My friend neede help with her son who is very demanding and is possibly has ADHD.?

Question

Her son has been assessed but no-one has diagnosed ADHD. Every night her son will not go to sleep and until she does he is such hard work. Jumping around squeeling, shouting at her nasty things and making her life unbearable. Does anyone know of somewhere she can get help?

Answer 1

How old is he? Kids are not normally diagnosed ADHD until after 7 and there is a whole range of things that get ruled out first, its not an easy option by any means. Before diagnosis your health visitor should be able to help and there are plenty of support groups online, try adders.org. If he does have adhd the key things to remember are keep to strict routine, stick to no when you say it, focus on one problem area at a time, use instant rewards (far more effective than punishment) IGNORE ALL THE PEOPLE WHO TELL YOU IT DOESNT EXIST, and have a sense of humour. Good luck.

Answer 2

She needs to talk to her Health Visitor. Diet and the childs routine may also play a huge role. Cut out all processed, fizzy and sweet things. You didn't say how old the child was but I think it would be a good idea if your friends sat down with a pen and paper and set up a routine which she sticks to. Cut out any day time sleep even if it causes an upset and then the child should want to sleep more at night. Reward the child for his good behaviour and take away privilages if he is naughty or rude. After a week or so of hell changes should happen. It will mean changes for her aswell as the child.

Answer 3

Stucture, routine, and consistency are the key...

It is really important for mom to decide on what the rules, what behavior is expected, and what the consequences are for both good and bad behavior. Mom must be 100% consitent or else it will never work...

My guess is that mom gets so frustrated by the behavior that she probably gives in, thus creating a horrible pattern...

Rule #1 Bed time is bed time there is no negotiating
She needs to be firm and let her son know what is expected and clearly define the consequences ahead of time if he chooses not to follow directions.

Mom needs to do whatever bed time routine they do (ie bath, story, parayer...) and then state it's time for bed, and tuck him in.
He will not listen and will get up and run around, shout.... each time mom needs to put him back into his room and state again it's time for bed... There should be no further discussion!

This will an exhausting process (perhapse several hours), especially the first few nights, but if mom can stay firm, and consistent it wll work. Eventually her son will realize that bed time is bed time and that he is not going to win the battle..

Rule# 2
Reward immediately for the appropriate behavior... Decide ahead of time what the rewards will be...Lots of verbal praise hugs, kisses are important

Follow through if he does not act appropiately and do it every time. If there is not TV for not going to bed, make sure you don't give in..

Use charts with stickers... Kids love it.. Its a great way for them to see their progress.

My daughter used to have terrible tantrums last for 1-3 hours, of screaming, slamming doors, throwing self on the floor. I stoppd paying attention to the behavior. I immediately took her to the time out room and simply stated you may come out when you are quiet and ale to talk. We struggled for several weeks (she didn't tantrum every day) but finally she will stop within 5-10 minutes and be able to verbalize problems. I also used this same method when she had trouble going to bed... It's tiring,but works...

Answer 4

How old is he?
Our youngest never went to sleep until I would fall asleep reading to him. It was exhausting.

Does this child go to day care? Day care before preschool age risks broken attachment between mother and child. When the attachment is broken, it's hard to get kids motivated to behave, because it is the attachment to mom that motivates them to please. Day care use also causes aggression in young children.

You can call is ADHD to take away responsiblity from the parents, but more than likely it's the way he's been raised so far that's causing the problems and therefore where the changes need to come.

Your friend could use - how to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk. a great book.

Answer 5

I would sugggest a trip to the doctors to discuss referral to the local child psychologists they help with different behavioural therapies and management also the gp may suggest medication for her child and follow ups at the paediatricians for possible further assesments.

Answer 6

adhd is something they made up instead of saying the child is very sad and unhappy about something or broken inside and acts out with bad behavior.I swear these days we want to attach a lable to kids that are cryin out for help emotionally so lets drug them and call it adhd.

Answer 7

she can get him diagnosed, then there is lots of programs to help... alot of times ADHD kids don't sleep more then 4 hours a night... she needs to teach him what to do quietly on his own and safely... get locks high up so he can't get out.. and find a consistent displine tecnique that works for hiim

Answer 8

be firm and set rules all though the day. try and read to him at bed time and in 15-20 min he'll be out fast asleep think of it as a time to also get to know the child.

Answer 9

stop feeding them caffeine and sugar, especially in the evening. Get them to join some after school activities to burn up their energy and don't let them get too distracted just before going to bed like watching TV.

Answer 10

Get him in an athletics club (I am quite serious). You will be surprised how much he will improve.