If you are single and have never been married, have no children of your own and are in your 20's/30's, are you open to dating divorced people, with or without kids? Or is someone who fits that description unlikely to find a decent guy her own age?
Once you know someone's rocky past, do you avoid being with them?
2007-01-24 05:39:57 · 17 answers · asked by Mysterious Gryphon 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Without kids, probably not. With kids, not a chance. It's nothing personal, it's just that all this baggage is bound to cause problems sooner or later, and I'd rather nip it in the bud than take the higher risk.
As for avoiding them once you know it, that's generally what the first few dates are for. If I find something unsavory about their past that will push me away, it just becomes a measure of decreasing contact until it's down to nothing. If that doesn't work, then honesty is always a good standby.
2007-01-24 05:44:54 · answer #1 · answered by Steve 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Someone can be divorced without being at "fault" in the divorce. May I cite some cases where people I know ended up divorcing, and I would consider it no fault of one of the parties:
One of my friends ended up getting a divorce when her husband of 5 years told her he was going to apply for sex reassignment surgery! He had married her even though he had doubts, unspoken to his wife, about his sexuality. How could anyone consider that this was a fault of the wife's?
One of my friends was divorced by her husband after she had a mastectomy for breast cancer. Her husband told her he couldn't face having sex with a woman who was "mutilated." Hardly her fault, wouldn't you say?
Several of my friends got divorced from men who proved to be either abusive or unable to be faithful.
Your whole tone is that someone who has gone through a divorce is "damaged goods." That is just repugnant, IMO. Certainly you should avoid dating divorced people if you believe that anyone with a less-than-pristine past is unworthy of you, I just hope you announce your attitude in advance so that people can judge you the way you evidently feel free to judge them.
2007-01-24 05:53:49 · answer #2 · answered by Karin C 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
people can change from their rocky past and depending on how rocky their past were then i would give them a chance....on the other hand, people who have been married, they have a lot of experience in the relationship field, so if you arent too experienced then i would think twice about it because the divorcee may try to control the relationship
2007-01-24 05:44:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I never been in that position so I honestly couldn't tell you if I would date them or not. Right now I would say no because I have no baggage and I'm trying to find someone with no baggage. But I'm quite sure things would be different if I got to know a divorcee and fell in love with him. So who knows
2007-01-24 05:46:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends upon the person and the reason for divorce. How ever I am in my 30s and personally speaking, I will not date a divorcee.
2007-01-24 05:44:09 · answer #5 · answered by anecentric 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
actually everyone has biases - oh, come on, you already know you do. I actually have a bias against some scruffy dopey looking pot head who is composed of my door telling me he will shovel snow out of my driveway for $20 yet i will nonetheless hire him besides - he's the only guy offering to do it! i could be stunned. He could do a sturdy job. so which you have a bias against divorced adult males. Use that bias to discover the guy who surprises you: the guy who seems to no longer be dedication-phobic. you will come across man or woman who enjoyed being married, is a one-woman guy different than that woman is long previous so now he desires to be a one-woman guy for somebody else. no longer all divorces ensue for the comparable reason! the only bias you're able to desire to have it extremely is clever is the single that asserts 2 years is a protracted time to furnish somebody the earnings of the doubt. that's a clever bias to have.
2016-11-26 23:24:10 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have never had a problem with divorcees. Mainly the women need to be unattached. Kids are no problem. I am in my 30's.
2007-01-24 05:44:28 · answer #7 · answered by Derek Wildstar 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes i would and i have. i am engaged to a guy with a child from a previous relationship. you need to understand that the problem may not have been that person, or not that person entirely, or that person may have changed...
you need to base your decision on whether or not you and that person can make it , not on his past.
when my mother advised not to be with my fiance because of his daughter, i asked her if that was how she would want someone to look at me if i am a single parent???
remember you can not tell where you would be tom or 10 yrs down the road. would you want to be pre-judged because of a past failure no matter who's fault it was???
2007-01-24 05:50:01 · answer #8 · answered by stacy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because they are divorced it does not mean there is anything wrong with them. People make mistakes - perhaps they are perfect for you but not the ex. With the high divorce rate you would limit yourself a LOT if you rule them out.
2007-01-24 05:44:05 · answer #9 · answered by lunasage 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't think you should judge people by their pasts. The past is the past and everyone makes mistakes. I'm divorced myself and I hope that people don't judge or avoid me for that.
2007-01-24 05:43:40 · answer #10 · answered by *Cara* 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋