Well after my sister (peace keeper) move out 4 yrs ago things have gone down hill with my family! i finally unoffically moved out of my mums house two years ago and have been staying at YMCA, with friend and my sister ever since. i sort of did the whole teenage rebelion thing. I kind of hung out with the wrong croud (the punk, outcasts, emo etc) the sort of people who drink, do drugs and recently my best friend got arssted! i tink tats what made me realise that thing have to change, me and my friend got into a fight with some these other posh preppy kids and we all got arrested, i spent the nite in prison but my friend was charged with asolt! I'm going to be 16 in three weeks and i gotta change - i havent spocken to my folks in a while and its my dads 50th next week they are having a big party and i wasnt invite! ive got him a present,and i really want to sort it out while i still can please help me! What should i do?
2007-01-24 03:20:22 · 25 answers · asked by Lil Sofi 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
My answer might not be what most people would expect . first of all youre not even 16 you belong at home. It is achilds job to make mistakes.I would not have allowed 2 years of non-communication with one of my children. Your parents have a responsibility to take their children for better or worse to love them and forgive them for their mistakes life is a journey and some of the roads they choose are rougher than others. YOu have gone the wrong path you have learned from it hurray!!Now it isyour parents turn to learn from their mistakes .I recently lost my daughter and I would give anything to have her back. She was my wild child and my free spirit unique like no other person i know. I cant tell you how many times she took off to hang out with bad friends,I always went looking for her to let her know That my love is unconditional and Iloved her for who she was and not for who i wanted her to be. that is a parents job! we brought you into the world we owe you not the other way around .A parent must try until all hope is lost.And only death can end that hope. So call your parents and tell them how you feel and what youve learned and what you wish for yourself and for them. Tell them what you dream about .Iam sorry to sound so angry but I guess that this is where Iam in my journey of grief. I just feel that as parents we dont have the right to walk away from our children.I know that my mother never let me rn from her and I was her wild child and free spirit. So go give your father his gift that you bought out of love and then show him your letter and mine,so he understands that where there is love and life there is always hope for a brighter and happier tomorrow.
I wish you luck and happiness
2007-01-28 13:13:08 · answer #1 · answered by broken heart 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do call them and tell them you would like to talk to them - somewhere "neutral". Tell them what you have written here, honestly admit your faults in the situation and explain to them that you see the need to change your life for the better and you would like their help and emotional support to do so. Above all, apologize for your past behaviors, too.
Do not engage in any finger pointing, name calling, blame throwing. What is done is done and you can only go on from here.
Regarding your Dad's birthday. I agree that you should deliver the present to the house, but do not attend the party unless you are specifically invited. There are some wounds that will need to heal on both sides and you should not put yourself into a position that will aggravate them until the amends have been made. Delivering the gift, then politely stepping back out of the immediate picture shows you care, but that you will respect their feelings, too.
Hopefully the fences will be mended soon, but that first step will have to be made and it will be tough.
2007-01-24 03:31:03 · answer #2 · answered by Road Warrior 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
At the time, your dad made a poor judgment. but if he wants to communicate with you, you should give him a chance. Just because he stopped loving you mother doesn't mean he stopped being your father or stopped loving you. Maybe it is not a good idea to see him at a big party because first of all you both need to spend quality time together. If you go to this party and he can not spend Q time with you, you may become more resentful. If you can not find time before the party, make sure you realize that even though you are very important to him, it is a party and people will be there to see him. And make plans to meet and talk soon. Communication is very important. Good luck!
2016-05-24 04:17:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you have finally cone to your senses.
Go round and visit the family, ideally when you think they will all be in. Explain that you know that you have treated them badly and that you have made some big mistakes. Let them know that you have changed a lot in the last couple of years and that you really want to make them proud.
Sit down and think about the way you could improve your life, i.e. going to college or getting a job.
Tell them your plans and ask if they can forgive you. Let them know that you understand they may not be able to forgive straight away but you would like to earn back their trust.
Take the present round, give it to your dad just before you leave.
Make sure you apologise before you leave.
2007-01-24 03:31:28 · answer #4 · answered by Scottish Girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could make yourself look presentable arrive with the present and a card in which you should have written an apology for your the way you have acted. Ask to see him and give him the present, if you are able to ask if you can stay for an hour if he says no or seems unhappy to see you leave the present and card with someone for him (make sure you have given him a way of contacting you if he wants to) and wait if in 3-4 months you still havent heard from him try and contact him again. Do not make a scene this wont solve anything.
2007-01-24 03:28:43 · answer #5 · answered by Joanne A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can you get your Mum to mediate? You need to sit down with her and tell her you want to change but you need some guidance from her. You could also try writing your Dad a letter explaining why you think you behaved the way you did and that you'd like to be reconciled with him. Let him know that you love him and your Mum and you need their help to sort yourself out. You should get away from the "friends" who are leading you in the wrong direction and ask for help from your sister also. You must love and respect your parents if they deserve it. Be prepared for this to take a little time so you must be patient and learn a little humility.
2007-01-24 03:34:10 · answer #6 · answered by ☞H.Potter☜ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've already answered your own question, Your parents will not trust, respect or want to be in your presence until they feel you have earn't this! Do exactly as you've described, sort out your life, get back on the straight and narrow...prove to them that you are not like that any more and they will accept you. Again the big thing here is proving it to them, not just saying your going to or that you know what you need to change.
2007-01-25 06:57:17 · answer #7 · answered by Chill_Out 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
good on you , you have realised soon enough to make it right but you can't expect anyone to believe you changed overnight .
why not write your dad a letter explaining what you've realised and apologising for the past , send him your gift with the letter and say you don't want to embarrass him by turning up at his party but you would like to see him the day after just to say happy birthday .
this would show you to be thinking of him rather than yourself an suggests that you have in fact changed , it wouldn't suprise me if you got an invite just for that .
your dad loves you you just didn't want to be loved , a typical teenager !
2007-01-24 03:33:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldnt show up to the party if i were you... that will only cause major problems. I would call them and tell them you want to talk to them, but do it face to face it usually means more. When you do talk to them tell them that you are sorry for all taht you put them through and recent events have made you realize taht things have to change, and you want to begin by getting you family back. If you really want to give him the present I would honestly go by there when no one is home and leave it by the door so that they know you remembered and they know you still care, but it wont cause an issue. I hope it all works out for you dear.
2007-01-24 03:28:02 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The good thing is that you recognise that it is time to change.
See if you can get to arrange to meet with your parents before the party. Your parents could be feeling quite hurt and exhausted with your behaviour but it is at this meeting that you could act calm and assure them that you are willing to calm down and ask permission to able to attend the party.
It is at the party that your behaviour will demonstrate how far you have come by not getting drunk, arguing or causing any trouble.
Good Luck!
2007-01-24 07:05:03 · answer #10 · answered by smiler 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋