I am 4 mo. pregnant and our 2 yr. old still sleeps with us. Help me get him to his own bed. Panicky !!!?

Question

Our two year old was a breast fed baby and we are very bonded. He has been sleeping with us from day one. I also plan to breast feed the next child.

Answer 1

I had the same problem. I read somewhere you had to ween them from your bed just like everything else so i put a sleeping bag under our bed. We would start my child in her bed but if it became unbearable she was allowed to sleep in our room on the sleeping bag not our bed. It worked wonders. You have to stay commited but it does work! Best of luck!

Answer 2

I think you should start getting him involved in the pregnancy. Tell him what is going to happen and that he is now a big boy. Do you already have a room for him ready? Go to that room and tell him that this a big brother room and ask him what he thinks a big brother room needs. Go shopping with him and buy him some things that may comfort him being in the room by himself. Show him the sonogram that you had and tell him that baby needs to grow inside mommy's tummy just like he did. Go over baby pics with him and teach him to sleep on his own, because he needs to be big now.
Make time e.g. on Saturday mornings he can come in for a cuddle.
It is kind of late starting it only now, but if you keep explaining what is happening he will understand and not make it as big as an issue.
If he starts crying when in his bed, talk to him, but don't take him to your bed, because then he'll realize that going to work and he'll be doing it all the time.

Good luck.

Answer 3

I had that same problem. But I bought a toddler bed a few months ago and now my 21 month old daughter loves to sleep in her big girl bed. Sometimes children sense your discomfort about a new situation so try to stay calm and explain to your son that you will be in the next room, try to develop a bedtime routine like reading his favorite story or just sitting in his room talking and praise him for being a big boy when he does sleep in his bed. When you do make that transition always keep a clear path between his room and your room so he won't feel alone.

Answer 4

I have the exact same problem. I had my little girl when my son was almost three. My son had slept in bed with us since he was about 6 months old. What I did was I wanted her bed in our room so that I could be close to her and even though our room was a little crowded I put his toddler bed in there too. I always showed him that his baby sister was sleeping in her own bed and that made him want to be a big boy and sleep in his bed too. After a few weeks of that I moved both of their beds back into their rooms and he's been fine ever since.

Answer 5

1) Put him in the crib.

2) Sit in chair about 3 ft. away from crib and do NOT let him leave the crib.

3) Go to bed when he falls asleep.

4) If he wakes up and comes into your room or cries for a long time (more than 10 min.)...

5) Repeat steps 1-3.

Every night increase the distance between you and the crib by another 2 ft. or so, until you've worked your way up to just putting him in the crib, kissing him goodnight, and leaving.

Good luck!

Answer 6

Well at least maybe you've learned your lesson not to SLEEP with the next child. You need to just put your 2 year old in their own bed, NOW. If they cry, let them. If they get up, gate the door so they can't get out. Do you seriously think you are more bonded with your child than normal people who's kids sleep in their own beds? You do that for YOUR OWN EMOTIONAL NEEDS not for your baby's well being. Now all of you will have to pay the price of a painful experience getting him out of your bed.

Answer 7

I'm sure you already understand that letting him sleep with you from day 1 was a mistake.

It is possible - I know women who've done it - to allow your newborn to sleep in his or her own room. In the middle of the night, wake up at certain times and feed. Not only do they survive, the children benefit from not being so clingy.

Start tonight with the 2 year old. Dad will thank you.

Answer 8

You need to step up to the plate and be the PARENT!
A child should NEVER sleep with the parents! It's ok to have the crib in your room until he/she is 1 and then the crib MUST be placed in their own room. You've created a very BAD habit and must stop this immediately. Do NOT let the next child sleep with you either!

I nursed all 3 of my children, they never slept in our room and I bonded extremely well with all 3.

Answer 9

We did this, too, and we had success with moving my daughter to a bed next to ours, where I could hold her hand from my bed. Then after she adjusted to that we moved her across the room, out of reach.

Then we made a big deal of making up her room & moving her there --> all before brother showed up, so she didn't feel kicked out b/c of him. We never fix up a "nursery" -- instead we make a big deal out of them moving to their own room when they are "big kids" and fix up their rooms then.

With my son, I noticed the change in comfort from cosleeping being easier to being harder happened around 4 months. This is also about the time that the benefit of cosleeping to decrease SIDS starts to wane, too. At that time I moved him to a side-car type bed next to ours. By the time he was 6 months old he slept easily on his own but was still accessible during the night. He slept all on his own & all through the night every night shortly after that.

I think the 2nd time around worked much better because he slept through the night faster, goes to bed easier on his own even now. My first child is in school now & still doesn't sleep well on her own. Partly this is personality, partly I think we didn't teach her good sleeping habits early.

Your son is old enough to start talking to him about being a big boy and having his own bed!

Answer 10

Good luck! I had the same problem and now my daughter is 4 and my son is 21months and I still cant get them out of my bed!!! All i can say is starting now you need to start putting your 2 year old in his bed if he gets up just keep picking him up and put him back to his bed . It will take hours but you need to do what u have to do. after a while he will get sick of it and end up just knowing that your bed is not his bed anymore! Good luck and congrats on the pregnancy!