When spanking does not work, how should one appropriately discipline a young child?

Answer 1

I think spanking should be the last resort, if any. The punishment should fit the crime otherwise how is the lesson learned? Kids are possessive, taking away the things they love hurts them a great deal. Also, chores hurt as well, the type that require alot of time and elbow grease. But whichever punishment you choose completely depends on the age of the child and what they did wrong. When your first reaction is to just start beating on them, not only do they adapt to that and it stops bothering them as much (forcing u to hit them more or harder which is abuse), they come to think that all of their own dilemmas should be handled with physical violence and hitting other children when they're upset. That's not fair.

Answer 2

Well, it is likely that the child did something horrible to get them self in the position to be spanked. For starters, make sure that you follow through with your punishment, do not continuously threaten to spank, and not follow through with the punishment--this generally works wonders considering the child knows that "you are talking business". If spanking does not work, take away a privilege, something that means a lot to the child. Music, going out, TV, etc.

Answer 3

I think it's stupid to teach children not to hit, yet hit them when they do something wrong. I really don't think I will spank, but I am also a first time mom w/ a 3 month old & if there is one thing you should not do is pop off about what you will & wont do w/ a child before you get to that stage in their life. Spanking is not for me personally, but if I see somebody give a kid (who is acting bratty) a quick swat on the butt, I really don't see the problem w/ it & don't think they are horrible for doing it. I don't ever think it should be hard though & under the age of 2 is just horrible. It makes the person doing it look like an idiot. But I grew up getting my butt swatted & I turned out fine & was not abused by any mean. Again though, it kind of defeats the purpose of telling a child not to hit.

Answer 4

my first choice of discipline is the time out if the child is young enough, 1 minute for every age. Then I would go to taking away a favorite toy or privilege. if the child is old enough, sentences work for my children. I would not go to spanking first.

Answer 5

Well, I don't really believe in spanking but I have done it a couple times. I usually resort to them standing in the corner (not leaning on the wall) for a couple min. It seems to work with them cause they can hear their sibling playing in the backround. The kids are 4 and 6 right now so it works right now. We'll see about later in life. Good luck

Answer 6

Cause and effect, consistently used.

Tantrum costs time, so the child has to pay back that time with chores.
Clear a child's room completely except for the mattress and let the child earn things back with good behavior. Make a list of every single thing the child enjoys that is NOT A NECESSITY. It is a luxury. Luxuries are lost when people misbehave.

Answer 7

well, from living with a bunch of kids in the house growing up, my family didnt even bother spanking them cuz it never worked to get the point across, what my older family members did was they would either bring us to the corner and have us stay there and if we kept leaving she would just keep putting us back until we calmed down. Also dont try to yell cuz it doesnt really do anything other than strain your voice , just to sit them down and talk to them and hopefully you can come across some kind of agreement. Try to set up some activities to have you and the kids involved, you would find that working together you gain more respect as a parent.

Answer 8

I think a spanking should be the "last line of defense". If a spanking isn't working, then I would place the child in their room and close the door, because all that anything will become is anger, and that is dangerous when it is an adult against a child.

Answer 9

Try reading the books in the LOVE AND LOGIC SERIES by Dr Jim Fay and Charles Fey. There is no spanking involved. Children learn to think and make choices through their own actions and consequences that occur from those actions.

The four basic principles are:
Build the Self Concept
Share the Control
Offer Empathy then Consequence
Share the Thinking

It all sounds very psychobabble really, but it does work, on my 16 month old and even on my VERY independent three year old.

I am currently re-reading LOVE AND LOGIC MAGIC FOR EARLY CHILDHOOD. We have moved away from the techniques we have learned and my three year old is back to her old ways, so I am refreshing my memory and implementing this back into our lives.

Good luck

Answer 10

Although i was spanked as a little girl i have found that i get my 8yr old daughters attention better when i have her sit in the corner and write how ever many times that she will not be ______(fill in the offense) hers is usually talking to me with a fresh tone i find that that really helps as she associates that with time out and as she has put it "she is not a baby" ... then another thing that my friend (who has little boys) does is she makes them do push ups and honestly it seems to bring them right about. Hope this helps a little