if you are married or not, but I will answer your question assuming you are. If he is going to be in law school and you are going to be going back to school, why would you want to have a child that you won't be around to raise?? This isn't a pet that you can put in a kennel when you are too tired to play with it. This is a human being with needs and emotions. Please please please don't have a child now. Wait until you are ready more than just emotionally and financially, but able to devote the time to your child that a child needs.

Answer 11

Sweetie, if people waited until they could afford a baby.....no one would have them! I wasn't ready....and me and my husband are fine! I was 19 (he was 24) when I got pregnant. We made it just fine! Our daughter has everything she needs and mostly everything she wants. We even have a second on the way (which we planned lol)!! Babies need love, food, shelter and clothes! Everything else is just for fun, remember that! Baby Nike, Baby Gap...etc yeah it's all cute, but not needed. Plus, you'll be suprised what you'll be willing to sacrafice for cuter baby things lol! I used to LIVE for shopping for clothes, make up, shoes, purses....now it's all about baby gap and cute toys and I like it that way! My husband and I had things a little better since he was done with college and settled into a career, but still.....everything will be fine! Good Luck!!