What happened to my 1 1/2 yo son's bed time routine ????

Question

He has always been good about bed time. We have a routine..movie, snack and then bed time between 8:30 - 9:00 with no problem. Lately he doesn't want to go to bed. I don't believe in the "cry it out" method. Max I'll let him cry is 5 mins. So I go get him sit in the livingroom and he calms down immediatly. After an hour or so, he falls asleep and I put him to bed. His day time nap or naps have not changed, his bedroom hasn't changed..nothing. This has been going on for 2 wks. Oh also he keeps pointing and wants to go the pantry..but when I show him snacks he pushes them away, so pretty sure he is not hungry, just using that as an excuse.

Has anyone gone through this and what did you do ???

BTW. I have always put him to bed while he was still awake.

BTW. I have always put him to bed while he was still awake. So he knows how to put himself to sleep.

WOW Great suggestions !! Thanks to all of you. I will try the timer and let him cry it out a little longer.

THANKS AGAIN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 1

He is realizing independence.

It used to be that mom put you to bed, that was it - it was bedtime. He is realizing that there are choices, and delaying things can allow him to remain up longer. And, believe it or not, you have "rewarded" this behavior by getting him up out of bed and allowing him to stay up if he cries.

What to do? Depends. If he doesn't have to get up in the morning, then what is the harm allowing him to stay up a little longer. If he is sleeping a little later, then allowing him to remain up is not going to really harm him.

Maybe he is looking for a little extra attention from mommy. Has something gone on lately that has taken you away from him a little? Work, or family issues? Or is there something stressing you? Kids pick up on all of this. He may just want some extra love from mom, and feels that falling asleep with you is the key. The "risk" doing that? He will "need" you to fall asleep. I don't recommend doing that extra, but if you maybe sit with him and snuggle while you watch the movie and have a snack, it will satisfy this.

The last thing I can think of is maybe "timing" the snack. We used to have an issue with the end of bath time, and I incorporated a simple kitchen timer (just a couple of bucks), and set the timer for 20 minutes. When the bell goes off - end. I think that having a "set" amount of time for the snack will work. Maybe 15 minutes, setting the timer. When the timer dings, it is bed time - no negotiations or delays. It is not magic - he will take some time to learn what it means, but you using it in the routine might help with some "added" structure. Maybe due to the past, with him "negotiating" extra time, the bedtime routine has become skewed. See if this helps. He may cry for the first night or so, but it will become part of the routine. And another "fun" thing for him - allow him to help turn the dial. My daughter loves that!

Good luck!

Answer 2

My son is 17 months old and he is beginnig to cry when I put him down I let him cry for 20 min and then he falls asleep. I don't like hearing him cry but I know he is tired but just wants to play some more and wants to be with me. It is normal because between 16-18 months a child usually does not want to leave the primary caregiver (usually Mommy). It just means he wants you and doesn't want to be without you which can feel good in a way but can be frustrating when you have things you need to get done. It means he is bonded to you and misses you when you leave him. As far as pointing I'm not sure my son points to the fridge and I usually give him milk sometimes he wants it and sometimes not. Maybe he just wants to look inside don't you ever just open the pantry or fridge and then turn right around because there is nothing in there that will suit your craving at the time?...

Answer 3

He's learning you. He's learned that if he crys he's able to get out of bed and stay up for another hour. Try putting him to bed and if he crys instead of taking him out of bed go into the room but stay in there and rub his back and talk to him while he's still laying in his bed. Don't pick him up or anything, just talk to him or sing or even read a book. You have to let him know you're in control. Also maybe you should start the "bed-time wind down" routine earlier if you can. Also try giving him a bath before bed...baths usually always put my daughter in "sleep mode" After the bath rub him down w/lotion or baby oil and put on his pjs....wouldn't you be ready to sleep after all that???

Answer 4

It's because you don't believe in the cry it out method that he's pulling this stuff.

Look, if you would have taught him how to put himself to sleep at an earlier age he would be able to do it now and you wouldn't have this problem.

You need to let him cry it out. It won't kill him. Let him cry for 10-15 minutes and go in his room. Tell him "lay down" or "time for bed" and then rub his back or sing to him. Don't pick him up, don't take him to the living room, don't feed him. He probably doesn't know what he wants when he wakes up, he just knows that he's awake therefore he shouldn't be trapped in his bed.

Let him cry it out..it's not mean, it's tough love.

Answer 5

my daughter started that around 3; i did the cry it out method and it works; (no i didn't leave her screaming for hours...) i would check on her 5 minutes after she started get her calmed down in the room; with the light OFF; then waited 10 minutes and went in and reassured her again with the lights off; and increased it by 5 minutes; each time and i never made it to the 20 minute mark; i would try reading a book after movie time; in his bedroom and start the bedroom routine 1/2 hour earlier to compensate; i would check his nap times too; maybe 1 needs to be shortened?? its a guessing game really; and what worked for me and my daughter may not work for you and your son.... finding your niche with him that will be comfortable to the both of you is the struggle and sometimes it does take a few weeks. good luck!!

Answer 6

Maybe his nap or naps are more than he needs and he is just not sleepy. Try cutting his nap time to an 1 hr or 1.5 hrs. if it doesn't work in a week then you may have to try the Nanny routine. (You know stay in the room, motionless not speaking putting him back into bed until he falls asleep.)

Answer 7

He's getting older and testing you. He realizes that you will not allow him to cry himself to sleep. He really is sleepy though. You can tell since he falls asleep within an hour of fighting it. The only thing you can do is let him fight it himself and let him learn how to fall asleep on his own again.

Answer 8

Bedtime is Bedtime.
He's getting to the age where he is going to try to TRAIN you.
Old expression is TERRIBLE 2's
If you don't want him to 'cry it out', then your best option is to 'sit' with him in his bedroom until he falls asleep.
TV will stimulate him, as well as giving him a 'treat' for acting out.
You shouldn't let him nap after noontime. This only rests him up.
I also sat with my boys, Bedtime book reading was only after they were tucked in, then gradually moved to a chair then out of the room.

Answer 9

We went through something similar with our son a few years ago. We ended up eliminating the bedtime movie. At 18 months they are starting to process info differently and watching tv can stimulate them more than relax them.

Answer 10

you let him take over the household. now he is the boss and he knows it. you better get control again.