We've been together about 10 yrs. (I'm 27,he's 36). Our families never really supported the relationship.......We have decided to get married and WE are paying for ALL of it. We don't think we should have to include our parents names on the invitations and such because WE are paying. Is that wrong????
2007-01-24 05:17:12 · 34 answers · asked by Debbie S 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Nowadays is acceptable and quite comon to word invitations in other ways other than the traditional parents way. This is a tradition that dated from arranged marriages and royal families, and are now outdated . Most people don't do it and opt for a more personal message.
If you are doing this out of spite, then refrain. This is just going to upset them even more, so if asked, tell your families that you wanted something more contemporary since evidentely, you are both grown and not living at home anymore. Do not tell them that you omit their names because you are hurt about them not supporting you.
You can find samples of how to word invitations in websites such as www.theknot.com and www.theweddingchannel.com
Congratulations and good luck
2007-01-24 05:46:53 · answer #1 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope, not wrong at all. When I got married I bought this book that helps you plan the wedding step by step. When it came time for the invitations, it showed several different ways to write them out and the first rule of thumb is parents don't have to be on the invitations, especially if they aren't paying. The names of the parents are supposed to be on there if they are footing part of the bill or helping out in some way. Since they aren't, I would say just leave them off and make them out for just you and your future hubby! congrats!
2007-01-24 05:24:15 · answer #2 · answered by redheadedmom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is something you will regret later. Whether or not your parents are contributing to the wedding expenses, they should still be invited. Some day you'll have children--their grandchildren--would you like those children to see wedding photos in which their grandparents are absent?
Because of rising wedding costs, and low wages, many couples are paying for their own weddings. That does not mean that the parents will not give them a nice gift. Then, it's not about gifts or money--it's about family.
If the parents are totally against this marriage, even after 10 years, they should still receive invitations. If they don't attend, then it's on them.
2007-01-24 05:24:25 · answer #3 · answered by Holiday Magic 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No, the people who are paying are the ones who do the inviting. For example, when the parents pay, it would say something like "Mr. and Mrs. Groomsfather, together with Mr. and Mrs. Bridesfather invite you to the wedding of their children, Bride and Groom..."
Since you're the one doing the paying, you do the inviting. You have two options basically (of course, you can play with the wording, but the general idea):
John Groom and Jane Bride
request the honor of your presence
at their wedding
or
We invite you to celebrate with us
the wedding of
John Groom
Son of Bob and Betty Groom
and Jane Bride
Daughter of Barry and Beth Bride
The second one doesn't quite say who's inviting, but doesn't imply that parents are inviting like the first example I gave you. Another way is to "sign" it rather than include the names at the very top.
That's what we did for our announcements. We didn't have invitations, it was a destination wedding, so you can adjust to invite rather than announce. And yes, we paid for it ourselves. =)
Our announcements read:
Just Married!
We joyfully announce our marriage,
which took place
_day, the _th of _, 200_
at
The Valley of Fire State Park, Nevada
HisName LastName
and
MyName MaidenName LastName
2007-01-24 05:53:53 · answer #4 · answered by calliope320 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't know if it's wrong, etiquette-wise, but this is one of those "you can't unring a bell" situations where you can't undo the consequences of the decision you make. I think that's the issue you need to be dealing with-- whether leaving your parents' names off the invitations will cause a widening of a rift you have with your families.
Do your parents have any expectation that their names will be on the invitations? If they do, and you leave their names off, what is this going to do to the relationship you have with them? Is that the direction you want the relationship to go, considering all possibilities for things that can happen in a family, both happy and tragic?
I think it's clearly your decision to make, but I also think you need to be very clear in your own mind about how you will feel about whatever consequences your decision has, not just now, but in the future. Because you can't unring the bell once you've chosen to ring it.
2007-01-24 05:29:47 · answer #5 · answered by Karin C 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you should put their names on the invites as a way to honor them, and so people know who they are. there will be a lot of strangers meeting each other, presumably, and will want to be able to say "Oh, you're so-and-so, and the bride is your daughter, how nice..." and all that.
you will probably feel dumb in the future for leaving their names off because you thought they should have contributed money.
you guys are 27 and 36, which is probably old enough to not need financial support from parents any more anyways.
2007-01-24 05:23:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
When my wife and I got married we were not helped financially in any way. After seeing a friend of ours in a similar position spending their first 10 years in debt to £25,000 from a big wedding my wife and I got married cheaply!
We bought the rings in Half Price Jewellers - £40
Wedding Cake was a Christmas Cake redecorated £10
Venue was a Registry Office
Dress was a sale dress from Bay Trading £20
The whole wedding cost us £250 including reception and rings!
We didnt invite the parents but regret not doing so - you will never be allowed to forget it and when the children come along you want to have a good relationship with them!
2007-01-24 05:22:36 · answer #7 · answered by rodandalisonthompson 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well my parents are covering the wedding expenses, however, I liked to include everyone & didn't like my wording options to list both sets of parents. We decided on "Together with their parents..." for our invites. Had nothing to do with who is paying, just what we liked best. No one was offended & it hasn't been questioned. With your situation, I really see nothing wrong with not listing parents on the invites.
2007-01-24 15:39:39 · answer #8 · answered by layla983 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's wrong at all. My husband and I 46 and 39 respectivley paid for all of our wedding by ourselves. Our invitations said that Steve and Kelly request the honour of your presence as we celebrate our love. There are at lot of ways to words your invitations. A lot of the on line ordering places have great ideas touse. Good Luck!
2007-01-24 05:38:27 · answer #9 · answered by kcastillo1220 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, not wrong, and very appropriate. The invitation is sent by the people who are "hosting" the wedding. Traditionally, that's been the bride's parents, but now it's frequently the couple themselves. My sister and her fiance are sending their invites....they're paying the whole wedding themselves. The first part is something like this:
Come join us
Sue and Mark
as we pledge ourselves to each other...
yadda yadda....
2007-01-24 05:22:58 · answer #10 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋