My wife wants to join the Air Force?

Question

My wife wants to join the Air Force, but has her reservations about doing so, but she keeps telling others that i'm the one holding her back, when in fact i'm the one supporting her in her choices. Is she saying this because she really doesn't want to go?

Answer 1

Because you are. Maybe she realizes that you would have to give up your job each time she gets transferred. What if she got stationed in Germany? What job will you do to feel like a man? Female spouses do it, get a part time job at the base coffee shop and make friends with the other mommas. But for a guy? I suppose in this day and age it could be done but when she first joins up she won't be making anything.

She needs to decide if she wants to be married or not because odds are your marriage will end at some point if she joins. That is just the reality. Telling others that you are holding her back? This is wrong on so many levels. This is not an "others" conversation. It's you and her making the biggest decision possible that effects two peoples future.

To have her even ponder this doesn't bode well. She doesn't go and she will resent you. She goes and well.... like I said. She needs to decide either way. Don't be so willing to support her on this. She may resent you for not trying hard enough to talk her into staying actually. Say that you don't think it's a good idea but you will support her if she really wants to do it and understands the ramifications.No back and forth having the same conversation over and over. Regardless there is some sort of problem here.

Answer 2

Hello Octavio. You can't stop your wife from joining the military. Once she does you can see your marriage coming to an end. 1. AF people don't move all the time. It costs the AF too much money. AF people move about every 4 - 6 years depending on their job. First termers have to move, of course, for training: A. 9 1/2 weeks at basic training at Lackland AFB, Texas B. A technical school in Texas, Mississippi, or California (you can't come and live with her she lives in the barracks) for 2 - 12 months depending on the job she gets. Most schools are 4 - 6 months long. C. Goes to her first active duty AF base and stays there for the rest of her enlistment. Take this word: "deployment" and toss it out of your mind. AF doesn't deploy like the Army and Marines do. Navy is always "deployed" because that is what ships do - they sail for 50% or more out of a year's time. AF does send selected people to the war zone as a "deployment" for 6 months at a time with 18 - 24 months back in their home base before maybe (maybe) having to go again. It all depends on the job. No. AF does not give spouses jobs on base. You can apply to Civilian Personnel Office on base for a job and if you do then take "anything" that is open or you won't work! If YOU also join you won't see each other anymore. You will be trained in a different job than she has and that is because your skills and aptitudes are "different" than hers. And, there is NO guarantee that you will be stationed at the same base as she. You could be hundreds of miles away from each other and you would only see each other for 60 days a year based on you both taking your routine military leave and visiting the other. Like I say, long distant relationships do not work and you will both soon find out that you no longer have concerns for each other's life and you will divorce. She is not going to be making babies for 4 years. Maybe the reason she is joining the military is to keep from having a family and she wants to use the military as an excuse to break up the marriage. Joining the military is always an "excuse" for breaking up a relationship because we can say: "the military sent me there and I have no control over it." But, you do because you "know" before you enlist that this will happen. Will the marriage break up? Probably so once the other person realizes that they no longer share a life together. That happens and we men never really know that "that" is the real underlying reason that a wife "decides" to join the military. You don't have to worry about guys getting fresh with you wife. You have to worry about "her" being out "looking" for a replacement for you. I'm being "frank." Best wishes, Larry Smith Senior Master Sergeant, USAF (Ret.) First Sergeant

Answer 3

I am a firm believer that if someone really wants to do something, then he/she will. Since you are being supportive of the choice she makes, I believe she may very well not be sure what she wants to do. With the recent Troop escalation, her fear may be that she will be sent to Iraq. And she would be correct, I almost gurantee she'll be deployed at some point. My son has already been twice.

Answer 4

Its hard to say man. The Air Force is a steady thing to do in the military depending on her station. Air Force offers many opportunities in life. She should definitely go.

Answer 5

Yes, I think so. Maybe she doesn't want to sound cowardly about going in the military so she is using you as an excuse? Maybe you should talk to her more about the reasons why she wants to join and if she has any worries. Whatever the reasons, I think you should support her. We all lie about silly things. :)

Answer 6

Yep. She's trying to get the honor of serving in the military without actually doing so.

Answer 7

I believe she doesn't want to go, but she wants to feel as though she's doing something useful and positive in her life. Maybe you can suggest another way for her to be productive and not be so far away from you.

Answer 8

Call her out on it. If you are with friends call it out in front of them. Tell her that you don't like it when she uses you as an excuss not to go.

Answer 9

It's possible. You need to talk to her about it, tho & find out from her why she keeps telling people that.

Answer 10

Never really understood why anyone would want to put their fate in someone else's hands! :-)=