i cannot forgive myself please help me?

Question

i have this friend that i care for so much. i love her and she is perfect. i may be only 15 but i care so strongly for this person that my life has become devoted to her. i am always thinking about her.always.

i have only one regret in my life. but it is haunting me.

me and my friend used to get on so well (still do) but before, she seemed more intersted in me. my regret is simple:

i cannot forgive myself for not telling my friend how i flelt towards her or making the first move when i could have actually had a chance.

i feel that if i had done things differently than we could have been more than friends. but because i didnt take any action when she liked me - we are not.

this will probably sound stupid to most of you but i dont think i will ever stop loving her.

if she has never loved me than i know that whatever i did back then we wouldnt have been more thn m8s

but what if she did like me? than what do i do? i would have been able to have the girl of my dreams

Answer 1

I think Eddie Vedder sang this question best.....

I know some day you'll have a beautiful life.
I know you'll be a sun in somebody elses sky
But why not mine?

As someone that went through a situation a lot like this. Tell her how you feel about her.

Unless you want to go through the rest of your life regretting never done it. Then keep your damn trap shut.

Answer 2

Okay so first off, try not to regret it-- everything happens for a reason.

If you really think this girl is your everything and you would be with her forever I would try to hint at being more than friends with her. Try not to over power it all of a sudden because then it may scare her.

You mentioned that she use to seem more interested in you than now but think of it this way. Maybe she still is interested in you but because she likes you she has to turn her time and her interest other places because she does not think you are interested in her.

Just remember that dating and having a love life will always mean you have to take chances. You have to be prepared for rejection as well. The only thing about trying for more than friends is that if she does not feel the same way then the friendship that you two do have may be frayed. Its all about risks and its about finding the right one. If you do belive she is it I would try slowly to become more than friends.

Don't let the idea that your only 15 get in the way. My parents were together when my mom was 14, my dad was 15 and they will be making their 43rd anniversary in a few months.

Good luck

Answer 3

First dont use phrases like I deserve this as that isnt true at all. Nor are you a horrible person. You have made a mistake and you have acknowledged that mistake. Self forgiveness is very important. Of course I am sure you can understand your husband being very hurt by what has happened as you would have been if the shoe was on the other foot so try to see things from his side too. The lack of self respect you felt that first time caused a spiral of more of the same and this often happens. Sometimes people need to hit rock bottom first, maybe you have done this. You need to move on and forget what has happened, not being sure of your full circumstances this may mean moving to another town and starting over or maybe throwing away something that reminds of what you have done. Every day tell yourself you are a good person and you have forgiven yourself for what you have done. If yu havent already, talk to your family and apologise to them for what happened and ask them to forgive you (sometimes having it said to you face to face makes all the difference) and talk to them (if your children are old enough, if not then just your husband) and explain whatever led you to take this road and that you want to make amends and move on. Do something nice for yourself to start the "new you" maybe some new clothes and chnage your hair style? Above all take it day by day and try not to dwell on something no amount of worry or self hate can change. It happened. Its over. Time to let it go and start afresh. remember the only way to go from the bottom is up :)

Answer 4

aww hunny, i think most people have been in your position at some point in their lives.
Best thing you can do is sit her down and tell her how you feel, if she is a good friend and doesnt feel the same it shouldnt be a problem for her , if your feelings are that strong she may even already have an idea.
Alternativly if she does feel the same way you may be on th eway to happier times. (i have my fingers crossed for you)
No matter whta we do in life our true friends will be there for us, all the time thru thik and thin.
A note for the future, always sieze the moment, if you end up in this position again make sure you go for it, nothin venturd nothin gained and all that.
I lost out a few years back and have never forgiven myself, unfortunatley for me the guy in question decided to move to the other side of the world befor i got the courage to say anything. Told me he couldnt stay here with me. Broke my heart he did little get!
Dont make the same mistake many of us have.
Good luck no matter what happens at least you know and will be able to move on with your life.

Im rootin for ya
xx

Answer 5

I know you are not going to like this but sometimes things happen for a reason. Fate is a funny thing and although I really think we play a huge part in our own future some things just happen which make differences. Why don't you have a talk to her and tell her how you feel or if this is too difficult write to her. Maybe its not too late but what ever the outcome take it head on and hold your head up and admire her for who she is. To be quite honest at 15 you haven't even found the real you yet let alone the woman of your dreams.

Answer 6

Take a deep breath!! Been there, done that and got the heart ripped out t-shirt. Unfortunately there is no easy answer. Have you talked your feelings over with her?? If not then do so...it's never too late. My wife kept me as her 'friend' for a year before we started dating and believe me there is a big difference between being friends and partners...and i'm not just talking about the fringe benefits either. If she doesn't feel the same then try and save the friendship because it's better to have a friend than not. There are other girls out there (god what a cheesy thing to say), but it is true and when you least expect it...BANG...it'll happen! Chin up

Answer 7

It sounds like you both are still pretty close. Why don't you try telling her how you feel about her? Find a time when you both can be alone without any distractions or interruptions and spill it. She will probably be flattered to know you think so highly of her. However, if she has a boyfriend at the moment, I'm not sure I would say anything. It's a judgement call. Good luck!

Answer 8

Darling,you can't live your life saying to yourself "if only".
I know you think this girl is the most perfect human being on the planet at the moment.But honestly honey, you haven't met her yet.
You will look back on how you feel about this girl in a few months and wonder what on earth you ever saw in her.You very young you know to be thinking about a serious relationship.
I don't mean to sound mean or to make light of the way you feel at the moment.Just know through experience that not many of us end up with our first love.

Good luck and god bless,if your meant to be together you will.

Answer 9

did she move away or something? What's stopping you from telling her how you feel now? You make it sound like it's too late. Well it's not too late until she's married, Bub. So it doesn't matter if she has a boyfriend or whatever, if she's interested in you she'll leave him.

If tell her how you feel and she doesn't feel the same way, then she probably never did, and you didn't miss your chance or anything because the answer would've been the same had you told her last year.

Answer 10

I am 16.I understand ur feeling perfectly dear!Its my deepest concerned advice my dear, dont be so much engulfed in frustration.U still have this friend right?Why d u think u hav lost the chance?U can stil tel her!But as far ur information suggests, I think u two have become distanced as friends now right?That warmth is lacking....At this juncture, u cant jump to love dear! U hav to relive that old friend of urs.Try to do that.U cant expect to see a red flower on the dried rose plant, can u?Gain that frendship, then propose her.But dont feel so frustrated, life has just begun!!!Take care! I ud pray for u!