i have low self-esteem, can anyone help me?

Question

i have no friends and no girlfriend because of my low self-esteem but i desperatly want to find friends and a girlfriend. also i find myself staying in the house, going on the computer and fantasise about humiliation and dressing as a girl. can any boy/girl help me with stoping my sick interests i have developed and improve my self-esteem so i can find friends and a girlfriend. please help me turn into a normal 19 year old boy.

Answer 1

Andrew, you're just trying to find out who you are really. You have to be strong for now and not act upon it.
As you know, it's part of the teenage developement to go through that phase of :who am I?
And not knowing whether they are interested in girls or boys.
But before they know it, it's normally over.
The fact that you have no friends and therefore don't interact with other people your own age is making it more difficult for you.
Possibly you've heard too many times when you were growing up people criticising you and never finding something good to say about you; Never noticing your efforts and the things you were good at.
So, it's up to you now to do it.
Don't expect approbation from everybody. First, try and see what is important for you.
What do you believe in?
What do you respect? Why?
Who would you like to be like? Morally and possibly physically.
You cannot be someone else, because you are YOU and you are UNIQUE.
But by copying this and that from good people you value, that'll help you feel better.
Besides, you need to find what are the good points about yourself, and keep working at them.
As for the friends part, yes, it's not healthy to remain on the computer all the time and try to make friends on there only.
Try your local library, they always have adds asking for help to do some project in your area.
Give it a go.
It will be a good start and the opportunity to try something different, rise to a challenge and meet real people.
Good luck.xxx

Answer 2

Self-esteem can be helped by going out and just taking the risks. And keep trying! Find activities that you like doing and it's more likely that the girls/boys there will have something in common with you. Whenever you think about yourself, don't think about what you don't like, think about what you do like. Always stay true to yourself because trying to be someone else never works. But the fantasy thing probably won't go away. You can try and force it to, but it won't work. That's part of you (and it's more common than you might think). Accept the fact that these fantasies are part of who you are and what you want, and you will find your self confidence has already improved ;)

Answer 3

First of all, what is "normal" ? Don't be so hard on yourself. Whether people want to admit it or not, we've all had our secret fantasies. We've all wondered if we were "normal" or not. You are not any different than the rest of us. Get out of the house and off the computer. Join a health club, or go to public places where you are apt to meet kids your age. Try to build your self-esteem by remembering that you are a unique person. Write a list of your good qualities, and read them everyday. Tell yourself you are good, loving, and a worthy person. It never hurts to seek counseling either. It gives you the opportunity to explore yourself and to grow psychologically. Best wishes!

Answer 4

Ummm. Making friends on the internet is a good start at meeting people. Yahoo! Games is a fun place too.

Find some clubs and social centres in your neighbourhood that have good activities where you can meet people. Places where you can be active and helpful will help you feel fulfilled and meeting people and exchanging interests will bolster your self-esteem.

If you're comfortable in a dress, turn it to an advantage. You might want to consider acting in theatre or if you happen to have good taste, check out the fashion world!

Answer 5

There is no magic want that will help you here. Low self esteem develops over many years and becomes a vicious circle. You dont have friends so your self esteem is low and because your self esteem is low you dont find any friends.

Why dont you find yourself a good church to do to?

If you are anywhere near North Wales Id meet up with you.

Answer 6

Actually, and please don't take this the wrong way, because there's such a stigma about this in our society, but I think therapy might be a good idea for you. It will boost your self-esteem because you're doing something to correct your problems and eventually with enough work you'll be fine.

I definitely know this feeling. Another answer might be to join a club if you're in college or take up a hobby. You could take classes at a community college if you're not in college. Anything to go out and meet people. A job might work too, especially one where you get to talk and interact with people.\

Good luck!

Answer 7

First thing's first... if you're fantasizing about humiliation and cross-dressing, that might just be what you're into... and the first step in improving your life is accepting that, learning about other people with the same interests and how they balance it in their lives.

As for being "a normal 19 year old boy"... there is no "normal" life. There's just life.

Answer 8

particular that's genuine.those that have low self-properly worth all have it from diverse motives in there existence.One could experience unattractive,because of the fact of facial helpful aspects or physique aspects,and so on.especially situations whilst human beings unconsciously entice abusive human beings its,because of the fact they have witnessed abuse of their lifetime so even however its incorrect and it hurts its what they're used to. it extremely is not an trouble-free element to regulate.so some distance as your self-properly worth do no longer subject approximately what human beings seem as though or what vogue traits are in. Do what seems sturdy on you. Ex. coiffure,makeup,clothing,and so on.save telling your self you look sturdy and with your great character that no you are able to splendid you.finally others will see that your helpful and have not any decision yet to understand and renowned you.then you definately will consciously make the splendid judgements approximately who you date on account which you will care adequate approximately your self.

Answer 9

I can help you here, I've dealt with low self esteem myself What you need to do, is dress cool, casual, and think of some words (lines) to ask a woman, and when you go somewhere say hello and ask about how their doing and just talk as casual as you dress and you cannot go wrong...You'll find some friends and a woman too

Answer 10

First stop all this makeup stuff. You can't use it to hide behind.
Then go and book some sessions with a counsellor (don't know how you spell it lol) who will talk you through your problems and help you.
Get involved in charity work - anything that gets you talking to other people.
If you haven't got a job, get one. Or go to university/college/church.

Good luck.